Emergency Medicine

obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
sh*tty consult

A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...

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1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
crazy ICD-10 diagnosis

‘Crazy’ Added to ICD-10, Right Next to ‘Dr. Oz Says’ Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Clinicians around the country were happy to learn that "Crazy" has been added to the upcoming ICD-10 codes, a most recent...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

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British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...

ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance

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COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it...
celebration

100th ER Patient Leaves AMA, Celebratory Luncheon to Be Held

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MOUNT CARMEL, NY - Congratulations to the staff of Mount Carmel ER!!  Please join us for a celebratory luncheon today at 1pm in the...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...
Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan

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MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of...

MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients

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SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...