Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self
In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained...
Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!
Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer
BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...
New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Veterinarians Demand Cease and Desist of Emotional Support Animal Letters in Wake of Burnout...
Veterinarians are seeing a spike in burn out amongst dogs, thanks to rampant abuse of the “emotional support animal” label (ESA). In the past...
Med Student Doing a Psych Rotation Writes Her Own Mental Status Exam
MENTAL STATUS EXAM (MSE) - A female in her 20's looking stated age, recently changed out of sweatpants and into pajamas with a loud coffee stain. Dark...
Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM
Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am. At press time Dr. Smith could not...
Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD
LEXINGTON, MA - Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...