Psychiatry

psychiatrist

To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally

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WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
ativan diffuser

FDA Finally Approves The Ativan Diffuser for All Hospital Units

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a closely contested vote, the FDA approved a new medical delivery device this week, the H-Vape 86.  It is an Ativan...

Mandatory New Regulations: Staff Must Spy on Paranoid Schizophrenics in ICU

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Taking care of paranoid schizophrenics presents unique challenges for medical personnel and families alike.  This can be especially challenging when they ends up in...
birthing mirror

New Study Links Birthing Mirrors to Vaginal Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

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A new study published in the Journal of Vaginal Psychology (J Vag Psy) is reporting a possible link between the use of birthing mirrors...
lawn chair

Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
psychiatrist

Psychiatrist Calls Code for Physical Exam

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Dr. Oliver Starsky was recently honored at the American Psychiatric Association’s Annual Meeting after he called a code blue on a psychiatric patient who...

Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients

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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year.  This year was diplopia.  People were loving it.  The people who weren’t falling...

Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression Combined into One Diagnosis to Make Psychiatrist’s Lives Even Easier

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CHICAGO, IL - In an unprecedented update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, three previous separate diagnostic categories will be collapsed...