New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...
Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit
BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break! He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’
In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance
COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it...
Patient Leaves AMA to ‘Teach Them a Lesson!’
HARTFORD, CT - Local man Robert Smith recently posted a scathing rebuke of Hartford County Hospital's Emergency Department after an excruciating 3-hour wait in...
Emergency Physician’s Eyes Well Up at Sight of Empty Waiting Room
DES MOINES, IA - Staring in awe as the final patient was discharged home, local emergency physician Dave Stanfield’s eyes reportedly welled up at...