Emergency Medicine

Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”

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Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
paramedics in er

ER Techs Now to Carry Fanny Packs with More Stuff

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It's no secrets that in the ER if a nurse or doctor requires a piece of equipment that the tech is the one who...
doctors and nurses rate patients

Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation

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WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...

What Type of Emergency Room Patient Are You?

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Take this quiz to see how your local ER feels about you! 1. When I arrive to the Emergency Room: a. I have no idea what...
pulmonary fellow

Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume

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HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...
Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

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STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical." He confided...

Constipation is an Admitting Diagnosis Apparently

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NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital was horrified to find out the very troubling news that one of their...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...