CDC Recommends Swabbing All Orifices Simultaneously for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to improve diagnostic yield and address the issue of false test results both positive and negative, new guidelines...
Med Students to Get Vaccine After General Population, Cacti, Humpback Whales
ATLANTA, GA - Commenting their status as backline healthcare workers, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has recommended medical students get vaccinated...
Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19
BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...
Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap
UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...
FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...
Diagnostic Win: COVID-19 Test Comes Back Positive, Negative, and Indeterminate
NEW HAVEN, CT - A patient and her inpatient medicine team at Yale Medical Center are relieved to report that her nasopharyngeal swab for...
Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper
Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On
ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...
Orthopaedic Surgeons Directed to Shelter in Hospital Gym Until COVID-19 Clears
Somewhere, AL – Brock Hammersley has been very concerned as he has watched the Coronavirus spread across the globe. “To be honest, my biggest fear...
CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:
COVID-19 is a...