Healthcare Professionals Sweep Medals In All Olympic Mouse-Clicking Events
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Healthcare professionals' historic dominance of Olympic mouse-clicking events has continued as competition nears completion. Doctors, nurses, physician's assistants, respiratory...
In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...
ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised...
With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still ‘Feeling the Bern’ to...
ATLANTA, GA – Following the announcement from the Sanders campaign that he has officially withdrawn his candidacy from the 2016 Democratic Presidential Primary Race,...
Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...
DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...
Hospital Replaces Graham Crackers with Cardboard, Nobody Notices
SAVANNAH, GA - In a new initiative to cut costs, Coastal Hospital CEO Will Slash revealed he swapped out baked cardboard for graham crackers...
Forrest Gump Still in Rhabdo 30 Years After Epic Cross-Country Run
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Though it has been three decades since his historic three-and-a-half year cross-country run brought him national attention, Birmingham Medical Center (BMC)...
Elderly Man Admitted with MI Requests Pediatrics Consult
ORLANDO, FL—Bobby Kidman, an elderly man admitted to the hospital today with a suspected myocardial infarction bizarrely rejected a cardiology consultation and instead requested...
After Rapid Response, Hospital Administration Organizes Rapid Satisfaction Team
Mr. Cheapest Executive Officer at Lord Have Mercy Hospital is one serious CEO who is always concerned about addressing all the whims of the...
Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did
EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
Hospital to Replace Clipboard Nurses with iPad Nurses
SEATTLE, WA - Greater Seattle Memorial Hospital announced plans earlier today to replace its clipboard nurses with iPad nurses. Specifically, senior-level nursing personnel who...