Internal Medicine

Bicyclist Doctor Dons Scrubs Plastered with Advertising and Sexy Cute Buttpads

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Dr. Javier Dorfmann has perennially unfulfilled fantasies about competing in the Tour de France.  Just starting his second year of internal medicine residency at...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs

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ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so!  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
allergies

Today’s Allerlogical Forecast

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Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries?  If so, there are likely peanuts in your future.  But you won't even touch them, because...

Intern Excited to Take Care of Cobra Kai, Because They Never Die

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Herb Swanson has started his internship year off on a bad foot.  "I had 3 patients die on me in...

OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked

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KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to...

Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions

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WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18.  (Click...
stethoscope fairy

Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow

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ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to...
confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native,...
hospital lies

New Hospital Policy Aims to Punish Patients for Lying

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ORLANDO, FL – Have you ever been a victim of a lying patient, such as someone who lies about the intensity of their pain...

Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged

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UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary.  The patient,...