United Airlines Introduces Seats That Go Into Trendelenburg
CHICAGO, IL - Seeking new ways to remain controversial and constantly in the news, United Airlines has announced it is has replaced passenger seats...
FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
Extended Walk Test: Help Your Patients Discharge Themselves
TORONTO, ONTARIO - Dr. Thurow, veteran emergency physician at Tertiary Hospital has been credited with developing a revolutionary test that is redefining what it...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’
NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!" Don was passed over for hours...
Hospital Employees Organize Christmas Strike After Festivus Snub
NEW YORK, NY - Workers at the Newman Medical Center in Queens, NY have organized a Christmas Day strike after hospital administration failed to...
Non-Physician Hospitals, The WebMD and Wikipedia Clinic, to Open in 5 Major Cities
BOSTON, MA - In a response to rampant poor patient satisfaction scores and an overall demand of patients for more autonomy in their care,...
New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market
CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...
Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again
NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift. One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in...