Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
Saline Lock Heparin Lock

Oh No: Nurse Misplaces Key, Saline Lock Locked Forever

NEW YORK, NY – Nurse Brad Frohne remains frantic this morning.  Yes, it has ...

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Breaking: Potato Sees Ophthalmologist for Yearly Eye Exam

BOISE, ID – America’s favorite vegetable, the potato, went for its yearly exam today.  “Its ...

racehorse peeing Lasix

Racehorse Confirms He’s Peeing Like a Human on Lasix

LOUISVILLE, KY – A 4-year-old thoroughbred and racehorse named I’s & O’s has confirmed ...

Death Star Darth VaderDeath Star Darth Vader

Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries

MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR – We have received word from the ...