Emergency Medicine

discharged patient

Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…

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ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home...
stray dart

So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next

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It happens all the time.  You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...
sh*tty consult

A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...

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1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really...
ativan diffuser

FDA Finally Approves The Ativan Diffuser for All Hospital Units

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a closely contested vote, the FDA approved a new medical delivery device this week, the H-Vape 86.  It is an Ativan...

Diagnostic Criteria for a ‘Train Wreck’ Patient

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How does one identify a train wreck?  GomerBlog polled 1,000,000 health care providers in the last 48 hours and the general consensus is that,...
nice patient endangered species

Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients

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HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018.  Argus...
intern physician worth it

EM Intern Kicked Out Of Residency For Completing Full Work-Up Of Patient Before Consulting...

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“We absolutely will not tolerate this kind of behavior,” the irate Department of Emergency Medicine chairman began. “This isn’t like the old days when...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

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Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....
Superman Kryptonite subclavian steal

Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List

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METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized...