Psychiatry

Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression

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BEVERLY HILL, CA - After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler Hulk Hogan has been formally diagnosed with his first episode...

Montana Psychiatrist Arrested for Hosting Underground “Emotional Support Animal Fights”

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Bozeman, MT - The wild west just became wild again! Dr. Samuel Oaks, a college psychiatrist at Montana State University was arrested for hosting...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...

Mandatory New Regulations: Staff Must Spy on Paranoid Schizophrenics in ICU

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Taking care of paranoid schizophrenics presents unique challenges for medical personnel and families alike.  This can be especially challenging when they ends up in...
cocktails

GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
emotional scar collagen

Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her. "How bad is your...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
older patient sundowning

Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving.  87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...

Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!

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Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
zdoggmd

‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently.  Diagnosis: Butthurt.  That’s right, butthurt...