Thursday, June 24, 2021

Nursing Student

Nursing student satire

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
Halloween costume

Nurses Fired Over Grim Reaper Halloween Costumes

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HOUSTON, TX - Two Nurses were relieved of duty on Friday at Good Samaritan Mercy Hospital for dressing up as The Grim Reaper during their ICU shift. Hospital administrator Emily Randalson was furious: “They broke our...
Fourth of July

Special Pyxis to Dispense American Flags & Flair

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FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA, AMERICA - Hospitals and clinics across this great land of ours will be using special Pyxis machines to dispense American flags and flair to all patients hospitalized and all health...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England Journal of Medicine, Ativan is the best medicine with laughter falling...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in a haystack, but that Americans should absolutely draw the line...

STAT Officially Means “Maybe”

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day?  Now we know.  Earlier this morning the Institute of Phlebotomy...
mimosa

Night Shift Nurse Associates Sunrise with Mimosas

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28-year-old nightshift nurse Rene Wilkins has come to appreciate sunrise for several reasons, one to include drinking multiple mimosas at John’s Breakfast Hut at 8am. “Growing up I used to hate sunrise!” proclaimed Wilkins.  “Typically...
16 French

Success! 16-French Foley Placed by Team of 16 French Nurses, Urologists

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PARIS, FRANCE - Gomerblog is ecstatic to report that a 16-French Foley catheter was successfully placed by a team of exactly 16 French health care providers earlier today at Hôpital Necker-Enfants Malades, a teaching hospital...

NASA Nurses Still Awaiting Callback from Extraterrestrial Docs

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Saying it's been well over 45 minutes since they had sent the pages, nurses at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) are still awaiting callbacks from any of several extraterrestrial...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force and maximum torque" and absolutely looks forward to the horrific...