Psychiatry

astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
sexual harassment in hospital

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job

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With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...

Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients

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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year.  This year was diplopia.  People were loving it.  The people who weren’t falling...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

Practice Advisory: MRI Dysphoria Receives ICD-10 Diagnosis Approval

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Proponents of continuous inpatient sedation won a victory today when CMS approved MRI Dysphoria as a legitimate thing that an otherwise well-adjusted adult can...
tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

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BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the...
Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

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BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...