Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
Hypochondriacs Try to Cope with Pandemic: It’s Not Going So Wel
SICKLERVILLE, NJ—Local hypochondriac, Emma Dyne, is not taking any chances with the coronavirus pandemic. For the last month, the 25-year-old healthy woman has worn...
Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out. Pay was decreasing and vacation...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
APA Finally Admits It Just Too Damn Lazy to Add Treatment Section to DSM
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has at long last definitively answered a question that has been floating around ever since the publication of...
New Contagious Disease Recognized: Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder
"The incorporation of Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder (DIPD) into the ICD-10 is a welcome addition. DIPD has long been recognized, but never before incorporated into...
Renegade Clan of Nap Specialists Declare Independence from Sleep Medicine
DARIEN, IL - In a startling development, a renegade clan of nap specialists known as “The Nappers” have seceded from the American Association of...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...