Emergency Medicine

glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

0
ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...

ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers

5
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked.  Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

35
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
hospital credentialing

Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors

0
In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors. "It only makes sense," said...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

38
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

0
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
emergency physician

Emergency Medicine Attending Admits Patient Without Resident Assistance

0
Dr. Ellie Goodmedicine, an attending physician in the Department of Emergency Medicine at New York City Hospital, stunned the department’s residency program by admitting...
emergency department

New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit

20
BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes.  "We took functional...
woman gives up facebook

Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks

0
MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...