Thursday, April 25, 2024

Neurosurgery

Local Man Haunted by Crying Colic Baby

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ATLANTA, GA – Local resident Ryan Foster, a 28-year-old bachelor and physical medicine and rehabilitation (PMR) resident, told GomerBlog he was currently haunted by a crying baby.  “It started happening a few months ago.  I...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...
fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy them either.  Now imagine performing the procedure on a high-speed...
ams

2015 Guidelines for Altered Mental Status Published

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The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for managing altered mental status (AMS) patients coming into the emergency department.
cell phone brain cancer

Alarming Study Finds Malignant Brain Cancers Appear on Side of Cell Phone Use

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BOSTON, MA - A new multi-center randomized study to be published next week in Medicine found that a whopping 52.4% (+/- 3.67% with p-value 0.02) of brain cancers are found on the preferred side of the head used for...

If Elected President, Dr. Ben Carson Plans to Continue Use of PAs & Impenetrable...

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Ben Carson’s campaign for President is gaining steam, so much so that last week his physician assistant spokesperson needed to answer questions about whether the retired neurosurgeon has the political...
skull fracture

Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral

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ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline and paging the psychiatry resident.  Brought in by paramedics late...
brain stem biopsy

Fearless Neurologist Attempts to Order Brain Stem Biopsy Via EHR

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ST. LOUIS, MO - It was Tuesday morning in the middle of rounds when local bad boy neurologist, Dr. Chinstrap, felt his next stroke of daring genius land upon him.  The prior evening, a...
atv craniotomy

NC Hospital Offers Discounted Craniotomy with ATV Purchase

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WINSTON-SALEM, NC - With hunting season fast approaching, a North Carolina hospital has made a controversial move: they have partnered with an ATV dealership to offer a discounted craniotomy coupon to purchasers of the...
mad cow

Neurosurgery Intern Eager for First Solo Case: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Biopsy

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KANSAS CITY, KS - Two weeks out of medical school, newly-minted neurosurgery intern Bill Magoo is already getting his first solo operative case and he is elated. “Everyone says in the interview, ‘Oh we will...