Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line
CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
ABSTRACT
Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients.
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FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%
SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game. In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...