‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s morning. Typically the phrase will be slurred while holding hands...
Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral
ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline and paging the psychiatry resident. Brought in by paramedics late...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its findings. The group’s eighty-six page document includes these observations —
ARIES...
Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor
BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged. Administrators may have found their answer in a new ratio developed by education specialist Dr. Henry...
New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the issue through the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical...
ZDoggMD: Blank Script
Check out ZDoggMD's "Blank Script" rendition of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space." Doctor shopping is alive and well and physicians watch out, Yelp is here! You can always find more of ZDoggMD's videos on his...
Psych Agrees: “It’s Just Another Manic Monday”
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Well, the weekend is over and it's the start of a new work week. For Tulane psychiatrist Curtis Loder, his Monday schedule has once again been frontloaded with patients who...
Sonny Too Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Admitted to Psych
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - GomerBlog has learned Sonny the Cuckoo Bird has been transferred to General Mills’ Inpatient Psychiatric Unit after he was found going a little too cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Sonny the...
Psychiatric Screamers to Replace Screeners in ERs
Given the continued emphasis on cost cutting, implementing effective measures, and streamlining services in healthcare, some cutting-edge emergency departments are moving from their usual psychiatric screeners to psychiatric screamers. This is the brainchild of...
Hypochondriacs Try to Cope with Pandemic: It’s Not Going So Wel
SICKLERVILLE, NJ—Local hypochondriac, Emma Dyne, is not taking any chances with the coronavirus pandemic. For the last month, the 25-year-old healthy woman has worn a mask everywhere she’s gone: her bedroom, the kitchen, and...