‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Patient Learns She Can Come to ER Without Calling an Ambulance
LEXINGTON, KY - Sarah Johnson was recently seen at County Hospital's Emergency Department for the fourteenth time this year for an itchy rash on...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital
When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience...
Code Blue Also Code Brown
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
Public Health Concern: ‘Stop Minding Your Own Business’
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference today the CDC announced that there is a resurgence in a seemingly incurable public health concern that...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Baby Yoda Memes Improve Patient Compliance
In what started as a joke by the senior emergency medicine residents at Hospital Woeisme, Baby Yoda memes posted around the ED have had...
Hospital Replaces Crash Carts with Snack Carts
MARIETTA, GA – Goodbye defibrillators and hello Swedish Fish! In a rare display of unity, hospital administrators and health care personnel at Marietta Medical...