COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE
BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...
CDC recommends Dr. Oz wear “Duct Tape Mask” to slow down false information
Atlanta, GA - CDC released new guidelines Thursday which includes a "Duct Tape Mask" for Dr. Oz to wear. "These new guidlines should...
COVID-19: Derm Braces for Surge in Dry, Cracked Hands
SEATTLE, WA - As a result of a marked uptick in handwashing by the American public in response to pandemic coronavirus, dermatologists across the...
Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...
Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...