Emergency Medicine

screaming in ED

ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain

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SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...

Gomerblog Inspires Emergency Medicine Residents to Solve COVID-19 Mask Shortage Crisis

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Due to mask shortages reported across the country, hospital staff at prominent New England hospitals have been asked to conserve normally...
Delta WiFi bicarb

Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight

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DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta...
Watson IBM

IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED

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CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date.  “After our success in diagnosing...

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...

All Caught Up with Game of Thrones, Local Man Finally Decides He Should Get...

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ROANOKE, VA - Upon finishing Game of Thrones Season 3 at 2 AM, local man Charles Cerioli decided it would be a good time to visit...

Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool

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MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response,...