CDC: If We Stop Testing for Coronavirus, New Cases Will Drop

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC just released a new strategy in fighting novel coronavirus or COVID-19. They will limit, or completely shut down all...
toilet paper

Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...

BREAKING: U.S. Patient Tests Positive for COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola, Bubonic Plague, Measles, Smallpox,...

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has identified a patient who has not only tested...
gunner med student

Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won't stop fourth-year medical students from experiencing the shear joy of finding...

Nation’s Chiropractors, Homeopaths, Naturopaths Notably Absent During Actual Health Crisis

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New York, NY- The Coronavirus continues to wreak havoc across New York City with well over 200,000 infected and 11,000 deaths so far.  NYC hospitals,...

Diagnostic Win: COVID-19 Test Comes Back Positive, Negative, and Indeterminate

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NEW HAVEN, CT - A patient and her inpatient medicine team at Yale Medical Center are relieved to report that her nasopharyngeal swab for...

CDC Recommends Swabbing All Orifices Simultaneously for COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to improve diagnostic yield and address the issue of false test results both positive and negative, new guidelines...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...

Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19

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BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...
ventilator

CDC Offers to Make Thousands of Flawed Ventilators

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ATLANTA, GA - To atone for the release of flawed testing kits for the detection of novel coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control &...