Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...
The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1. Let’s go!
Nutrition
Translation: Like it or...
Sonny Too Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Admitted to Psych
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - GomerBlog has learned Sonny the Cuckoo Bird has been transferred to General Mills’ Inpatient Psychiatric Unit after he was found...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines
ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to...