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BOCA RATON, FL – Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word “dolor,” successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with Spanish-speaking patient Rosamaria Anarosa Esperanza Maricela Calderas-de-las-Cruces.

medical student

Attending physician Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, in an exclusive interview with GomerBlog, offered details of the health care feat.  “That kid is totally cutthroat.  I was sitting at the nursing station and all I could hear were loud echoes of the question ‘DOLOR?!  DOLOR?!  DOLOR?!!’ coming out of the patient’s room.”

Despite the listed chief complaints of “vomiting, seizures and fever,” Gunner McBrownnose navigated through an entire review of systems by pointing to various parts of his body and screaming the “DOLOR?!” inquiry.

“Yeah, that one was kind of tough.  There was a lot of miming involved in that interview,” remarked the superstar medical student.  “I’m really gunning hard for a stellar evaluation on this rotation.  I want to show the residents and attending that I’ve really got this situation under control.  I know I could’ve just used the language line, but that would’ve been a sign of weakness.”

Attending physician Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram said, “I can’t wait until he presents this H&P to me on rounds later.  It shouldn’t be very difficult to poke holes in his presentation.”

Patient Rosamaria Anarosa Esperanza Maricela Calderas-de-las-Cruces offered her perspective to GomerBlog.  “It was so hard for me to keep a straight face during his interview and exam.  I just had to see how far he could take the ‘DOLOR?!’ schtick.  When he got to the seizure history part, I almost cracked up.  I mean, that kid started convulsing on the floor to imitate a seizure while pointing at his head & screaming ‘DOLOR?!!’  It was too funny.  I’m not really sure what good yelling the word did, but I started to chuckle a bit when his voice got hoarse from all the screaming.”

She added: “Oh yes, I also speak English fluently.  He just never asked me what languages I speak and he launched right into his ‘DOLOR?!’ routine.  I enjoyed the entertainment.”

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Dr Pablo Pistola
Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola
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