Orthopedics

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
pina coladas

Ortho Likes Pina Coladas, Getting Caught in the Rain

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SANTA MONICA, CA - In a stunning development that has taken place just over the past few minutes, Gomerblog has learned that Ortho likes pina coladas.  "Yes, I like pina coladas," orthopedic surgeon Brock...
external fixator

Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of medicine colleague Louis Lefebvre's stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external...
shoulder pain

A Cardiologist Explains: Shoulder Pain

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Hello, and good afternoon to you.  Of course, I know it must be the afternoon because I don't see patients in the morning or evening or weekend anymore. At any rate, I shall discuss with...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new drum kit, something that he's been dreaming of getting for...
OB GYN

Say It Isn’t So: OB Dumps GYN, Now Dating ENT

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - First PT/OT, then Brangelina, now this?!  After centuries together as one of healthcare's power couples, Gomerblog reports that OB/GYN is done for good, with the two officially splitting earlier this...
wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the James family during Thanksgiving dinner. "This makes me so angry," said...
Da Vinci, Bowser, Super Mario Bros

Da Vinci on Quest to Rescue Princess Toadstool

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WORLD 2-4, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - We have just received word that the Da Vinci Surgical Robot has embarked on a quest to save Princess Toadstool, as Super Mario remains in tough condition after a...
gout

Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and treating a patient with an oft-confusing medical condition completely on...
bloody armpits, bleeding armpits

Woman Not Sure if She’s Using Crutches Correctly

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TOWSON, MD - A local woman by the name of Mary Ellis, who sustained a fracture of her right medial sesamoid bone during a recent slip-and-fall accident, is just not sure if she's using...