Retiring Soccer Star to Open Malingering Clinic for ED Drug Seekers
MUNICH, GERMANY - In a surprise announcement sure to shock both the soccer and medical world, German star midfielder, Michael Schmerzen, announced today his...
Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome
ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
14 More Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician
If the advice given to you on the previous list of 15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician was not sufficient to achieve...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List
METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized...
EMS Company Offers Subscription-Based Service
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Accessible Ambulance, a local EMS company, will soon roll out a new way to provide care for the greater Indianapolis community...
Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...
ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain
SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...
Doctor Accidentally Heals Fibromyalgia
For years, Dr. Suda Nim had expressed frustration over his patients who came to the Emergency Department with a chief complaint of a fibromyalgia flare.
"Every...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...