Emergency Medicine

eternal life

New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...
red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

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PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options...
level I level II

Patient Survives & Beats Level I Trauma Center, Moves On to Level II

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ATLANTA, GA - It has been a challenging year for 27-year-old Michael Snead, who broke his right femur in a motorcycle accident 6 months...
patient restraints

Study: Physical & Chemical Restraints Can Effectively Supplement Lack of Self Restraint

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CHICAGO, IL - A five patient case series out of Northwestern University recently evaluated the utility of using physical and/or chemical restraints to supplement...
woman with common cold

Woman with a Cold Thoroughly Fills Out ED Comment Card

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Mandy Tremboll, a suburbanite fighter for justice with absolutely no situational awareness, had the audacity to fill out a comment card...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

105
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Clutch: Resident Places A-Line Into Circle of Willis

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ATLANTA, GA - In the same way patients can be progressively difficult sticks from the venous standpoint, the same holds true for their arteries....
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...