Emergency Medicine

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
drama queen

A Patient Wins Oscar in the Category of Best Drama Queen

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Ms. Have It All, a frequent flyer at Lord Have Mercy Hospital, was going through a rollercoaster ride of emotions while receiving an Oscar...
upset EM doctor

Emergency Doctor Censured for Focusing on Patients’ Presenting Problems

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CHICAGO, IL – Dr. Fred Dulant, medical director for Giant Itsabusiness Healthcare, today announced a three-day suspension issued to recently-hired emergency medicine (EM) doctor...
end of life care

ZDoggMD: “Ain’t the Way to Die”

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End of life care.  We need to talk about it more... From ZDoggMD: "Need help breaking the ice?  Here’s Ain’t The Way To Die, based on the...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to...
Obese Guy with BMI Classification

BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”

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GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...
man eating and smoking

Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’

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CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...