Psychiatry

Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!

0
Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
pharmacy

Pharmacy Creates Express Line for Psychotropic Drugs

8
HOUSTON, TX - A local pharmacy has taken a novel approach to meet the need of patients’ hectic schedules.  Whereas most pharmacies disperse medication on...

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

0
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

0
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...

Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression

0
BEVERLY HILL, CA - After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler Hulk Hogan has been formally diagnosed with his first episode...
dogs in cage at er

Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds

21
DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity

0
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

11
CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've...
sexual harassment in hospital

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job

0
With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

0
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...