Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity
NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain. The New York native,...
Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...
SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a...
Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture
Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of...
Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a...
MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths
Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU.
There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic,...
Desperate Officials Offer Deal to Twentysomethings: If You Wear a Mask, You Can Ditch...
BEAR, DE—In an admirable attempt to incentivize mask-wearing amongst America’s twentysomethings, who are thought to be driving the summer resurgence of Covid-19 due to...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient
A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was...
Ugh, Not Again: GI Lab Full of A**holes Today
ROCKFORD, IL - One local gastroenterology group is at wit's end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any...
Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea
PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...