After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected
NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected. “We...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Medical Scribe Gets Doctor to Take Notes, Shifting the Balance of Power
AUGUSTA, GA - In a striking new development in the world of medical documentation, emergency room physician Arthur Gates admits to still being in a...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
Katy Perry Admits Her Song ‘Firework’ is Really About Fireworks Safety
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thinking of no better time than the Fourth of July to come out with the news, pop sensation Katy Perry...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning
NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...