Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices. Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...
Major Hospitals Caught in Diabetes Scandal
SUGARVILLE, TX - The Hershey Memorial Hospital (HMH) has been cited in a nationwide investigation by the CDC.
The investigation is a result of patient complaints...
Therapeutic Hypothermia Ineffective in Patients with Hypothermia
LOUISVILLE, KY - Therapeutic hypothermia, the deliberate reduction of core body temperature to 32 to 34 degrees Celsius, was found to be ineffective and...
Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals
PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on. That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha...
ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out
NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...
All Caught Up with Game of Thrones, Local Man Finally Decides He Should Get...
ROANOKE, VA - Upon finishing Game of Thrones Season 3 at 2 AM, local man Charles Cerioli decided it would be a good time to visit...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and...