Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...
North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
WASHINGTON, DC - The White House has announced that North Korea has successfully hacked yet another electronic staple of American life – the drug-dispensing Pyxis...
New Program Teaches Patients to Drug-Seek More Cost-Effectively
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) under a new Congressional mandate to design programs to cut costs and reduce...
Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER
YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap. GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this. But we feel...
Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation
LAS VEGAS, NV - In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada geriatric nursing facility run by neonatologist-turned-geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds, has begun...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
The Surviving BS Campaign: Early Detection of BS in the ED
ST. LOUIS, MO - A groundbreaking new multicenter study shows that early detection of BS in the ED leads to significant overall improvement in patient...
Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
New Pain Medication Vending Machine is Sure to Be a Hit
HAPPY VALLEY, CA - Administrators at Happy Valley Emergency Department are working together with a major soda manufacturer to replicate a pain medication ordering...