Study: Cure for Covid-19 Likely in Same Vortex or Alternate Dimension Containing Missing Pens

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark, peer-reviewed study published earlier today in the New England Journal of COVID-19 suggests that the cure for novel coronavirus,...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Attempting to “Re-learn” ICU Things 🤦‍♂️

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San Diego, CA - In light of the ongoing COVID19 Pandemic, physicians of all walks of life are preparing to be called upon to...

CDC: If We Stop Testing for Coronavirus, New Cases Will Drop

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC just released a new strategy in fighting novel coronavirus or COVID-19. They will limit, or completely shut down all...

Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

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UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...

Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19

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BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...
vaccines

Breaking: Healthcare Workers Experiencing Hope as Side Effect of COVID-19 Vaccine

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ATLANTA, GA - The most common side effect or adverse reaction healthcare workers are experiencing after the first dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End

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ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...

A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer

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BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into...