Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
Nation’s Chiropractors, Homeopaths, Naturopaths Notably Absent During Actual Health Crisis
New York, NY- The Coronavirus continues to wreak havoc across New York City with well over 200,000 infected and 11,000 deaths so far.
NYC hospitals,...
CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:
COVID-19 is a...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative...
In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb
NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked...
COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely
CHANTILLY, VA - In the unfortunate but very possible event a surge of COVID-19 hospitalizations leads to a shortage of ventilators, the American Medical...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...