New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent
ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
Retiring Soccer Star to Open Malingering Clinic for ED Drug Seekers
MUNICH, GERMANY - In a surprise announcement sure to shock both the soccer and medical world, German star midfielder, Michael Schmerzen, announced today his...
Super Mario in Critical Condition, Mistakes Deadly Amanita for 1-Up Mushroom
WORLD 7-2, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - Beloved Italian hero and plumber Super Mario is currently in critical condition at an area World 7-2 hospital after he...
Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’
Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head."
Known for years by co-workers...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
Radiology Reading Center Switching to Snapchat
VALHALLA, NY - The Valhalla Nighthawk Radiology Group recently announced its new partnership with Snapchat, the popular photo messaging application, to place itself ahead...
NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...