Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome
ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked. Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...
Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors
In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors.
"It only makes sense," said...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Emergency Medicine Attending Admits Patient Without Resident Assistance
Dr. Ellie Goodmedicine, an attending physician in the Department of Emergency Medicine at New York City Hospital, stunned the department’s residency program by admitting...
New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit
BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes. "We took functional...
Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks
MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...