Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...
FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Cookie Monster in Critical Condition Due to Diabetic Complications
SESAME STREET - Children around the world awoke from sleepy-time to the stunning news that Cookie Monster is battling for his life in the intensive...
The Most Interesting Man in Medicine
He was admitted to school with a simple nod and a smile.
As a student, his attending would ask him for advice.
The lead surgeon assists...
21 Tips for Patients on How to Be Good Patients: From Health Care Professionals
Ok, it is time to be brutally honest to our patients. As health care professionals, we want to take amazing care of them. We...
ER Techs Now to Carry Fanny Packs with More Stuff
It's no secrets that in the ER if a nurse or doctor requires a piece of equipment that the tech is the one who...
No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent
ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is...
Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks
COLUMBUS, OH - In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...