Emergency Medicine

malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
avocado toast

It’s All Good: Avocado Toast More Effective Than Steroids in the Treatment of Septic...

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NEW YORK, NY - The most important publication since the release of the Sepsis-3 guidelines, a multi-center trial led by a team of physicians...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
Watson IBM

IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED

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CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date.  “After our success in diagnosing...
Obese Guy with BMI Classification

BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”

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GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...

Emergency Physician’s Eyes Well Up at Sight of Empty Waiting Room

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DES MOINES, IA - Staring in awe as the final patient was discharged home, local emergency physician Dave Stanfield’s eyes reportedly welled up at...
EM Doctor

Internal Medicine Resident Ecstatic About Upcoming Emergency Department Rotation

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STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up.  "When I...
em entrance

Frequent Fliers Hired to Evaluate Emergency Medicine Residents

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ST. PAUL, MN - Responding to feedback that existing resident assessments were not properly evaluating the attendings of tomorrow in how they adapt to important...

Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...