Internal Medicine

mosquito

ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus

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For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...

Point-Counterpoint: I Got Sick from the Flu Shot

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Taking the Point will be Janet Flowerbottom, a local herbal supplement shop owner from Boulder, CO.  Taking the Counterpoint is Carl Hogstrom, a pig...
Landau

Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors

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MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...
ICD

Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face

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VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias...
disappointed doctor

Following $2 Million Lottery Win, Doctors Still in Debt

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WASHINGTON, DC – After months of pooling their money and purchasing lottery tickets, a group of local resident doctors have won the Virginia Lotto’s...
ambulance

Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...

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SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a...

Citing Principle of Autonomy, AHA Recommends Patients Run Own Codes

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ALLAS, TX—A major principle of medical ethics is that of autonomy, which states that patients should be highly involved in decisions regarding their health...
malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

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MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...
PM&R doctor

Nephrologist Sets Patients’ Dry Weight Goal at 0 Kg

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HOUSTON, TX - Adding to his reputation of aggressively managing volume status, nephrologist Albert Kalosis has announced that his new goal dry weight for...