Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Psychiatry

Kermit The Frog Diagnosed With Depression; Elmo Committed After Manic Episode

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SESAME STREET -- Sesame Street was rocked by the shocking news that two of its most beloved characters were diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses this week. Kermit The Frog was placed on antidepressants after he...

Local Psychiatrist Using Big Words, Wondering Why Patients Aren’t Improving

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MEMPHIS, TN - "I usually start the session off by telling the patient about my triple boards in psychiatry, adult developmental psychiatry, and addiction medicine.  Then I continue into how long medical school was...
older patient sundowning

Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving.  87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one doozy of a patient.  Lynch has earned the nickname “Beast...

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration that involves giving thanks, food comas, gluttony, beer, and football.  Sounds...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've got to meet him!" Sandy Rosenbleeth confided to her long-time...

Therapy Dogs Now Required to Write Progress Notes

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BOSTON, MA – In another unprecedented move by the Joint Commission (JC), therapy dogs will now be required to write progress notes on the patients they see.  The move has infuriated therapy dogs all across...
dogs in cage at er

Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds

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DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal dogs awaiting placement to inpatient doggie psych hospitals.  With only...
lawn chair

Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for a sh*tty-ass lawn chair that he dug out of the...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The new policy mimics a common Halloween tradition: leave a bowl...
father's day for physician or nurse

Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts for Your Physician/Nurse Dad

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Did you forget to buy your doctor or nurse dad a gift for Father’s Day?  Don’t worry, GomerBlog has you covered.  Here’s a last minute gift guide by specialty for all you procrastinators out...