Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
CVS to Limit Opioid Prescription Length to 7 Days, Unless You Say “Pretty Please?!”...
WOONSOCKET, RI - Stepping up to the plate to help combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, CVS Pharmacy has adopted a new opioid policy that...
Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman! So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...
Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...