As Tour Winds Down, Epo Shortage Ends
FRANCE - The Tour de France ends July 21st and nephrologist Dr. Ron Goldman couldn't be happier. He told reporters, "The Tour couldn't have ended...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Cardiologist “Very Excited” About the New Updates
DURHAM, NC – Dr. Stone was seen earlier today speaking with a colleague in the halls saying how excited he was about the new...
DaVinci Announces Partnership with Hair Salons, Tattoo Parlors
US citizens, eager to have their economy open up, will soon have an exciting opportunity. Hair salons and tattoo parlors have struggled with how...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping...
United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes
CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing...
Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, ‘I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital’
NASHVILLE, TN - Dr. Nick Johnson, a recent medical school graduate and internal medicine resident impressed his family at Thanksgiving dinner last night when...