medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

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BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and...

ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead

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ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...
ehr

EHR team regrets letting clinicians vote on project name as BONER upgrade goes live

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Multiple Electronic Health Systems consultants expressed regret Monday over a poorly conceived plan to allow clinicians to vote on their system's project name as...
limited-edition discharge summary vinyl

Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl

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NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be...
paper airplane, paperwork

Stack of Paperwork Transforms into Fleet of Paper Planes

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CHICAGO, IL - Internist Jenny Richardson sat down at her clinic desk this morning to find an undesirable stack of paperwork (you know the...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

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ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...

Epic announces new “Jesus Take the Wheel” feature

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VERONA, WI - Citing demand from overwhelmed physicians, Epic spokesperson Kaitlynn Mulligan announced the enterprise electronic health record software’s newest feature: Jesus Take the...
audible sighs world record world-record

Breaking: ABIM Requires Daily Recertification

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a move that will most certainly not be received well by the medical community, the American Board of Internal Medicine...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

In the Name of Patient Satisfaction, IV Pumps Fitted with WiFi

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BOSTON, MA - As much as they don’t want to admit it, health care professionals have succumbed to the reality of patient satisfaction surveys...