New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who To Page About Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Office of the Surgeon General was thrown into chaos late last night when newly-appointed Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Sylvia...
Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it
CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand. Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the...
Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not
Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues...
Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents
NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways...
White House admin to decrease COVID by turning graph upside down
President Trump announced at a press conference yesterday that the White House would soon be advocating for a new approach to decreasing COVID 19...
UPenn Med School Retires Dr. Oz’s White Coat
PHILADELPHIA, PA—In a move that most have hailed as long overdue, the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) finally honored...
Children’s Book Review: Grace & Chase Tackle Acid-Base
Pros / This book is a colorful, lyrical, and fun read for precocious infants, toddlers, and children with an interest in acid-base disorders.
Cons /...
Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you...
Ronaldo, Neymar Admit Magic Soccer Sprays Contain Dilaudid
CHICAGO, IL - Two of the world's best soccer players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar, have told Gomerblog the secret ingredient that makes those magic...
Amidst World Cup Fever, Physician Issues Yellow Card
ATLANTA, GA - An area hospitalist Dr. Jonathan Williams amidst the excitement of the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, has issued a yellow card...