gunner med student

Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won't stop fourth-year medical students from experiencing the shear joy of finding...
joint commission

Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Supply of ICD-10 Codes for COVID-19 “Dangerously Low”

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when the situation couldn't get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease...

Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19

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BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets

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ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...

BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19

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“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End

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ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...

Diagnostic Win: COVID-19 Test Comes Back Positive, Negative, and Indeterminate

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NEW HAVEN, CT - A patient and her inpatient medicine team at Yale Medical Center are relieved to report that her nasopharyngeal swab for...

Nation to Vote on Which Celebrity to Sacrifice to COVID19 Gods

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Who will you vote to eliminate; Miley Cyrus, Malone Post, Kanye West, or all of the Kardashians? All we know is that even if it doesn't stop the virus, America still wins!