Allergy-Sniffing Dog Weeds Out Dilaudid-Seeking Liars
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - Rollda-Dice Hospital's ED now sees an extra fifty patients a day since adding an allergy-sniffing dog to its staff.
Danny the...
Wildly-Inaccurate Operative Note Inspires New Approach to Gastric Bypass
Gastrointestinal surgeon Perry Rush discovered a wildly-inaccurate post operative note in a patient chart last month that has become inspiration for a radical new...
Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19
CHICAGO, IL - The NBA suspended its season when its first player tested positive for COVID. American public schools closed when its first...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...
CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has identified a new insect vector that is rampantly spreading disease in the southern portions...
ID Fellow Demanding CME Reimbursement for Anthrax Concert Ticket
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Michael Dante, a first-year infectious diseases (ID) fellow at Bellevue Hospital has recently received devastating news from the Continuing...
Respiratory Techs, Dietitians Enraged Over New Policy Allowing Janitors to Wear White Coats
PORTLAND, OR - A new policy has caused a controversy at a local hospital, with multiple departments banding together against the measure which now allows...