Emergency Medicine

monkeys jumping on the bed

After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’

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BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down.  "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
cardiology updates

Cardiology Highlights in 2014

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Thirteenfold Therapy Increases Bleeding in Patients with Active Bleeding With the proliferation of antithrombotic agents available for the treatment of conditions like acute coronary syndrome,...

ER Catchphrases Guaranteed to Get Consultants to Come into the ER

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LAS VEGAS, NV – Last Friday was the conclusion of the 18th annual meeting of the High-rolling Emergency Medicine Physicians (HEMP) association. Aside from...
ER waiting room

Tips to Bypass the ER Waiting Room

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Wait times in the emergency room (ER) can be very long, especially if your chief complaint is for something like a runny nose that is not an actual emergency.  So...
transporting patient

ICU Admits Patient to ED

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BUFFALO, NY - In a stunning turn of events last night at Sacrebleu Memorial Hospital, Pulmonary & Critical Care fellow Damien Dunlope earned headlines...

Local Hospital Goes Green, Begins Tattooing ID Bracelets on Frequent Flyers to Limit Paper...

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a move lauded by environmental groups and advocates for patient safety, local health system St. Indignant’s rolled out a...

Diagnostic Criteria for a ‘Train Wreck’ Patient

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How does one identify a train wreck?  GomerBlog polled 1,000,000 health care providers in the last 48 hours and the general consensus is that,...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
icu vs ER

ICU Team Happy to Have ER Resident Rotating in ICU

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HOUSTON, TX - The ICU team at Sarcasm General expressed unlimited joy when they learned that the hotshot ER residents would start rotating with...