Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

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UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...

CDC Recommends Swabbing All Orifices Simultaneously for COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to improve diagnostic yield and address the issue of false test results both positive and negative, new guidelines...
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Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On

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ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
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FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
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COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....

Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...

A Side-by-Side Look: COVID-19 Vaccines vs. Super Mario Invincibility Star

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The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) first granted Emergency Use Authorization to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine earlier this month, with Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shortly...
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Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks

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Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.  “We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re...
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U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19

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CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...