Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line
CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
Inspira Health Systems Partners with Domino’s Pizza to Streamline Patient Transport
ANN ARBOR, MI - Capitalizing on their track record in efficient pizza delivery, Domino’s Pizza has recently branched out into the health care arena. ...
Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale
With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...
Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool
MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...
Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend
DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom.
Emergency Medicine
Go skydiving to get the...
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...