Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact
ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...
Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever
PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website
BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...
Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th
NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...
Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock
MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin...
ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...
Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets
GRINDELWALD, SWITZERLAND - A quaint Swiss town is experiencing the first wave of what is sure to be an epic boom in tourism this...