Internal Medicine

New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination

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DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
stethoscope

Anatomy of a Contact Precaution Stethoscope

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We all love those contact precaution fancy expensive stethoscopes.  We always wondered why patients on contact precautions never had murmurs discovered.  Here at GomerBlog...
Mr. Peanut

Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...

Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones

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In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
childhood obesity

China now referring to Type 2 Diabetes as ‘The American Disease”

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China has taken the brunt of the blame for the COVID-19 pandemic, both as the source of the virus, and for the scarcity of...

Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo

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  Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Cons /...
blood sugar rises after Halloween

Overnight News: Nation Has 107 Point Average Rise in Blood Sugars After Halloween

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, reported that the nation’s average blood glucose level rose over 107 points per human last...
moonupping sundowning

Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...
pathology tumor board

Pathology Resident Makes Up Disease at Tumor Board, Groundbreaking Discovery

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CHICAGO, IL - A second-year pathology resident, Dr. Daniel Platt, is being credited with discovering a new tumor following a presentation at his hospital's tumor...