Emergency Medicine

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Know Your Hospital Diets

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It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

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ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...

Local Trauma Centers Overwhelmed Following Mario Kart Pile Up on Rainbow Road

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MARIO CIRCUIT, WII - Nearby trauma centers struggled to effectively administer life-saving treatment to the victims of a gruesome pileup on Rainbow Road.  The accident resulted...
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Frequent Fliers Hired to Evaluate Emergency Medicine Residents

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ST. PAUL, MN - Responding to feedback that existing resident assessments were not properly evaluating the attendings of tomorrow in how they adapt to important...

Bronco Products Announces the New and Revolutionary Perco-Later

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RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. announces the recent FDA UL approved and patented Perco-later Percocet recovery device.  The Perco-later is a revolutionary new...
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Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...
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Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
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Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
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20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...