Thursday, June 24, 2021

Psychiatry

Hypochondriacs Try to Cope with Pandemic: It’s Not Going So Wel

0
SICKLERVILLE, NJ—Local hypochondriac, Emma Dyne, is not taking any chances with the coronavirus pandemic. For the last month, the 25-year-old healthy woman has worn a mask everywhere she’s gone: her bedroom, the kitchen, and...

Therapy Dogs Now Required to Write Progress Notes

0
BOSTON, MA – In another unprecedented move by the Joint Commission (JC), therapy dogs will now be required to write progress notes on the patients they see.  The move has infuriated therapy dogs all across...

Psych Agrees: “It’s Just Another Manic Monday”

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Well, the weekend is over and it's the start of a new work week.  For Tulane psychiatrist Curtis Loder, his Monday schedule has once again been frontloaded with patients who...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

Practice Advisory: MRI Dysphoria Receives ICD-10 Diagnosis Approval

0
Proponents of continuous inpatient sedation won a victory today when CMS approved MRI Dysphoria as a legitimate thing that an otherwise well-adjusted adult can claim as an affliction. When asked to define the pathophysiology of...

Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

0
Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without this damn thing going off,” he grumbles, hauling himself out...

Psychiatric Screamers to Replace Screeners in ERs

0
Given the continued emphasis on cost cutting, implementing effective measures, and streamlining services in healthcare, some cutting-edge emergency departments are moving from their usual psychiatric screeners to psychiatric screamers. This is the brainchild of...

Bill Clinton Thought Balloons Were Silicone Breasts

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA - GomerBlog’s psychiatric team was found to be correct that Bill Clinton was hallucinating during the Democratic National Convention (DNC) several days ago when he was playing with the falling celebration balloons. Lead...
adhd veterinarian

Veterinarians Overdiagnosing Pets with ADD

0
BETHESDA, MD - The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a troubling report which suggested that veterinarians in the U.S. are overprescribing stimulants to pets.  "Medications to treat Pet Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD), such...
dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

104
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week to languish for approximately 25 minutes before receiving the parenteral...

Local Psychiatrist Using Big Words, Wondering Why Patients Aren’t Improving

12
MEMPHIS, TN - "I usually start the session off by telling the patient about my triple boards in psychiatry, adult developmental psychiatry, and addiction medicine.  Then I continue into how long medical school was...