Breaking: Batman Diagnosed with COVID-19
GOTHAM CITY - Less than two years after he was hospitalized for pulmonary histoplasmosis, Batman has bounced back to Gotham City Medical Center (GCMC), this time with a confirmed diagnosis of...
Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known as the "brilliant butthole sign" is 100% diagnostic...
COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks for health care professionals on the front line...
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first students or employees tested positive for COVID. ...
Nation Washes Hands for the First Time
NASHVILLE, TN - The coronavirus from Wuhan, China is a global pandemic. People are terrified. Hoarding toilet paper, cleaning out grocery stores, and now suddenly washing hands for the first time.
CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked for hours on end with any patient testing...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote of 363 to 40 that will provide much-needed...
Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper
Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but the toilet paper everyone is hoarding.
Major Setback! Scientists Haven’t Worked on Vaccine, Just Been Looking at COVID-19 Memes
ATLANTA, GA - At the CDC the nation has accumulated the world top-notch scientists to work on a Coronavirus Vaccine. After 2 months of diligently working in the basement of the CDC,...
BREAKING: U.S. Patient Tests Positive for COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola, Bubonic Plague, Measles, Smallpox,...
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has identified a patient who has not only tested positive for COVID-19 but also severe acute respiratory...
