Internal Medicine

Breaking: Patient with Paper Cut Made DNR

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MIAMI, FL - Telling her patient that death is imminent in these situations, a palliative care nurse practitioner has made his 24-year-old healthy patient...
fecal transplant recipient

Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video

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BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye...
hipster beard super bacteria

Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard

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WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...
pain in elbow

A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale

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The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management.  A new scale has been devolved...
doctor updating

Neurology Avoids Disaster Admission, Admits to Medicine

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HAMPTON, CA - Kaiser Health Hospital had a close call this Wednesday.  Thanks to the diligent efforts of Dr. Trevenstein, a neurology attending at Mercy...
amoeba

Single-Celled Organism Caught Masquerading as VA ICU Nurse

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DAVENPORT, IA – A recent press release from the local VA hospital announced that a single celled organism had disguised itself as an ICU...
champagne tap cava

Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon

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BOSTON, MA - An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of...
elderly lady

Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self

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In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained...
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...