News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

rings paper chart aligned

Rings in Paper Chart Not in the Mood to Stay Aligned Today

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ATLANTA, GA - All the metal rings in Room 482A's paper chart are in a particularly bad mood today and don't plan to stay...

Nadal Calls Medical Timeout After Limbs Fall Off During Epic Rally

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FLUSHING, NY - No. 1 seed Rafael Nadal cruised to victory in his opening match against Dujan Lajovic despite calling a brief medical timeout...

Local Man Really Enjoyed Solar Eclipse

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ATLANTA, GA – It was a scene filled with excitement this morning as millions of people from all over the country ventured outside to observe the...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

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British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...

Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer

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ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley,...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

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NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it...

Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
colon run a new scope

Inside Peak at Star Wars: A New Scope

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Gomerblog has got its hands on a leaked screenshot from the latest upcoming Star Wars standalone film.  Though little is known...