Internal Medicine

pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
printer

ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine

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WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing.  Instead, all 4th-year medical students...
dog vaccine

Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified

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HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true.  Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism.  The news came following a monumental...
patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Unchartered Territory: Doctor Makes Patient NPO After Discharge

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DURHAM, NC - Stating that the outside world contains enough variables to make pulmonary aspiration a true and serious risk, hospitalist Mack Reynolds has...

Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door

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HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office.  Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on...

Valvoline Instant Oil Change to offer drive-through dialysis service

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LEXINGTON, KY – In a surprise announcement this morning, a spokesperson for Ashland, Inc – the parent company of Valvoline Instant Oil Change (VIOC)...

Dr. Oz’s Show Set to Return After Study Says His Advice Will Only Kill...

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NEW YORK, NY—Dr. Oz’s self-titled talk show, which sadly has been on hiatus due to the coronavirus pandemic, is set to resume tapings immediately...
donuts, doughnuts

Breaking: Donuts Spotted in Break Room, Two Boxes!

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KANSAS CITY, MO - HURRY, HEAD TO 5 WEST!!!  In breaking news reaching GomerBlog just minutes ago, there is one... no, scratch that, two...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

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Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...
morgue

Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”

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CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...