dysentery
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FORT WALLA WALLA, OR – After several weeks of traveling the Interview Trail at a grueling pace, Eunice Justice contracted dysentery and eventually passed away.  Eunice was a fourth-year medical student (MS4) who was applying for an OB/GYN interview spot.  Justice started her journey in Independence, Missouri in June.  She lost the trail for several days in August before finding an abandoned Honda Civic with several First Aid study books near Chimney Rock.

dysenteryIn between interviews, Eunice caulked her Dodge Neon and made it across the Kansas River before taking some time to look around at Independence Rock and found 20 lbs. worth of berries before continuing on the Interview Trail.

Her contracting dysentery was likely due to her meager meal plan which consisted of mostly ramen and Chipotle although her grueling travel pace did not allow for time for her or her oxen to rest.

Justice eventually succumbed to dysentery and was buried in a shallow grave along side the Interview Trail.  She was the fifth medical student to die on the Residency Interview Trail this year; three others contracted dysentery and one drowned attempting to ford a 4-foot-deep section of the Green River.

When contacted for comment, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) blamed Anesthesia but also said that consuming Chipotle may have played a role.

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  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital.
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