Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd...
"Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”
Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...
Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus
BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...
CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...
FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...
Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On
ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...
A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer
BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into...
Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One
CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...
Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks
Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.
“We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re...