WASHINGTON, D.C. – At a press conference at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital early this morning, surgical oncologist Dr. H.R. McMaster was pleased to announce that he was able to successfully resect Steve Bannon from the National Security Council (NSC). The NSC is stable and recovering in post-op.
“We’re glad to report that the NSC survived such a major debulking surgery with the removal of this near 6-foot-tall, rapidly-spreading, right-sided mass,” explained a tired but relieved McMaster. “We got it all.” A frozen sample performed by pathology was consistent with malignancy.
The Bannonectomy took 18 hours not only because of the amorphous shape of the 63-year-old growth, but because it was tightly intertwined with such vital organs as the aorta and the West Wing. Despite these difficulties, McMaster called the surgery a resounding success and even obtained clean margins.
“It is one of the ugliest masses I’ve ever seen,” McMaster told Gomerblog. He conceded later that the operation was done in “low light” such as to minimize staring directly at the tumor. “President Trump would be envious of these borders.”
It is not yet clear if the NSC will require chemotherapy or radiation. Until that determination is made, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that Bannon is kept in airborne, droplet, and contact isolation.
