Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap
UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...
CDC Recommends Swabbing All Orifices Simultaneously for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to improve diagnostic yield and address the issue of false test results both positive and negative, new guidelines...
Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On
ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...
Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....
Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper
Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
A Side-by-Side Look: COVID-19 Vaccines vs. Super Mario Invincibility Star
The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) first granted Emergency Use Authorization to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine earlier this month, with Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shortly...
Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks
Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.
“We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re...
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...