Wednesday, June 3, 2020
standardized patient

Exciting New Ways to Finance Residency Interviews

It’s that time of year again when fourth year medical students across the country prepare for the long, stressful, and expensive process of interviewing for residency positions. “The cost of flying and hotels is going...
med students drop out

Med Students Have All the Tools to Drop Out Before It’s Too Late

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the current uncertain health care climate and emphasizing that the "time is now," both the American Medical Association (AMA) and American Medical Student Association (AMSA) have announced that med students have...
intubation teeth

Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...

TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia...
Magic 8-Ball

Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance

NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on the conference room table for all the members of her...
smug medical student gunner med student

Jehovah’s Witness, Vegan-CrossFitting, Essential Oils-Selling Med Student Uncertain How to Open Conversation

SEATTLE, WA - Local fourth-year medical student, Brody Smugprick, attempted to strike up a conversation with a fellow student at a fair-trade coffee market inside of a Whole Foods but found himself stumped on...
pilot med student turbulence

That’s Weird: Pilot Asks if There’s a Med Student on Board

DELTA 1449 - In response to a medical emergency brought to his attention by flight attendants, Delta pilot Jack Wilson has just asked on the cabin’s overhead speaker system “if there is a medical...

Special Counsel Mueller to Question All Med Students on Interview Trail

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In news which will make the already nerve-racking process of interviewing for residency positions for the 2018 Match that much worse, the office for special counsel Robert Mueller announced that it...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most important, year of medical education. “This is the year right before...
stethoscope fairy

Medical Student Leaves Stethoscope Somewhere in This Godforsaken Hospital

HELL - Brian Studebaker, MS3, has left his stethoscope somewhere in this god forsaken hospital for the 85th time, sources confirm.  Studebaker describes his stethoscope as “blue,” as this is the color of his...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student Excited to be First Assist for Turkey Carving This Thanksgiving

ST. LOUIS, MO - While many medical students will be spending Thanksgiving at home with their families, third-year medical student (MS3) Brent Tryhard has other plans.  Attending surgeon Dr. Scal Pel has asked Tryhard...