toilet paper

FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks

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Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.  “We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
joint commission

Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative...

COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents

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CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal...
blue hospital sign hospital signs

U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19

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CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...
santa claus stuck

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: ‘Rona Version

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'Twas the night before Christmas, a week after my first dose of vaccine, The in-laws came to visit, when they should be quarantined! I ducked...

BREAKING: U.S. Patient Tests Positive for COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola, Bubonic Plague, Measles, Smallpox,...

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has identified a patient who has not only tested...
davinci robot

Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One

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CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...
pulmonary team

Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On

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ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...