New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...
CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist. "I've...
Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self
In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained...
FDA Finally Approves The Ativan Diffuser for All Hospital Units
WASHINGTON, DC - In a closely contested vote, the FDA approved a new medical delivery device this week, the H-Vape 86. It is an Ativan...
Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures
TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures. Despite frequenting...
Invisible Medical Offenses Now Diagnosed as “Nanoaggressions”
BERKELEY, CA - This week, a working group for the future DSM-VI, the well-recognized psychiatry diagnosis manual, announced that they will be focusing on...
New Contagious Disease Recognized: Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder
"The incorporation of Defensive-Irrational Personality Disorder (DIPD) into the ICD-10 is a welcome addition. DIPD has long been recognized, but never before incorporated into...
Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals
PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on. That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha...