Public Health Concern: ‘Stop Minding Your Own Business’
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference today the CDC announced that there is a resurgence in a seemingly incurable public health concern that...
Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment
WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt...
What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager
CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1
Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult. What does that really mean? In the first of...
Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks
MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy. The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Emergency Room Bingo!
Getting burned out working in the ED? Make sure to pull out your ED Bingo cards and play!