BOCA RATON, FL – Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on occasion, and actually is kind-of-sort-of relatively nice. Student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose expressed high praise, stating, “I mean, when she tore apart my history & physical of a Spanish-speaking patient I completed using only the word ‘dolor,’ she used expletives only 6 times and struck me with a pessary only once. It was heartwarming!”
“This the first report ever, in the annals of medical history, that an OB/GYN trainee has been civil to other humans,” said CDC’s Chief Epidemiologist Dr. Sri-Shesh. “In fact, when we heard about the case, we initially were skeptical. But we have thoroughly vetted Dr. Ann Hedonia, and have only uncovered 57 episodes of her lashing out at helpless colleagues and subordinate students. This is, by far, the lowest total we have ever encountered. It’s truly mind-blowing.”
Gunner McBrownnose added, “I had been bracing myself for dealing with daily episodes of rage inflicted on us by the chronically-cranky OB/GYN residents. But it only happened once, maybe twice a week. During this entire rotation, only two of my classmates were incessantly berated to the point of breaking down in tears. It’s practically a stroll in the park – a very sad and dramatic park where everyone walks on eggshells all the time, but still a park nonetheless.”
Dr. Sri-Shesh has acknowledged that when he called Dr. Ann Hedonia to offer congratulations for minimizing her abusive behavior, she thanked him “with only a minor amount of sarcasm and coldness.”
