Public Health Concern: ‘Stop Minding Your Own Business’
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference today the CDC announced that there is a resurgence in a seemingly incurable public health concern that...
Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume
HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...
Patient Leaves AMA to ‘Teach Them a Lesson!’
HARTFORD, CT - Local man Robert Smith recently posted a scathing rebuke of Hartford County Hospital's Emergency Department after an excruciating 3-hour wait in...
Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”
Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
EM Intern Kicked Out Of Residency For Completing Full Work-Up Of Patient Before Consulting...
“We absolutely will not tolerate this kind of behavior,” the irate Department of Emergency Medicine chairman began. “This isn’t like the old days when...
Tired of Waiting, Patient Develops “Chest Pain” in ER
ARLINGTON, VA – 32-year-old patient George Hightower rolled his ankle playing basketball this Saturday afternoon. He went to the ER only after much persuasion from friends to...
Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel...