AUSTIN, TX – In yet another case of medical “whoops-a-daisy” late last night, intern Alex Franklin mistook his supervising resident’s order to obtain emergency IO access during a cardiopulmonary arrest for intraocular access, and inadvertently drilled an IV start kit into the left eye of 89-year-old nursing home patient Emma Cousins.
“The resident asked for IO access so naturally I fetched an intraosseous start kit,” explained nurse Steven Killen. He shakes his head. “Leave it to the intern. Next thing we know, he attached the needle to the power drill and aimed straight at the patient’s sclera.”
“In Alex’s defense, IO can stand for many things,” said ICU attending Jason Mueller, scratching his head. “It can stand for intraosseous… intraocular… intraovarian… yeah, no, I don’t know what to say, my intern really dropped the ball on this one.”
Numerous providers present at the code stated that the silence was deafening when Franklin announced he had secured intraocular access.
“We didn’t know what to say,” explained charge nurse Gail Gatlin. “An eyeball IV? Shocking. But when no one else could get peripheral or central access, we shortly realized, ‘Wow, this intraocular access is actually pretty darn secure,’ so we just ran with it.”
Cousins was successfully resuscitated and has surprisingly recovered quickly without any residual deficits. She does describe the “IV in my eyeball” as “a little annoying” but admits “I’ve been through much worse” and states “I’ll be fine.” Later that afternoon, Cousins was transferred to the medical floor where she continues to do well. Ophthalmology was consulted and are extremely excited to clean up the mess, stating, “Wow, we haven’t seen anything like this: WTF IO IV OS!”
In other news, the 20-year-old healthy male one door down from Cousins’ room with an acute on chronic papercut, David Black, is wailing incessantly and begging for Dilaudid, screaming, “This is unbearable, I think I’m going to die,” referring to the clean and secure 18-gauge in his right hand, before putting his headphones back on and texting his friends on his cell phone.
Wendy Chan
Debra Tracey
Lmao
Fuck….. Probably still practicing.
You can’t teach stupid! I wonder at what point when he was DRILLING into a patients eye that he/she realized something was wrong?
If it wasn’t true it would be funny that one would say that. Not actually do it
Bahahahaha! But seriously that’s not funny…
Peter Kanyaro
that 80 year old pt has the fountain of youth in her back pocket!
It’s a satire article and website
reminds me of the chart I saw one time in which the eye surgeon began cutting on the unanesthetized eye: “patient became combative.”
This is so obviously BS, let’s be real. After an incident everyone involved talks to the press & the nurses use it to run meds. Yeah right!
The excruciating “acute on chronic” paper cut down the hall!! Hahah!
Billie Jo Grieve, Gina Risty
The worst part aside from the poor patient’s eye is the fact that they published the intern’s name…
The worst part aside from the poor patient’s eye is the fact that they published the intern’s name…
Traci Gorman Boudreaux read this!
Hehe Intra Ocular
Satire.
Once again, it’s satire.
Again, it’s satire.
Satire.
Once again, satire.
Again, satire.
Satire.
Not cool
Alastair James Baird
I prefer intrathecal/fecal myself!!
Eye-oh access….of course.
Daniel Filbrun – this is what I’m talking about lol
Oh my!
I truly hope this is a joke … How the hell did this intern get MD behind his name
I have made off color jokes about this very thing multiple times…..primarily bc I didn’t think there was a person on the planet who could be this ridiculously stupid! Just when I think I’ve seen/heard it all……
Robert Young
It is indicated for acute closed angle glaucoma.
probably a family medicine or IM intern
Rebecca
This guy’s a champion Julian Phang Jonathan Liu
Gene Lee
Gene Lee
Somebody, somewhere, deep in the recesses of their mind has done this!
Somebody, somewhere, deep in the recesses of their mind has done this!
Omg!
Omg!
Lol…. The paper cut line at the end nails it!
Hmmmm
This cannot be true.
It’s satire.
I just can’t believe it!
Suzanne Venoski Prestwich
Lol!
LMAO IV IO OS!
In other news TJC is conducting research to determine safety of completely removing all abbreviations. Stay tuned.
Funny
Eric Scholten
absolutely!
Me, too!! The people who take it seriously are more funny than the articles, themselves! LOL
This article is hilarious Jamie Kirby Lynch
” amazing skin for an 89 year old” haha
This is a satirical blog…..but yes, in general patients need to take more responsibility.
I am amazed daily that peeps do not realize Gomerblog is satire. LMFAO
Bonnie-Kim Hang
Hahaha just perfect
Well said!
Vanessa Quinones lol
Bahahahahaha
I hope it’s not my hospital, oh please God
Haha
Next they are going to say that I’m doing my Intra-maxillary injections incorrectly….
Umer, yes they can.
Hahaha
yeah no one can be that much dumb!
It’s a satire site. All of their articles are meant to poke fun.
Ha! Ha! and now, IO is on the list of unapproved abbreviations. ;)
LOLZ! Reasonably sure if we only offered dilaudid INTRAOCULAR our requests for said pain med would drop like a dress on prom night.
was the woman in a coma when this happened? Patients need to accept a little responsibility for things as well. If I go to my eye Dr for a check up and they try to stick a needle in my knee, I would stop them.
Ah hahaha
Oh come on that cant be real!
This line is hysterical:
“‘Wow, this intraocular access is actually pretty darn secure,’ so we just ran with it.”
LmfEo!!!!!
Nikhil Kumta hahah
They always said abbreviations just weren’t safe!….lol
Matt Denney
Now I’ve heard everything.
Dr john Punwirthy, attending physician,”yeah we didn’t see this one coming and neither did the patient. We will have a new vision in teaching procedures . We will be stressing to interns they need more of an eye for detail. They can’t lose sight of the proper process. Of course hindsight is20/20 and you can bet attendings and patients will be eyeballing these young doctors much more closely”