Internal Medicine

PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia

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PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
Milky Way lactose intolerance

NASA Diagnoses Milky Way Galaxy with Lactose Intolerance

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HOUSTON, TX - If you ever thought that our solar system has a funky smell but could never figure out what it was, you're...

Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!

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Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...

The Michael Jordan of Interns Retires After Curing His 6th Patient

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CLEVELAND, OH - We all know Dr. Mark Jeffries by now.  He is the Michael Jordan of interns.  Setting records by storm, Jeffries has set the...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...
blank script

ZDoggMD: Blank Script

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Check out ZDoggMD's "Blank Script" rendition of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space."  Doctor shopping is alive and well and physicians watch out, Yelp is here!...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...

10 Exciting Real Pages to Get, Especially at 2 AM

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1. Patient reporting 10/10 pain, wants stronger meds after his nap. 2. Patient’s butt is itchy.  Please advise. 3. Hi doc, pt has BP 127/61, HR...
allergies

Today’s Allerlogical Forecast

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Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries?  If so, there are likely peanuts in your future.  But you won't even touch them, because...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...