astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
icu pumps

American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis

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The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain.  A...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
ADHD

Pediatric Community Stunned When Patient Brings Back Vanderbilt Forms for ADHD Evaluation

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LECOMA, MO - After being seen in the clinic about a week ago for chronic behavioral outburst, a local 9-year-old boy and his parents...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
sexual harassment in hospital

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job

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With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...
Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

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BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...
birthing mirror

New Study Links Birthing Mirrors to Vaginal Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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A new study published in the Journal of Vaginal Psychology (J Vag Psy) is reporting a possible link between the use of birthing mirrors...
stressed medical student

Med Student Doing a Psych Rotation Writes Her Own Mental Status Exam

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MENTAL STATUS EXAM (MSE) - A female in her 20's looking stated age, recently changed out of sweatpants and into pajamas with a loud coffee stain.  Dark...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...