Psychiatry

wristbands

Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients. Like...
driving to ED

Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel...
birthing mirror

New Study Links Birthing Mirrors to Vaginal Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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A new study published in the Journal of Vaginal Psychology (J Vag Psy) is reporting a possible link between the use of birthing mirrors...
stressed medical student

APA Finally Admits It Just Too Damn Lazy to Add Treatment Section to DSM

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WASHINGTON, DC—The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has at long last definitively answered a question that has been floating around ever since the publication of...
patient in pain

Patient with Munchausen Syndrome Disappointed to Develop actual Disease

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The sixth-floor inpatient medical ward, a normally bustling wing of the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, became decidedly more somber today. The etiology lay in...

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

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DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
emotional scar collagen

Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her. "How bad is your...
normal saline

Medical Memes Galore!

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