The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm…...
Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room
British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
COVID-19 Update: Palliative Care Makes U.S. DNR
ATLANTA, GA - Accepting that COVID-19 is progressing despite all of our best efforts, Palliative has been consulted and has officially made the United...
Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already
EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
Coroner Cause of Death: ‘Physical Therapy Note Missing Date and Time’
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - GomerBlog regretfully reports on a hospital death that could have been saved if the physical therapy note was dated and timed...
Another Doctor is Paged to Death
NEW YORK, NY - New York Medical Center (NYMC) is in mourning as they learned of the death of beloved internal medicine physician Amy...
Patient Admits That Her Cardiologist’s Bloody Skull & Crossbones Tattoo is Making Her a...
ROCHESTER, MN - "Look, I know he's a world-renowned cardiologist, but call me crazy, I'm having a few reservations." That's what patient Vera Brown...
Amazing Respiratory Therapist Performs ABG with One Hand, Drinks Coffee with Other
ATLANTA, GA - In a dazzling display of true skill, Georgia Medical Center respiratory therapist (RT) Chris Gilbert not only managed to obtain an...
Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores
PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”
BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach. "I've always thought Colon was an...