Radiologist Drafted Into Direct Patient Care, Forced to Perform Own Clinical Correlation

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San Diego, CA – When Dr. Tyler Bachon started his radiology residency, he thought clinical correlation would only be a phrase he added to...

COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island

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NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on...
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COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...

Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
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COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...
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Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...
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Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...

Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding

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BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...
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Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks

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Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.  “We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re...

CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:   COVID-19 is a...