When you didn’t think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the medical chart, Dr. Alex Krane saw someone that had 11 out of 12 cranial nerves grossly intact! Ah, yuck. Disgusting.
Is this the beginning of the apocalypse? Should I buy a gun? Break the glass on my zombie survival kit? I honestly cannot say because the doctor, if you can believe this, just glazed over this horrifying fact!!! The chart just stated “CN II-XII grossly intact.” That was it. No elaboration. No zombie blood test follow up. Nothing. He just went on to talk about the patient’s high blood pressure and diabetes.
Ah, hello? I think you are missing the forest for the trees “Doc.” Your patient has something seriously wrong. If they are otherwise normal (a.k.a. not a zombie) at least refer this poor soul to plastic surgery so the rest of us don’t have to stare at God’s mistake. Ugh. Makes my stomach turn just thinking about these gross nerves that are spewed everywhere like a plate of spaghetti, that is actually a plate of worms. Gross. The good news is at least these suckers are intact.