Emergency Medicine

cpr clear

ZDoggMD: Clear!

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We should petition CPR classes to just show ZDoggMD's video.  The excruciating 8 hour class could be summed up in 3 minutes.  Hands only...
nice patient endangered species

Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients

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HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018.  Argus...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

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CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...
DRUNKbnb

Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent...

PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia

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PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...

“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia

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Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year.  Hyperkalemia, which...

Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2

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IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Fireworks

Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th

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NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...

Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website

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BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...