Emergency Medicine

minding business

Public Health Concern: ‘Stop Minding Your Own Business’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference today the CDC announced that there is a resurgence in a seemingly incurable public health concern that...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
nurse crime scene

Tragedy at St. Mary’s Hospital as Nurse Tries to Eat Another Nurse

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ALBANY, NY – Police are currently on the scene at St. Mary’s Hospital as reports are streaming in regarding a story that is as...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
medical music festival

Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015

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INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for...
letter d

FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It

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ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...
chest pain rule out toy elephant

Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

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DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...
hospital workers

Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals.  The fact...

Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose

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ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....