CDC: If We Stop Testing for Coronavirus, New Cases Will Drop

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC just released a new strategy in fighting novel coronavirus or COVID-19. They will limit, or completely shut down all...

Concerning: August Intern Asks ‘What’s Covid?’

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MIAMI, FL - August medicine intern Austin Moss asked his attending on rounds, "What's Covid?" Residency program leadership has already been alerted to...
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COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days

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NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now...

BREAKING: U.S. Patient Tests Positive for COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola, Bubonic Plague, Measles, Smallpox,...

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has identified a patient who has not only tested...
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FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...
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COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...

In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb

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NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked...
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COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations

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ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...

Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart

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THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....

Med Students to Get Vaccine After General Population, Cacti, Humpback Whales

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ATLANTA, GA - Commenting their status as backline healthcare workers, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has recommended medical students get vaccinated...