VA Patient Breaks Record, Quits Smoking 365 Times In One Year
BOSTON, MA - Joe Kamel, a 69-year-old veteran, has made his way into the Guinness Book of World Records. The Vietnam War veteran had...
Greek Hero Achilles: ‘Help! Can I Get a Podiatrist, STAT?!’
ANCIENT TROY - Gomerblog has just learned that Achilles, the Greek hero who cemented his status by slaying Hector during the Trojan War, has just...
Cardiologist Names Newborn Daughter Lub Dub
ATLANTA, GA - After much deliberation but with much excitement, cardiologist Randy Duckett has announced that he and his wife have chosen a name...
The Joint Commission, Useless in the Time of COVID, to Mandate N95 Timers
The Joint Commission’s executive team, fresh off a socially-distanced golf retreat at Pebble Beach, reiterated its commitment to patient safety and unreimbursed hospital spending...
German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums
Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...
Local Hospital Sponsors 5K Fun Run to Raise Awareness About Iatrogenic Injury
HAVRE DE GRACE, MD - After noticing several readmissions for falls, double-digit INRs, and recurrent nonischemic chest pain, hospitalists at Harford Memorial Hospital realized that...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...
The Difference Between a Medicine Service and a Garbage Dump
Today we explore a new set of entities that often get mistaken for one another: a garbage dump and a medicine service. Let's begin!!!
A...
Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van
PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday. A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...
Life, Liberty, and Opioid Pain Medicine: Lost Version of Declaration of Independence Unearthed
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - Archaeologist and historian Dusty Bookman announced on Thursday that he unearthed a lost draft of the Declaration of Independence among Thomas Jefferson’s...