Internal Medicine

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
feeding tube

Resident Tries G-Tube Feeds: ‘Really Not That Bad’

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NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
sun downing

On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning

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NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I...
code placement

Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape

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AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical...
plywood spool

Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool

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ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to...
cryptocurrency meningitis

Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis

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ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...

Nation’s Arteries Brace for Impact of Chipotle’s New Queso

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SACRAMENTO, CA – Speaking at a press conference last Saturday, a local left renal artery expressed “grave concern” amongst itself and the billions of...

Breaking News: Scientists Almost Know What the ‘V’ in COVID Stands For

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TULSA, OK- In a major update in the race for a vaccine for COVID-19, we have learned of a promising development from the scientific...

General Practitioner Pilots Rewards Program for Chronic Patients

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SEATTLE, WA - Dr. Samuel Sheepman, a general practitioner at Wortley Medical Clinic, has created a new frequent flyer rewards program for chronic illness...