Emergency Medicine

emergency department

Intern Shocked to Discover TV Residency and Real Residency Vastly Different

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BALTIMORE, MD - Dr. Anita Campbell dreamt of becoming a physician for years.  Three months ago, she finally graduated from medical school to fulfill...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The...
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Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
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CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...

Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts

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RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

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MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was...
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NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...

All Caught Up with Game of Thrones, Local Man Finally Decides He Should Get...

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ROANOKE, VA - Upon finishing Game of Thrones Season 3 at 2 AM, local man Charles Cerioli decided it would be a good time to visit...