Thursday, March 28, 2024

Pathology

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

46
LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores have become the most valued metric to many hospital administrators,...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

34
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or not, I’m recommending a multivitamin. OB/GYN Translation: Not another pelvic exam for...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

39
BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern, Mercedes Bagger, who provided first-hand testimonial to this truth last...
pathologist

Pathologist Performing Autopsy Requests More Tissue

25
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Internal medicine resident, Dr. Cynthia Talbot, was surprised to receive a call from pathology about her patient.  It had only been three months since she had requested an autopsy, surely they...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

23
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with Hartsfield-Jackson International (ATL) airport this coming weekend, in an effort...
red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

30
PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options exist in critical care settings, where doctors have been forced...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

22
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a few bites into his meal, something didn't seem right. "I ordered...
pathology

Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight

22
SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of a third-year pathology resident.  "I had no idea what was...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

72
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a horrible life. Let's be honest, you got yourself into this.       ...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

4
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...