FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...
davinci robot

Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One

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CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...

Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19

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HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously...

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

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BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...

Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...

Music Therapy: Gomerblog’s COVID-19 Doomsday Playlist

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One of my friends with Palliative Care started this, thank goodness... and I got obsessed with it. I think we all need this. What...

90% of Healthcare Workers Unaware N95 Has Eroded into Their Skull

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A recent survey found that 90% of healthcare workers in the UCLA Health system were unaware that their N95 masks...

A Side-by-Side Look: COVID-19 Vaccines vs. Super Mario Invincibility Star

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The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) first granted Emergency Use Authorization to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine earlier this month, with Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shortly...
toilet paper

Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...

Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd...

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"Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”