Emergency Medicine

Ctrl+Alt+Del

Computer Resuscitated After 6 Rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del

0
NASHVILLE, TN - Gomerblog is happy to report that a code team at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) has successfully resuscitated an old nurses station computer...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

34
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

2
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

0
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

6
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
zdoggmd

‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis

0
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently.  Diagnosis: Butthurt.  That’s right, butthurt...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

0
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

45
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
hospital patient

21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals

94
Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients.  As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them.  We...