Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager
CUPERTINO, CA - Lost amidst the excitement of the new Apple Watch has been the new Apple Pager, which is also due to hit...
SOL: In-Flight Emergency Medical Kit Just Contains Bicarb
DELTA 1342 - Well, I hate to break this news to you, especially since you were just so nice enough to volunteer and help...
Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone. Her roommate,...
Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin.
"I see that...
Pez Introduces New Pocket Percocet Dispenser
EAST ORANGE, NJ - The Pez candy company announced its first upgraded dispenser design in decades last week, as the candymaker looks to tap...
Medical Scribe Gets Doctor to Take Notes, Shifting the Balance of Power
AUGUSTA, GA - In a striking new development in the world of medical documentation, emergency room physician Arthur Gates admits to still being in a...
ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
