CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations

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ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

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BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...
Sudoku

COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...

Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...

Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19

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HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously...

Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...

COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely

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CHANTILLY, VA - In the unfortunate but very possible event a surge of COVID-19 hospitalizations leads to a shortage of ventilators, the American Medical...