Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really
SANDERSVILLE, GA - Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two hours southwest of Atlanta, barely has any resources whatsoever and...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
Frustrated ED Doc ‘Goes Nuclear,’ Admits Patient to Administration
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing unprecedented obstruction getting his patient admitted to the hospital and decompressing his overburdened emergency department (ED), local ED physician, Dr....
Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR
JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...
Psychiatrist Joins WWE and Puts Opponent in a Mental Health Hold
LUBBOCK, TX – Finally fed up with all the bullying he was receiving from general surgeons, Dr. Froyd abandoned his post as Consultation-Liaison Psychiatrist...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest
DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...