Emergency Medicine

Bow Tie-Wearing ER Intern Immediately Ostracized by Peers

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GREENVILLE, SC - An ER intern, Calvin McSpiffy, who showed up to work in a bow tie, has been immediately ostracized by his peers...

Hospital Employees Organize Christmas Strike After Festivus Snub

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NEW YORK, NY - Workers at the Newman Medical Center in Queens, NY have organized a Christmas Day strike after hospital administration failed to...
EM Doctor

Indecisive ER Doctor Still Hasn’t Chosen Specialty

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TAMPA, FL - Dr. Bradley Smith has done it all. As an expert in septic shock, trauma, and cardiac resuscitation, he has an impressive...
letter d

FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It

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ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...

Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity

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NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Waiting Room

Tired of Waiting, Patient Develops “Chest Pain” in ER

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ARLINGTON, VA – 32-year-old patient George Hightower rolled his ankle playing basketball this Saturday afternoon.  He went to the ER only after much persuasion from friends to...
gastroenterologist

GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department...

Super Mario in Critical Condition, Mistakes Deadly Amanita for 1-Up Mushroom

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WORLD 7-2, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - Beloved Italian hero and plumber Super Mario is currently in critical condition at an area World 7-2 hospital after he...
patient

Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada geriatric nursing facility run by neonatologist-turned-geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds, has begun...
Life Savers

True to Its Name: Life Savers Prevented 3 Million Deaths in 2017

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CLEVELAND, OH - A survey conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has gotten everyone's attention as it revealed that Life Savers hard...