Internal Medicine

shoulder pain

Direct link established between pandemic and chronic pain relief

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During the worldwide pandemic of 2020 the US there have been unprecedented numbers of patients who have had their intractable, chronic pain conditions cured. Dr....
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...

Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
barrage pages

Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs

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YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the...
residents

Costco to Offer Family Medicine Residency at Stores Nationwide

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ISSAQUAH, WA - In an effort to expand services to include comprehensive health care, wholesale giant Costco recently announced plans to allow customers to...
hospital

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

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Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public...
Mexican food

Chipotle States Burritos Made with Responsibly Raised E. Coli

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SEATTLE, WA - After shutting down 43 locations in the states of Washington and Oregon due to dozens of people being hospitalized for infections by...

FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...