Nursing

By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER

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HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across the nation, the ER at local St. Indignant’s Health Care...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology drape when he spotted Snorlax in an adjacent operating room....
hospital hallway

General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today

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TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled a little less like death than usual. “What a pleasant...
Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Pyxis

Pyxis Replaces Lin-Manuel Miranda in “Hamilton”

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NEW YORK, NY - It's official: Lin-Manuel Miranda's replacement in the critically-acclaimed Broadway smash "Hamilton" is none other than the beloved Pyxis MedStation System, who steps into the role of Hamilton on July 11.  Miranda's...
potassium

Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has stopped everything and look forward to taking care of Room...

Hippie Dolphin Has Natural Air Birth

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TROPIC OF CANCER, PACIFIC OCEAN - Local dolphin, Current, gave birth to a healthy pup: Nevaeh.  Current wanted her baby born at the Tropic of Cancer, on Summer Solstice, and in the open air. "Air births...
online doctorate program

Online Doctorate of Nursing University Under Review as a Possible Scam

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WASHINGTON, DC - The University of Online Degrees (UOD) is under investigation by the FBI regarding their online Doctorate of Nursing program for being a potential scam.  In the last decade the number of...

Popular New Manager Cool With Falls As Long As No Injury

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Red State Regional Chief Nursing Officer, Dolly McGuire, took 10 minutes at the end of one of last week’s Daily Operations Meetings to note the dramatic improvement in nurse satisfaction...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses to wear scrubs, a scrub cap, surgical mask mask, or...
respiratory rate

Nurse Suspended for Consistently Charting Respiratory Rate of 16

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CHICAGO, IL - Nurse Jamie Inspira was suspended from Atlantic Memorial Hospital last week.  In a report that was just made public, it was stated that Nurse Inspira, RN continually charted respiratory rates (RR)...