Internal Medicine

MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths

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Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU. There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
10/10 pain

Patient Drug Mentoring Program to replace the old PDMP

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Washington, DC- The opioid crisis has had a drastic impact in the United States and more physicians have turned to alternative methods to dealing...
peyton manning

Peyton Manning No Longer Has The Arm Strength to Deliver Papa John’s Pizzas

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DENVER, CO - According to Denver Broncos team doctors, aging 39-year-old quarterback Peyton Manning’s arm strength has significantly diminished to the point where he...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
fever defervesce

Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already

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EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...

Breaking: Bronx Zoo Tiger with COVID-19 Leaves Hospital AMA

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BRONX, NY - Nadia, a 4-year-old Amur tiger from the Bronx Zoo, who recently tested positive for COVID-19, has left the hospital against medical...

ZDoggMD: Doctors Today

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTH79gwO8nI

U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”

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TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...