Primary Care

new planet

NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...

Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously

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CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...

Old Man Tired of Giving Medical History

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GOSHEN, MI - A local man with multiple medical problems decided to tape record his medical history to playback instead of repeating himself at...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting...
health care provider

An Inside Look at a Modern Health Care Practitioner’s Day

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This is a day in the envious life of the modern health care practitioner. One hour before the shift starts Hit snooze.  Hit snooze again.  Break...

Point-Counterpoint: I Got Sick from the Flu Shot

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Taking the Point will be Janet Flowerbottom, a local herbal supplement shop owner from Boulder, CO.  Taking the Counterpoint is Carl Hogstrom, a pig...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...

Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients

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NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...