Internal Medicine

Brand New Futile Care Fellowship Created

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BOARDMAN, OH - St. Margaret Medical Center released news Thursday that a new cutting-edge fellowship training program would start. Dr. Peg Trachenline couldn’t hide her...

Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201

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Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble...

BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist

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Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
MRI scanner claustrophobia

Cooped Up MRI Machine Requests Ativan for Claustrophobia

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LOS ANGELES, CA - An MRI scanner that has been cooped up in the radiology department at Olive View-UCLA Medical Center for the past...
unicorns

Internal Medicine Certification Exam to Test Fewer Zebras, More Unicorns

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – The American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) has just announced a shift in curriculum focus for the Internal Medicine Certification Exam...

National Spelling Bee Update: All 291 Kids Eliminated After Failing to Spell ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - For the first time in the history of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, all 291 of the country's best young spellers...
Hospicillin

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

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BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...