Psychiatry

personality disorder

New Contagious Disease Recognized: Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder

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"The incorporation of Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder (DIPD) into the ICD-10 is a welcome addition.  DIPD has long been recognized, but never before incorporated into...
march madness

Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness

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HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness.  He presented to the...

New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination

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DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
adhd veterinarian

Veterinarians Overdiagnosing Pets with ADD

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BETHESDA, MD - The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a troubling report which suggested that veterinarians in the U.S. are overprescribing stimulants to...

Mandatory New Regulations: Staff Must Spy on Paranoid Schizophrenics in ICU

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Taking care of paranoid schizophrenics presents unique challenges for medical personnel and families alike.  This can be especially challenging when they ends up in...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity

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BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
psychiatrist

To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally

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WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
baby ADHD

Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD

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LEXINGTON, MA -  Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...