Emergency Medicine

sick patient

Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns

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BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
frustrated physician

14 More Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician‏

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If the advice given to you on the previous list of 15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician was not sufficient to achieve...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
injection

New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market

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CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...

Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”

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Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...
rollercoaster

Local ED to Offer Six Flags-Inspired ‘Flash Passes’ to Skip Long Lines

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GRAIN VALLEY, MO – In an attempt to boost revenue and cut waiting times, a local Missouri emergency department is beta testing a program...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

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CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...

Effort in Safety: Nurse Requests Patient’s Identification 150 Times in 1 Shift

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Tracy Painter, RN, BSN, now holds a national record.  In the course of one ER shift, she asked the same...
radiologist running

Radiologist Clocks Sub 4-Second 40-Yard Time During a Code Blue

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ATLANTA, GA - A new record was achieved yesterday afternoon as Dr. Ken Willingham, a radiologist at Gotta Have Faith Hospital, clocked a 3.98...
matt lauer er switch

ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out

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NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...