heartbeat pulse
2.0K Shares
heartbeat pulse beats heart rate
“143,329… 143,330… 143,331…”

CHARLESTON, SC – In a classic case of medical student inefficiency, fourth year Tommy Reinhardt has informed his medicine team that he plans on calculating his patient’s heart rate (beats per minute) in an unusual fashion.

“I will first set aside 24 hours, spending the night, as I count how many heartbeats he has in a 24-hour span,” Reinhardt enthusiastically explained.  “When I have that total, I will divide by 24 to get beats per hour and then divide again by 60 to gets beats per minute.”  He gestured as if he was dropping the mic.  “Easy as pie, couldn’t be any easier!”

Reinhardt’s attending, resident, and two interns exchanged looks.  “Sounds like a solid plan,” replied Marlene McCann, the third-year resident on the team, as the others nodded in agreement.  “We look forward to your ingenious calculations.  We might even have you repeat it, you know, for practice.  And if it works out, you can be the dedicated pulse checker for all the patients on our team!”

Reinhardt beamed with pride.

If anyone knows Reinhardt, then on behalf of his team and Gomerblog please, please, PLEASE don’t spoil the fun.  In other words, SHHHHH!!!!  We want to see what happens!  Gotta love those silly med students!

image_pdfimage_print
2.0K Shares

Tags:

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

2.0K Shares