Emergency Medicine

couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

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Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the...

Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR

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SAN ANTONIO, TX -  Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
ER phone line

Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line

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CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
pencil by medical specialty

Describe This Pencil by Medical Specialty

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Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this...

Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas

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CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...

Mob Boss Agrees to Shoot Man in Kneecaps Before Weekend

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CHICAGO, IL - "I swore off horse races for 10 years, but I relapsed," Sam Hemsworth told us from his wheelchair.  "Before I knew...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
ams

2015 Guidelines for Altered Mental Status Published

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The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for managing altered mental status (AMS) patients coming into the emergency department.