Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here are some of our favorite ways at GomerBlog to help keep your favorite necktie nice and colonized.

Use your necktie…

… to wipe down keyboards, phones, doorknobs, urinals, and toilet seats

… as a napkin after eating

… as a tissue after a violent coughing or sneezing spell

… to clean your stethoscope after every patient encounter

… to mop the brow of a diaphoretic patient

… to soothe the eyes of a patient with bacterial conjunctivitis

… to swab a patient’s nasopharynx for influenza or Strep

… to secure an endotracheal tube

… to apply pressure after venipuncture or ABGs

… to clean your hands instead of soap & water or alcohol-based sanitizer

… to disimpact a patient’s rectum

… to sample sputum, stool, or vaginal discharge

… to tamponade bleeding urethras

… to apply lotion to an elder patient’s dry and cracked feet

… to dry purulent wounds

… to pack open wounds

… to wrap diabetic foot ulcers

… to scrub hospital floors

Always let your necktie…

… dangle freely

… come in contact with everyone and everything in a clinic or hospital

Never, ever …

… minimize surface area by wearing a bowtie or no tie at all

… hide your necktie under a sweater, zipped jacket, or buttoned white coat

… wash your necktie

… take your necktie to the dry cleaners

… autoclave it

… buy a new necktie

With these simple tips you will have the most colonized necktie among your peers!