astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
therapy dog

Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs

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RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs,...
psychiatrist

To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally

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WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...

Psychiatric Screamers to Replace Screeners in ERs

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Given the continued emphasis on cost cutting, implementing effective measures, and streamlining services in healthcare, some cutting-edge emergency departments are moving from their usual...
haldol delivery system

Haldol Blowdart Halted in Phase 3 Clinical Trial Due to ‘Safety Concerns’

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MORRISTOWN, NJ - Recognizing the mounting need for new and creative ways to quickly administer haloperidol (a typical antipsychotic drug) to that “difficult” patient, Big...
crazy ICD-10 diagnosis

‘Crazy’ Added to ICD-10, Right Next to ‘Dr. Oz Says’ Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Clinicians around the country were happy to learn that "Crazy" has been added to the upcoming ICD-10 codes, a most recent...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...

Invisible Medical Offenses Now Diagnosed as “Nanoaggressions”

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BERKELEY, CA - This week, a working group for the future DSM-VI, the well-recognized psychiatry diagnosis manual, announced that they will be focusing on...
skull fracture

Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral

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ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline...

Sonny Too Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Admitted to Psych

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GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - GomerBlog has learned Sonny the Cuckoo Bird has been transferred to General Mills’ Inpatient Psychiatric Unit after he was found...