Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed
ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
Study: Cure for Covid-19 Likely in Same Vortex or Alternate Dimension Containing Missing Pens
BOSTON, MA - A landmark, peer-reviewed study published earlier today in the New England Journal of COVID-19 suggests that the cure for novel coronavirus,...
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...
FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus
LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports.
This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus...
A Side-by-Side Look: COVID-19 Vaccines vs. Super Mario Invincibility Star
The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) first granted Emergency Use Authorization to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine earlier this month, with Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shortly...
COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....
Nation Washes Hands for the First Time
NASHVILLE, TN - The coronavirus from Wuhan, China is a global pandemic. People are terrified. Hoarding toilet paper, cleaning out grocery stores, and now...