Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum
ATLANTA, GA - “Well, this is very embarrassing,” explained pulmonary & critical care fellow Eric Jennings to his colleagues on morning rounds, as he...
Recurrent Lice Outbreaks Have ID Specialists Scratching Their Heads
“This has to be the worst year we’ve ever seen for headlice,” Dr. Raj Sasikumar said, digging the nails of his left hand into...
What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...
The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Carbapenem-Resistant Enterobacteriacae Strain Develops Resistance To Bullets, Fire
LOS ANGELES, CA - Public health officials are warning of the emergence of a new strain of bacteria demonstrating an unusual resistance pattern. The warning...
Honesty FTW! Physician Signs Note “Thanks for the Sh*tty Consult”
BOSTON, MA - Making no attempt to hide his obvious displeasure in what was a "late" and "totally bogus" consult, infectious diseases fellow Luke...
Ketchup Packet in Random Clinic Drawer Turns 5 Years Old Today
NEW YORK, NY - And a Happy Fifth Birthday today to the 9-gram Heinz Ketchup packet located in a random desk drawer in some...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...