General Surgery Realizes They’re Becoming the British Empire of Surgery
Local general surgeon, Arthur Wellesley, reclined in his leather armchair yearning for the days of General Surgery domination of nearly every aspect of Surgery. ...
Orthopod Rushes Home to Bury Bone in the Backyard
AUSTIN, TX - Unable to contain his excitement any longer with a freshly-harvested femur in his right paw, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley bolted out...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children
LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s...
Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues
KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”
SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in...
Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son
NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz. Dr. Roger Messi was...
New Surgical-Themed Starbucks Drinks
The highly successful sales campaign of Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino has got the Starbucks’ marketing team all fired up and ready to target another demographic...
Orthopedic Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot, Voids the Warranty
FLORENCE, ID – The OR staff here at Idaho Regional Medical Center is buzzing with the news that the hospital’s only da Vinci robot...
Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management
BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a...
‘Arrival’ Heroine, Dr. Louise Banks, Tries to Decipher Wordless Language of Orthopods
MONTANA - After playing a critical role in deciphering the language of the alien squid-like heptopods as chronicled in last year's real-life documentary Arrival,...