Internal Medicine

anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
health record on post it notes

Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes

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AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above

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AUBURN, AL - “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as she read over her intern’s progress note.  “This is terrible....

Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait.  ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today.  ZDogg...

Doctor Returns Borrowed Pen

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On rounds today in the surgical ICU, a heretofore-unseen humanitarian act was performed: an attending physician borrowed a pen from the medical student, then...

Staff Not a Fan of New Antisocial Worker

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PASADENA, CA - Medical staff have told GomerBlog early this morning that they are not a big fan of new antisocial worker, Timothy Pyro,...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...
telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...

Maker of EKG Pads Now Recommends 230-Lead EKGs for Patients

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FRIDLEY, MN - New studies are demonstrating that the more EKG leads a patient has, the more accurate the EKG is.  Previously, only 12...
single ply toilet paper

Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%

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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a...