Emergency Medicine

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...

High Patient Satisfaction Scores, Key Elements for Success

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Over 23,000 hospital patients were polled to help determine what factors are considered important for patients when it comes to their satisfaction at hospitals.  Knowing...

Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR

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SAN ANTONIO, TX -  Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
dyspnea

FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
rollercoaster

Local ED to Offer Six Flags-Inspired ‘Flash Passes’ to Skip Long Lines

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GRAIN VALLEY, MO – In an attempt to boost revenue and cut waiting times, a local Missouri emergency department is beta testing a program...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

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NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...
upset patients

Patient Leaves AMA to ‘Teach Them a Lesson!’

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HARTFORD, CT - Local man Robert Smith recently posted a scathing rebuke of Hartford County Hospital's Emergency Department after an excruciating 3-hour wait in...
minding business

Public Health Concern: ‘Stop Minding Your Own Business’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference today the CDC announced that there is a resurgence in a seemingly incurable public health concern that...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
Wikipedia medical search

Non-Physician Hospitals, The WebMD and Wikipedia Clinic, to Open in 5 Major Cities

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BOSTON, MA - In a response to rampant poor patient satisfaction scores and an overall demand of patients for more autonomy in their care,...