KANSAS CITY, MO – In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a Gastroenterologist of Mount Sinai, was paged a record thirty-five times during a bowel movement.
At approximately 9:36 AM, Dr. McFadden received a thirty-fifth page before the toilet was flushed and the hospital erupted in defecatory jubilation.
If confirmed, this would shatter the previous record of thirty pages during a ten-minute bowel movement previously set by Dr. James Winter at The University of Washington Seattle in 2009.
“Your mindset changes with each page,” Dr. McFadden explained, washing his hands thoroughly while humming the Happy Birthday song. “The first page, you think, ‘Of course.’ The second through tenth pages you’re furious. Ten through twenty, it actually starts to become hilarious. After twenty, I thought, ‘You know what, let’s have a good bowel movement without any complications.'”
Dr. McFadden is no stranger to rapid paging during bowel movements. Just two months ago, he received twenty-four pages during a nine-minute bowel movement. He admitted to getting too worked up and as a result, not only dropped his pager in the toilet but also wiped too hard, leading to some residual irritation and bleeding.
“A rookie mistake,” Dr. McFadden admits, grabbing his stethoscope and adjusting his tie.
When Dr. McFadden exited the bathroom at 9:37 AM, he was greeted with gloved high fives, yellow gowns, and sterile pats on the back. He sarcastically thanked everyone for their support before promptly leaving the floor and deleting his pages.
Nurses on the floor who despise Dr. McFadden gleefully chuckled, “That’s what he deserves for being such a prick! Who orders Lasix on a demented patient without a Foley anyways?”
I played a joke on my attending. I’m a bit evil…… one of my elderly dementia patients would call out her caregiver’s name all night long, constantly. So, I taught her to yell for my attending instead. I told her that she had to yell for him, b/c he would be the only one who could help her. The rest of the night, she’s screaming, “Dr. ——–!!!!!” Then, the guy sitting across from her says, “He can’t hear you from in here. You need to yell louder (I hadn’t planned on this, but it added to the hilarity!), and HE starts yelling, “Dr. ——–!!” Both of them all night long. My attending threatened me with payback, to be sure!! LOL!
It’s the department chairman every time
Clearly he doesn’t know the three task rule. Every time you are paged, the person who pages you gets three tasks. Change normal saline to ringers, get a set of orthostatic vitals and a weight. Next page change Ringer to D5 1/2, make sure the patient walks and q1hr vitals for 3 hours. The pages stop pretty quickly.
Lauren Bylow please advise Chris.
Maybe I’ll try this at work, thanks Dr. Gerke!!!!!!!
LOL! Yes!!
He had it coming…
I love the nurses reasoning for why they did it. LOL
I think some docs are just that way and others don’t know any better (yet).
I’ve found that the best way to get a doc to call you back is take a potty run or a lunch.
Ummmmm I’ve actually done this to an obnoxious resident. Paged her about ten times to ten different nonexistent numbers.
I am so guilty of this
I dont understamd why doctors would treat their nurses terribly. I know it happens, but it seems to be the worst thing to do.
Love this!
That’s just a nurse being nice too.
Haha! I’m guilty
Yeah , Don’t forget those Unit Secretaries . We know how to Text page those beeper’s !! So we can annoy with words too !!
Ridhwan Baba : happened at mount Sinai ! Watch out !
That 3 AM call for a Dulcolax
Kathleen Geary. Jenny Ferrera. Susan Mindel. I THINK I KNOW WHICH DOC IM DOING THIS TO.
Marc Masotti
Never piss off a nurse
Happened to me many times when I was an intern.