New Vaccination Campaign Seeks to Eradicate Anti-Vax Movement by 2030
WASHINGTON, DC—Jenny McCarthy, once famous for a spread of nude photos in Playboy and now for causing the spread of measles in the US,...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...
Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…
ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home...
Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
Radiologist Misses Right Lower Lobe Pokémon on Chest X-Ray
IOWA CITY, IA – Reports from the radiology reading room at Mercy Hospital indicate that veteran radiologist, John Hoskins, completely missed a Pokémon in...
Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected
NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected. “We...
Do You Know the Laws of Australian Rules Medicine?
Australian rules medicine is a fast-paced form of health care delivery that combines diagnosis, treatment, athleticism, and physical toughness. Most Americans are unfamiliar with...
The Difference Between a Medicine Service and a Garbage Dump
Today we explore a new set of entities that often get mistaken for one another: a garbage dump and a medicine service. Let's begin!!!
A...
Weakened HIV No Longer Worthy of Own Chapter in Medical Textbook
BETHESDA, MD—HIV, the AIDS-causing single-stranded RNA retrovirus that was once universally feared, has become so much easier to control over the last couple of...
NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant
BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...