Psychiatry

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...

‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
ativan diffuser

FDA Finally Approves The Ativan Diffuser for All Hospital Units

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a closely contested vote, the FDA approved a new medical delivery device this week, the H-Vape 86.  It is an Ativan...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

The Days of Limitless “Allergies” Are Numbered

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WASHINGTON, DC - Americans have always enjoyed the right to have a limitless numbers of allergies, but after new CMS guidelines were approved this week,...