Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
How to Write a Resignation Letter & Burn As Many Bridges As Possible
With burnout at a record high and no signs of improvement in sight, there will be an increasing need for letters of resignation. But...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Dr. Fauci announces retirement from NIAID to become Major League Baseball Pitching Coach
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, announced this morning that he will be stepping down...
The Scourge of Troponipenia
MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, FL - Hospitalists are going crazy about the pandemic of normal troponins in Miami-Dade. Jose Fernandez-Rodriguez-Hernandez-Alonso, MD -- “Mrs. Garcia, presented with...
Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...
Pulmonary Fellowship Personal Statement
My passion for pulmonology began when I was born as a premature baby and was intubated for acute hypoxic respiratory failure. I remember my...
Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping...
Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve
SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left...