Internal Medicine

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General

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ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or...
pharmacist

Pharmacists Reassure Worried Public They’ll Never Run Out of GoLytely

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BRAINTREE, MA—From antibiotics to analgesics and anesthetics to ACLS drugs, there is an underreported epidemic of drug shortages in America. With over 140 vital...
patient satisfaction

New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients

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DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its...
drinking pumpkin

It’s Time for a Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Bowel Prep

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BOCA RATON, FL - Gomerblog has learned that Madre De Díos Hospital Chief Gastroenterologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibankaram plans to capitalize on the pumpkin flavor craze by...
cpr

Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...

Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: ‘See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak...

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NIKKO, JAPAN - For the first time in centuries, the three wise monkeys have spoken.  In an exclusive and brief statement to GomerBlog, the...
palliative care hot streak 35th straight patient

On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...
tuck patient

Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home

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PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or...

Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence

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MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz.  Due to...
therapy dog

Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs

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RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs,...