rectal exam
uncle sam
“I can’t believe this is free today! Thanks Uncle Sam!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to ensure the health of all Americans, the United States government has officially made April 18th, 2016 as National Rectal Exam Day. “Research has proven time and time again that these exams are good for the body, mind and soul,” Mr. John Koskinen was reported saying outside the Internal Revenue Service this morning.

“We have heard some backlash and concern regarding pain associated with these exams but really, No Pain, No Gain.  If you’re really hurting just glance at your neighbor, their elation over the exam or their shared pain will make you better. It’s a win-win in our book.”

While many establishments offer free beverages or various freebies on the 18th, Uncle Sam will be offering rectal exams at participating locations. GomerBlog wants to caution you to please read the fine print: not all exams are free and not all exams require consent.

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