Internal Medicine

call button nursing lockout interval

Amazing Survival Story: Patient Lives by Pressing Call Light 46 Times in a One...

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AUSTIN, TX - 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times...
drug side effects

Patient Asks About Side Effects, Gets Every Single One of Them

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What started off as a routine admission has sent shockwaves through the medical community. Doctors at Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) Hospital are reporting that...
football wash hands play

NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play

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NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Joint Commission scissors

Joint Commission Requires More Name Tag Bracelets for Sicker Patients

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PHOENIX, AZ - In an effort to improve patient safety, the Joint Commission (JC) has recommended that sicker ICU patients should have multiple nametag...

Oncologist Baffled by Cryptic Writing on Chart: DNR/DNI

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NEAR SHORE MEDICAL CENTER, MANHASSET, NY - Dr. Kim Okemo was perplexed to find six cryptic letters on the chart of a 92-year-old patient....

CDC Now Recommends Using Baby Diapers for PPE

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control has issued a statement recommending that doctors and nurses should now use baby diapers for PPE....

Nasty JellyBean – Hospital Edition

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The makers of the popular game Nasty Jellybean have a new healthcare edition divertissement coming to a store near you, just in time for...

Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones

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In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
reach out

In Attempt to Reach Out to Cards, Medicine Resident Falls Out of Chair

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BOSTON, MA - In an aging population that is becoming increasingly complex, it is not uncommon for inpatient primary teams taking care of patients...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...