Cardiologist Names Newborn Daughter Lub Dub
ATLANTA, GA - After much deliberation but with much excitement, cardiologist Randy Duckett has announced that he and his wife have chosen a name...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries
DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...
ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus
For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...
That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray
North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical...
Breaking: Numerical BMI to be Replaced by Pass/Fail
Atlanta, Georgia - In a surprise announcement that has stunned medical professionals across the country, the Centers for Disease Control has announced that BMI...
New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base
NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
An Internist’s Guide to Ophtho Abbreviations
Ophthalmology has so many alien abbreviations, it's like they have their own specialty. Thanks to the recent discovery of a missing piece of the...