Internal Medicine

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally

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ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...

Suburban ER Named Fibromyalgia Center of Excellence

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - Specifically mentioning its “soothing atmosphere, unrushed physicians, and tendency for staff to not smirk upon mention of the disease,” the Fibromyalgia...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to...
doctor

Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern

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Dear July 1st Medicine Intern, I’ve been wheezing a little bit more over the past few days and I’m worried that my asthma is starting...
airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

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EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned...

Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)

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All the bickering of which is best The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone, The rest Pittance such luxury Lacking any test Pittance yes! Void of existential quest Ver-Sed,...
worst patient

10 Reasons Why You Are the Worst Patient Ever

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Want to know why no nurse or physician or other health care provider wants to come into your room and take care of you?...

European Society of Cardiology Recommends Aspirin Before World Cup Final Kickoff

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Heeding the advice of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) ahead of the 2018 FIFA World Cup Final at Luzhniki Stadium...
hospital coupons

Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale

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With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...