Emergency Medicine

COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack

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NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief...
malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
monkeys jumping on the bed

After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’

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BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down.  "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

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PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
upset EM doctor

Emergency Doctor Censured for Focusing on Patients’ Presenting Problems

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CHICAGO, IL – Dr. Fred Dulant, medical director for Giant Itsabusiness Healthcare, today announced a three-day suspension issued to recently-hired emergency medicine (EM) doctor...
voice recognition

New Voice Recognition Software ‘Dragroan’ to Dictate Physicians’ Exasperated Groans & Sighs

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Speech recognition software company Dragon, used by doctors and other professionals worldwide for transcription, announced the launch of a new...