Retiring Soccer Star to Open Malingering Clinic for ED Drug Seekers

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MUNICH, GERMANY - In a surprise announcement sure to shock both the soccer and medical world, German star midfielder, Michael Schmerzen, announced today his...
ed triage

Texting on Cell Phone During ED Triage Correlated with Improved Patient Outcomes

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CLEVELAND, OH - A recent multi-center observational trial involving several EDs in Cleveland have demonstrated that texting on one’s cell phone during an initial ED...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...

Updated 2015 ACLS Algorithm

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ACLS KEY BELOW: * Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays ** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR *** Product Review:...

The Similarities & Differences Between ED and ED

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Now that you can't say "ER" anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
cpr clear

ZDoggMD: Clear!

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We should petition CPR classes to just show ZDoggMD's video.  The excruciating 8 hour class could be summed up in 3 minutes.  Hands only...
single ply toilet paper

Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%

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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a...
73 miles per hour

Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...
rolling dice

Triage Nurse Rolls Dice to Determine Patient Priority Level‏

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Mercy Regional Hospital ER's newest RN Heidi Evans has been having a rough start to her career at the triage desk, where her job...