Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE
CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
ICU Physician Unveils New Self-Extubation Order Set
AUGUSTA, ME - An ICU physician in Augusta, Maine is now using a self-extubation order set. “It is a beautiful concept, really,” gushes ICU...
National Arthritic Society Lobbies for Climate Change
WASHINGTON, DC – The Koch Brothers and the National Arthritic Society (NAS) have teamed up to encourage global warming. It all started in the Land...
Gomerblog Inspires Emergency Medicine Residents to Solve COVID-19 Mask Shortage Crisis
PROVIDENCE, RI - Due to mask shortages reported across the country, hospital staff at prominent New England hospitals have been asked to conserve normally...
Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...
Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body
THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully...
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...
Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread
GREENEVILLE, TN - St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot...
Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...