Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really
SANDERSVILLE, GA - Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two hours southwest of Atlanta, barely has any resources whatsoever and...
Radiology Reading Center Switching to Snapchat
VALHALLA, NY - The Valhalla Nighthawk Radiology Group recently announced its new partnership with Snapchat, the popular photo messaging application, to place itself ahead...
Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...
Emergency Department Staff Shocked by Prior Authorization Request
CHADRON, NE - Emergency room physician assistant Chester Preshuns was shocked last Thursday afternoon during transport of his STEMI patient to a cardiac/cath lab...
Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars
NORTH CAROLINA - Doctors and nurses are seeing unprecedented highs in morale and productivity three weeks after Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo Hospital installed...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...