red blood cells

Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!

0
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin. "I see that...
nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

0
CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
gondola

So You Develop Chest Pain on a Gondola, What to Do Next

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How much do you hate this scenario?  You're taking a lovely ride on your gondola when it happens: substernal 10 out of 10 chest...
hoverboard injuries

After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED

0
Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history.  Thousands of men,...
turkey in code cart

Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale

71
SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan....
emergency room

Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...

32
DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER...
Rheumatology

Twitter Unveils New Electronic Medical Record, Tweet-MR

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Twitter announced today that it would enter the business of electronic medical records, or EMRs. Twitter CEO and founder Jack...
cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

19
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

2
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
cpr clear

ZDoggMD: Clear!

10
We should petition CPR classes to just show ZDoggMD's video.  The excruciating 8 hour class could be summed up in 3 minutes.  Hands only...