CDC Announces Mandatory Journal Club on Vaccines for All Americans
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control announced in a press release today that they would be holding a mandatory journal club about vaccines....
Multidrug Resistant Superbug Susceptible Only to Brussel Sprouts
KANSAS CITY, KS - Dr. Carlos Johnson was anxiously awaiting antibiotic susceptibility testing on his 70-year-old ICU patient with pneumonia and septic shock. The...
Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!
The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients.
An objective rating...
Yawning: America’s New Epidemic
YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas. Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but...
Things You Should Know About Martin Shkreli
CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli raised the price of Daraprim, a drug used in the treatment of toxoplasmosis, from $13.50 to $750 per...
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...
MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths
Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU.
There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
Gastroenterologist Explains Coffee-Pooping Connection
POOPOO, HI - The link between morning coffee consumption and bowel movements has been well known throughout history. Even medieval Starbucks had chamber pots for...
Watching Cable News Raises Blood Pressure Better than Levophed, Study Finds
It is common knowledge that watching your Grandpa getting riled up night after night watching cable news opinion hosts rant and rave about their...