Psychiatry

Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!

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Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

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BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...

Clinically-Depressed Resident Not Flexible Enough for Yoga

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TAMPA, FL - In a sad and tragic turn of events, local resident doctor James Hilden was told that he would never fully be...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...
cocktails

GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...

Hospital Hires Retired Drug-Sniffing K9s as Pet Therapists, Dramatic Reduction of Shady Patients, Visitors...

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COLUMBIA, SC - In an applauded and creative move last month, administration at Our Lady of the Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder Hospital (OLMCTDH) decided to...
cat licking

Cats Outperform Humans in Treating Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder

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The psychiatric community is abuzz regarding an innovative treatment approach for patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that has both improved outcomes and lowered...
march madness

Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness

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HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness.  He presented to the...