Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...

BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19

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“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.

A Side-by-Side Look: COVID-19 Vaccines vs. Super Mario Invincibility Star

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The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) first granted Emergency Use Authorization to the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine earlier this month, with Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine shortly...

How to Properly Obtain A Nasopharyngeal Swab Specimen

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We are more than 6 months into the pandemic caused by novel coronavirus Covid-19. Let us review how to appropriately obtain a nasopharyngeal...

COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available,...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...

Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...

Online NP Programs to Eliminate Clinical Requirements to Maximally Exploit COVID19

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Austin, TX -  In the past several months while the country has been undersiege from the Coronavirus, numerous political and professional groups have taken full advantage...

Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart

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THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
toilet paper

FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...