skull fracture

Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral

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ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline...

ER Catchphrases Guaranteed to Get Consultants to Come into the ER

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LAS VEGAS, NV – Last Friday was the conclusion of the 18th annual meeting of the High-rolling Emergency Medicine Physicians (HEMP) association. Aside from...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
etoh levels

Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...

So Sad: Charcoal Inactivated, Made DNR

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Telling a palliative care team that it lived a long and fruitful life, a small pile of activated charcoal is asking...

Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor

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BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged.  Administrators may have found their answer...
Paramedics

Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again

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NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift.  One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...

Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”

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Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...