Recurrent Lice Outbreaks Have ID Specialists Scratching Their Heads
“This has to be the worst year we’ve ever seen for headlice,” Dr. Raj Sasikumar said, digging the nails of his left hand into...
In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb
NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float
The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
The Curious Case of a Patient Demanding a Controlled-Substance Prescription
ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a shocking case report of a patient who rudely demanded that his physician issue...
HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good...
Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry. But thanks to a new...
Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence
MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz. Due to...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...