Surgery

The Difference Between a Pianist and a Penis

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In this series, Gomerblog delves deep into two things often mistaken for one another and helps sort out their differences in order to help...

ENT Docs Vote Unanimously to Drop the Nose, Will Only Treat Ear & Throat

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ALEXANDRIA, VA—In a move that has left many speechless, the board of directors of the American Academy of Otolaryngology (AAO) voted unanimously today to...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...

Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo

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AUSTIN, TX - The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed...
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Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally...

Study: Reason For 100% of Mandible Fractures Clear After Meeting Patient

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The latest study from the Journal of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery has confirmed the clinical gestalt of thousands of emergency physicians: If a patient has...

Concerned Podiatrist Probes Foot Ulcer Down to Aorta

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Initially concerned a diabetic foot ulcer might in fact be osteomyelitis, podiatrist Alice Short not only successfully probed the ulcer...
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Patient Undergoes Successful Prophylactic Cardiac Resection

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NASHVILLE, TN - A patient has undergone successful prophylactic cardiac resection at Nashville Medical Center today in a “very proactive effort" to mitigate any...

Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers

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A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...

Struggling Hospital Converts Idle Operating Rooms Into Escape Rooms on Weekend

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SPRINGFIELD, NJ—One of the most popular new forms of entertainment may be coming to a hospital near you. In an effort to make more...