ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!
NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
ER Doc Sent to Penalty Box, Gets 5 Minutes for Boarding
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Just when things in the emergency room (ER) couldn't get any worse with influenza A in full swing, all 435 beds...
Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
New Joint Commission ER screen now Mandatory at Hospitals
Due to multiple complaints as well as a couple of negative outcomes related to sandwiches in ERs around the country, JCAHO this week unveiled...
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
Retiring Soccer Star to Open Malingering Clinic for ED Drug Seekers
MUNICH, GERMANY - In a surprise announcement sure to shock both the soccer and medical world, German star midfielder, Michael Schmerzen, announced today his...
Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand
WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks
MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy. The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...
Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors
MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...