Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked. Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...
ER Doc Sent to Penalty Box, Gets 5 Minutes for Boarding
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Just when things in the emergency room (ER) couldn't get any worse with influenza A in full swing, all 435 beds...
Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt
BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out. This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...
JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!
Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app...