45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’
Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head."
Known for years by co-workers...
United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes
CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Emergency Room Bingo!
Getting burned out working in the ED? Make sure to pull out your ED Bingo cards and play!
Ashley Madison Data Leak Possibly Linked to Spike in Hospital Admissions
LOS ANGELES, CA - News of the Ashley Madison adultery website data leak is possibly leading to an unexpected surge in hospital resource utilization today,...
Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line
CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...