100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism
NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
Triage Nurse Rolls Dice to Determine Patient Priority Level
Mercy Regional Hospital ER's newest RN Heidi Evans has been having a rough start to her career at the triage desk, where her job...
Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor
BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged. Administrators may have found their answer...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...
Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers
HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...
Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults
We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult. But sometimes you get that feeling. You know the one. The one...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
So You Develop Chest Pain on a Gondola, What to Do Next
How much do you hate this scenario? You're taking a lovely ride on your gondola when it happens: substernal 10 out of 10 chest...
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year. This year was diplopia. People were loving it. The people who weren’t falling...