Internal Medicine

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an...
rash, maculopapular

Dermatologist’s Ears Bleed While Internist Describes Rash

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NEW YORK, NY - Dermatologist Felicia Randolph was fielding a consult from an internal medicine colleague Martin Ortiz, when halfway through the horrid attempt...
angry patient

Physicians can now legally ghost patients

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New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much...
nursing home accident

Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident

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BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...

Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine

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MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...

New York Outlaws MRSA

20
ALBANY, NY - New York legislators recently passed a new law that outlaws MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staph aureus) in the state of New York.  This...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Tired of Its Advice Being Ignored, CDC Kicks America Out of Its Practice

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ATLANTA, GA—Frustrated that no one is listening to their Covid-19 recommendations, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that it had...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Life Savers

True to Its Name: Life Savers Prevented 3 Million Deaths in 2017

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CLEVELAND, OH - A survey conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has gotten everyone's attention as it revealed that Life Savers hard...