Thursday, April 25, 2024

Primary Care

times square work note

Work Note Center Opens in Times Square, Deadbeats Rejoice

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NEW YORK, NY – What’s all the commotion in Times Square?  Not another Naked Cowboy, it’s the new Walk-In Work Note Center.  Based on the model of walk-in urgent care centers, patrons are lining...
incentive spirometry

Bong Incentive Spirometer‏ a Big Hit in Colorado Hospitals

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BOULDER, CO - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce the release of the FDA and DEA approved Bong-dongle pulmonary incentive spirometer/peak flow meter (patent pending).  The Bong-dongle is a revolutionary new device that couples...
sitbit

Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week.  Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit, Sitbit is a stylish, smart wristband meant to be worn...
new planet

NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features unlike Earth or any other planet discovered to date.  The...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone at the nurses station, immediately regretting his decision. "The caller...

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

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BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as the go-to option for women wanting a more natural birthing...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM; formerly known as the Institute...
couple kissing

Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty

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GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty?  Here goes! Allergy “I like it when you can’t breathe.” Anesthesiology “I’d love to rescue your airway.” Bariatric Surgery “Come on, I...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move “Elf on the Shelf” Variant awakens afflicted patients in a...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...