90% of Healthcare Workers Unaware N95 Has Eroded into Their Skull

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - A recent survey found that 90% of healthcare workers in the UCLA Health system were unaware that their N95 masks...
davinci robot

Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One

0
CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...

CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:   COVID-19 is a...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...

Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart

0
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....

COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island

0
NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

0
PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations

0
ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...

Nation to Vote on Which Celebrity to Sacrifice to COVID19 Gods

0
Who will you vote to eliminate; Miley Cyrus, Malone Post, Kanye West, or all of the Kardashians? All we know is that even if it doesn't stop the virus, America still wins!

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

0
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...