Neurologist Wondering Where She Put Her Tuning Spoon & Tuning Knife
DURHAM, NC - This past November, neurologist Adrianna Phelps was forced to improvise and use a tuning fork to eat her Caesar salad. Ever...
Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need
LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending...
Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’
Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found. The work in the...
99% of Health Care Practitioners Have a Troponin Leak at Work
NEW YORK, NY - Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and,...
Doctor Signs Out Against Patient Advice
HELENA, MT—Dr. Otto Hare, the on-call physician last night at Helena Health Center, apparently decided to leave the hospital mid-shift—in the midst of admitting...
Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient
CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...