Internal Medicine

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

Standardized Patient Suing Medical School After No One Detected Prostate Cancer

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TAMPA BAY, FL - 56-year-old Michael Finnerly has been volunteering his services to the local medical school's standardized patient program for several years.  Last week he was...
paper airplane, paperwork

Stack of Paperwork Transforms into Fleet of Paper Planes

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CHICAGO, IL - Internist Jenny Richardson sat down at her clinic desk this morning to find an undesirable stack of paperwork (you know the...
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...
BLS online

New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives

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PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory...

Valvoline Instant Oil Change to offer drive-through dialysis service

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LEXINGTON, KY – In a surprise announcement this morning, a spokesperson for Ashland, Inc – the parent company of Valvoline Instant Oil Change (VIOC)...
Purell Foaming Body Sanitizer life-sized

Purell Releases New Life-Sized Foaming Body Sanitizer

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AKRON, OH - Realizing that clean hands was the tip of the iceberg, GOJO Industries, Inc. have announced their biggest and baddest Purell product yet:...

This Day in Medical History: ECG of the Day Toilet Paper Invented

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1985 - Have you always wondered how ECG of the Day Toilet Paper came to be in the first...

Patient’s Chronic Back Pain Due to Carrying MRI Report to Appointments

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TULSA, OK - Mimi Goodburger has had low back pain for several years. It all started when she slipped on a spilled Frosty walking...
abdominal pain

Medical Student Almost Makes Rare Diagnosis

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ST. LOUIS, MO - National media outlets are abuzz today with the news that Nishant Kumar, a third-year medical student at St. Louis University’s...