Internal Medicine

surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

0
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...

Eastern Medicine Inspired Stroke Protocol Saves Millions in Health Care Costs, Improves Patient Satisfaction...

2
PORTLAND, OR - A cerebral vascular accident, commonly known as a stroke, is a devastating diagnosis that frequently results in long-term disability and death.  Many...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

0
Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud...
drinking coffee

Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results

57
SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens...
standardized patient

Breaking: Standardized Patient Leaves AMA

0
TALLAHASSEE, FL - Standardized patient Lily Huron has left against medical advice (AMA) once she game to grips that none of these medical students...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

28
DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
pulmonary team

Pulmonary Team Hypoxic After Climbing Seven Flights of Stairs

0
NEW YORK, NY - A pulmonary team at New York Medical Center (NYMC) narrowly avoided an overnight ICU stay for BIPAP or ventilator support...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

1
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...