COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd...
"Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”
Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed
ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...
Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus
LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports.
This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus...
BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19
“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...
COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE
BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...