Psychiatry

icu pumps

American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis

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The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain.  A...
stressed medical student

APA Finally Admits It Just Too Damn Lazy to Add Treatment Section to DSM

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WASHINGTON, DC—The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has at long last definitively answered a question that has been floating around ever since the publication of...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
cat licking

Cats Outperform Humans in Treating Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder

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The psychiatric community is abuzz regarding an innovative treatment approach for patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that has both improved outcomes and lowered...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
pediatric consult

Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West

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El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...
crazy ICD-10 diagnosis

‘Crazy’ Added to ICD-10, Right Next to ‘Dr. Oz Says’ Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Clinicians around the country were happy to learn that "Crazy" has been added to the upcoming ICD-10 codes, a most recent...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...