Internal Medicine

angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

0
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

Hospital Rat Mistaken for Pokémon

0
CHICAGO, IL - Northwestern University Hospital had a false alarm Saturday, where several employees mistook a hospital rat for a rare Pokémon.  "I was...

EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used

0
Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...

BREAKING: Kim Jong-un Not Quite as Dead as His Surgeon Will Soon Be

0
Pyongyang, North Korea - Reports have been coming out that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's health is in grave danger after a cardiac...

Rodgers: Ryan Braun Was Confused About How HGH Works

0
GREEN BAY, WI - Ryan Braun, left fielder for the Milwaukee Brewers, admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs on July 22.  Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rodgers...

Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot

16
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot.  The irony is found in contracting a...
tangent

Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines

0
ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to...

Disaster Strikes After Intern Accidentally Orders Bowel ‘Regiment’

0
The world was stunned yesterday by events at County Hospital.  Mr. Brown, an 88-year-old man with dementia, had been admitted with altered mental status...
bacteria

Put A Little Haart in It

0
My mother, a biology teacher, turned me onto infectious diseases (ID) when I was just a prezcobix youngster, feeding me documentaries on parasites and...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

0
NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...