Internal Medicine

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
attending thinks he is funny

Attending Shocked to Learn He’s Not Actually Funny

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TACOMA, WA - Dr. Gerald Wood, the Chief of Rheumatology at St. Johns, was stunned to learn this morning that he is not objectively...
therapy dog

Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs

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RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs,...
Milky Way lactose intolerance

NASA Diagnoses Milky Way Galaxy with Lactose Intolerance

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HOUSTON, TX - If you ever thought that our solar system has a funky smell but could never figure out what it was, you're...

Breaking: Patient with Paper Cut Made DNR

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MIAMI, FL - Telling her patient that death is imminent in these situations, a palliative care nurse practitioner has made his 24-year-old healthy patient...
happy hour for health care workers

Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees

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BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of...
davinci robot

COVID-19 Breakthrough: Redeployed Da Vinci Can Swab One Patient Per Day

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BOSTON, MA - In what is already considered the biggest breakthrough against COVID-19 in the United States, surgeons report that Da Vinci robots have...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m....
colonoscopy

Pushing the Limits: GI Passes Colonoscope from Anus to Mouth

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NEW YORK, NY - In a story illustrating the importance of persistence and perseverance, Dr. Matthew Bryan of Mount Sinai Hospital made history today...