blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

3
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair. “Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

50
LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the fiscal year’s first perfect note. The southpaw orthopedic surgeon not...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

79
Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of a two-part series, our GomerBlog translators will help break down...
cyborg emr

Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware

0
"And just like that, the world burned."  Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was reviewing what appeared to be a large stack of useless...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

0
GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on their blood bank to “regulate their blood products more efficiently.”...

Medicine Consulted for History and Physical

5
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in."  At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the on again off again relationship with Internal Medicine to a...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

0
ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his patient's history and physical (H&P) at home.  Here is the infamous dictation excerpt...
ICD-10

ICD-10 Already Being Updated to ICD-10.2 in 2014

2
WASHINGTON, DC - The much anticipated ICD-10 implementation in October 2014 will have new competition.  Even before the official release of ICD-10, the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) is...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

34
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or not, I’m recommending a multivitamin. OB/GYN Translation: Not another pelvic exam for...
aliens running emr

Ancient Aliens Take Over Electronic Medical Records

0
GROOM LAKE, NV - Why does your electronic medical record (EMR) function sooooo poorly?  Are ignorance, negligence, and terrible design the answer?  Can intrusive government meddling and the general forces of chaos really explain the...