Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
paper cut level VIII trauma center

Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really

SANDERSVILLE, GA – Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two ...

totem poll

Med Student Begins Long, Long Climb Up the Totem Pole

SOMEWHERE AT THE BOTTOM BUT DEFINITELY FAR FROM THE TOP – Realizing that the commonly-used ...

tangent

Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines

ATLANTA, GA – Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose ...

PubeMed

Typo Accidentally Sends Doc to PubeMed Website, Not PubMed

BALTIMORE, MD – It took hospitalist Christopher Gray a few moments of staring at steady ...

hip replacement third arm

Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley ...

Purell Foaming Body Sanitizer life-sized

Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer

AKRON, OH – Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, ...

intramedullary nail ACA marketplaces

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom ...