Saturday, January 2, 2021

Emergency Medicine

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...
hospital casino

Las Vegas Hospital Expands into Luxury Resort and Casino

LAS VEGAS, NV - In a bold new plan to increase hospital revenue streams, hospital administrators at Las Vegas Medical Center have teamed up with MGM Resorts International to expand and convert the Level II...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph Wong, senior obstetrician.  Dr. Wong and his colleagues have been...

Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent in emergency departments nationwide using the mobile app, DRUNKbnb. "It’s common...

Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in the condition known as hypodilaudidemia. Spokeswoman Dr. Penni Pinscher, DrPH addressed...
hospital administrator

Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...

BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting for allowing their patient satisfaction scores to "lag behind" the...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning, Santa was diagnosed with acute pulmonary embolism (PE) and bilateral...
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ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness

According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware of any other patients in the department. Dr. Hans Albright, an...