Thanks but no thanks.  Percocet (oxycodone/acetaminophen) doesn’t work for me.  Why?  Isn’t it obvious?  You’re the one with the medical degree and you don’t even know?  Well let me explain it to you.  Percocet contains Tylenol.  No, I’m not allergic.  But Tylenol does nothing for my pain.  Nothing.  I’ve taken Tylenol and Motrin for years and I’m still in pain.  Sometimes so much of it I have to go to the ER.

I’ve had pain for a long time.  I know my body and I know what works.  Tylenol definitely doesn’t work.  To be honest I don’t think any oral medication works.  It just makes it feel just barely tolerable to get by.  Takes the edge off.

I’ve been prescribed Tylenol and Motrin for years.  I’m not doctor shopping, just trying to find someone that doesn’t make me sign anything and gives me what works.

What, where is my pain?  My abdomen.  Don’t get another CT scan either.  No “doctors” have been smart enough to find the source of my pain.  Oxycodone works, but barely.  The only thing that ever really helps is Dilaudid.  But even THAT makes me itchy so you’ll have to push some IV Benadryl first.  Wait don’t even think about pushing it slowly either, I’m a fast metabolizer.  That stuff will be gone before it gets to where it needs to go.  I know my body.

Percocet.  Big Tylenol would like you to prescribe Percocet.  Quit holding back on me, give me the stuff that works: oxycodone.  Thanks for doing your JOB.

I’ll be going to hang out with girls tonight, don’t think for a second I’ll be telling them how you tried to give me Percocet for the pain.  No, I won’t be drinking Screwdrivers.  Urgh haven’t you learned anything?  Orange juice doesn’t get me drunk.

Lord Lockwell
Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.