Local Hospital Sponsors 5K Fun Run to Raise Awareness About Iatrogenic Injury
HAVRE DE GRACE, MD - After noticing several readmissions for falls, double-digit INRs, and recurrent nonischemic chest pain, hospitalists at Harford Memorial Hospital realized that...
Watching Cable News Raises Blood Pressure Better than Levophed, Study Finds
It is common knowledge that watching your Grandpa getting riled up night after night watching cable news opinion hosts rant and rave about their...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency
WORLD 1-1 - Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario...
Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale
With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...
Med Student Doing a Psych Rotation Writes Her Own Mental Status Exam
MENTAL STATUS EXAM (MSE) - A female in her 20's looking stated age, recently changed out of sweatpants and into pajamas with a loud coffee stain. Dark...
PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
Study: Anticoagulation Initiation Instantly Increases Your Fall Risk
BOCA RATON, FL - Finally proving what most doctors already have suspected for decades, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram presented his research data which demonstrated the direct causative...
The FDA, or Federal Dating Authority, Has Established a New System for Online Dating
Testing of potential suitors is an exhausting, expensive and occasionally toxic procedure. The FDA, or Federal Dating Authority, has established a new system for...
Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot
CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...