Internal Medicine

health care

Hospitalist Breaks His Own Record by Seeing 100 Patients in a Day

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Dr. Speedy Gonzalez didn’t realize untill he counted the number of patients at the end of a busy Saturday evening that he had broken...
zika virus

CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - During a landmark press conference yesterday afternoon, CDC Chief Epidemiologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram implored mosquitos to wear small condoms during intercourse in...
crying hospital

Will I Cry During This Admission?

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The hospital can be a scary place, even to frequent fliers.  With so much uncertainty about what to expect, it would be nice to...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Supply of ICD-10 Codes for COVID-19 “Dangerously Low”

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when the situation couldn't get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease...
smoking VA patient

VA Patient Breaks Record, Quits Smoking 365 Times In One Year

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BOSTON, MA - Joe Kamel, a 69-year-old veteran, has made his way into the Guinness Book of World Records. The Vietnam War veteran had...
santa electronic record

Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime

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“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen.  “It has never taken me so long to...

Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free

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GALVESTON, TX – Charles Wilson is a typical pulmonary/critical care fellow who spends 130 hours a week at the hospital (officially 80), which totals $6.10 an...
ICD-10 codes

ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 5: WTF Codes

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Now that we’re a few lessons in, you must be wondering the same thing: What about those ICD-10 codes that are ludicrous?  Whereas the...
pine bark extract

Doctor Holds Patient’s Pine Bark Extract, Family Furious

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KEARNEY, NE - In what can only described as a sh*tstorm, the family of 84-year-old Edward Dwindles expressed their furor when they found out that...

Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

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The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...