Emergency Medicine

Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain

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LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain.  This emergency pain...
injection

New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market

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CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...
radiologist running

Radiologist Clocks Sub 4-Second 40-Yard Time During a Code Blue

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ATLANTA, GA - A new record was achieved yesterday afternoon as Dr. Ken Willingham, a radiologist at Gotta Have Faith Hospital, clocked a 3.98...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...

ER Doctor Lost in Space-Time Continuum After Switching From Day Shifts to Nights Then...

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In an unfortunate event last month Dr. Emmert Gencey, a new 29-year-old ER doc, became lost in the space-time continuum for...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours...
dog vet clinic

Area Dog Vomits, Directed to Human ER by Veterinary Clinic on Friday Afternoon

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FAIRFAX, VA - Rusty, a local 4-year-old labrador retriever who had a few episodes of vomiting, was sent to the emergency department last Friday...

So Sad: Charcoal Inactivated, Made DNR

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Telling a palliative care team that it lived a long and fruitful life, a small pile of activated charcoal is asking...
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...