Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year. This year was diplopia. People were loving it. The people who weren’t falling down were absolutely loving it.”
Nurse Marlenas, who works at Nofun...
Super Mario in Critical Condition, Mistakes Deadly Amanita for 1-Up Mushroom
WORLD 7-2, MUSHROOM KINGDOM - Beloved Italian hero and plumber Super Mario is currently in critical condition at an area World 7-2 hospital after he mistakenly consumed a deadly Amanita mushroom during a routine quest...
Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media
Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain. He was not happy at all and felt his needs had...
Emergency Room Bingo!
Getting burned out working in the ED? Make sure to pull out your ED Bingo cards and play!
Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can be needlessly painful and even against the patient’s own wishes....
Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he expects to solve the nation's doctor shortage. This new law,...
Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel transit service for drug seekers designed to get them from...
North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
WASHINGTON, DC - The White House has announced that North Korea has successfully hacked yet another electronic staple of American life – the drug-dispensing Pyxis machines. Americans were recently outraged and appalled when Sony Pictures...
Mob Boss Agrees to Shoot Man in Kneecaps Before Weekend
CHICAGO, IL - "I swore off horse races for 10 years, but I relapsed," Sam Hemsworth told us from his wheelchair. "Before I knew it, I was in $40,000 deep with the mob again....
I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...