Internal Medicine

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

0
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

0
GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on...
Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

PT and OT File for Divorce

20
PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...
cowbell

New Study Explores If More Cowbell Is The Key To Improving Sepsis Outcome

0
NEW YORK, NY - An old treatment for sepsis-related fever is emerging as a potential alternative to the current sepsis bundle regimens, according to...
condom, syringes

New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes

0
PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in...
dr evil

Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...

0
DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...
pharmacist

Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions

48
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...
ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

0
KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate....
zika virus

CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus

0
ATLANTA, GA - During a landmark press conference yesterday afternoon, CDC Chief Epidemiologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram implored mosquitos to wear small condoms during intercourse in...
donut hole ACA

Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling

6
WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...