davinci robot

COVID-19 Breakthrough: Redeployed Da Vinci Can Swab One Patient Per Day

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BOSTON, MA - In what is already considered the biggest breakthrough against COVID-19 in the United States, surgeons report that Da Vinci robots have...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
toilet paper

Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...

Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

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UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...

Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...
vaccines

COVID-19 Vaccine: Frequently Asked Questions

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What are the ingredients in the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine? The ingredients include mRNA, lipids, sodium chloride, potassium chloride, sucrose, black pepper, rosemary, and sage. How is the...

CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:   COVID-19 is a...

Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports. This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus...
vaccines

Breaking: Healthcare Workers Experiencing Hope as Side Effect of COVID-19 Vaccine

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ATLANTA, GA - The most common side effect or adverse reaction healthcare workers are experiencing after the first dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine...