Emergency Medicine

hospital

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

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Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

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Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We...
rich historian

Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever

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PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

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Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the...
superbacteria

Dr. Mark Plaster to Battle New Super Bacteria in Maryland

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ANNAPOLIS, MD - The CDC is warning the public that a new super bacteria has been identified in Maryland that is resistant to every...
dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

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DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

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BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched...