COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...

U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”

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TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

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WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...

Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
joint commission

Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative...
ventilator

CDC Offers to Make Thousands of Flawed Ventilators

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ATLANTA, GA - To atone for the release of flawed testing kits for the detection of novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control &...
santa claus stuck

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: ‘Rona Version

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'Twas the night before Christmas, a week after my first dose of vaccine, The in-laws came to visit, when they should be quarantined! I ducked...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....

BREAKING: Urgent Care Owners Losing Money Lie in Attempt to Regain Income

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Bakersfield, CA - Two physicians who don't actually work in Emergency Rooms or at real hospitals have recently made waves with a youtube video...

FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...