Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found herself stuck on the second syllable. Thanks to her nurse...
Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000 year old female pegasys was captured by the pharmaceutical giant...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year the bracket has expanded to include all of the pain...
MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy
NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled daily medications, drug giant MegaPharm has released a new product...
Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty
GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty? Here goes!
Allergy
“I like it when you can’t breathe.”
Anesthesiology
“I’d love to rescue your airway.”
Bariatric Surgery
“Come on, I...
Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying
Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the anticoagulant effects of Pradaxa in emergencies. That got us to...
Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over wanting that one pill that fixes everything: their weight, hypertension,...
Things You Should Know About Martin Shkreli
CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli raised the price of Daraprim, a drug used in the treatment of toxoplasmosis, from $13.50 to $750 per pill. Who is Martin Shkreli? GomerBlog is here to provide...
Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...
DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more generic medications used by over 150 million Americans afflicted with...
Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code
FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne. A code blue was called overhead and nurses and doctors rushed to the scene of a crashing...
