Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) ...

Robert Mueller indicts Anesthesia interview trail

Special Counsel Mueller to Question All Med Students on Interview Trail

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In news which will make the already nerve-racking process of interviewing ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says “Zero People” Will Catch the Flu This Year

ATLANTA, GA – Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) ...

dick prick urologist urology

Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick

NASHVILLE, TN – After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard ...