After Counseling Patient on Evils of Alcohol Abuse, Medical Team Leaves Work & Gets...
ATLANTA, GA - A multidisciplinary inpatient team at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) spent thirty minutes at bedside warning their patient Doug Johansen of the many evils associated with alcohol abuse: mood disorders, gastritis and...
Hospital President Purchases Exotic Car, Maintains Non-Profit Status
MIAMI, FL - St. Mary’s Regional Hospital patients and staff were treated to a wonderful sight as they walked into the hospital Tuesday morning. A red 2015 Ferrari 458 Italia glistened in the parking...
Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal
ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked him to empty his own urinal. The 50-year-old Stern was...
Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian
ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. A recent eye-opening poll held on the world-renowned medical website Facebook found...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey was recently hired by a local hospital...
Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products
GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on their blood bank to “regulate their blood products more efficiently.”...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts, instincts, and motivations, and promises to do so with superior...
Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George Sssshblamm, after both tragically burned out and spontaneously combusted during...
July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers
MILWAUKEE, WI - Migraines, elevated blood pressures, and heart attacks are just a few things nurses are trying to avoid this month as they take July vacation in record numbers to avoid or escape...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH) are now considering renaming medical doctors (MDs) to something much...