Updated 2016 Hospital Crash Cart Recommendations
ATLANTA, GA - The crash cart is indispensable during cardiopulmonary arrest. However, their contents are not standardized. In a much needed remedy to this...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Bow Tie-Wearing ER Intern Immediately Ostracized by Peers
GREENVILLE, SC - An ER intern, Calvin McSpiffy, who showed up to work in a bow tie, has been immediately ostracized by his peers...
Retiring Soccer Star to Open Malingering Clinic for ED Drug Seekers
MUNICH, GERMANY - In a surprise announcement sure to shock both the soccer and medical world, German star midfielder, Michael Schmerzen, announced today his...
Katy Perry Admits Her Song ‘Firework’ is Really About Fireworks Safety
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thinking of no better time than the Fourth of July to come out with the news, pop sensation Katy Perry...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom.
Emergency Medicine
Go skydiving to get the...
Extended Walk Test: Help Your Patients Discharge Themselves
TORONTO, ONTARIO - Dr. Thurow, veteran emergency physician at Tertiary Hospital has been credited with developing a revolutionary test that is redefining what it...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...