Internal Medicine

Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door

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HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office.  Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on...
medical student crying

Tips: How to Improve Your Daily Cry at Work Due to Burnout

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With all hope lost due to increasing and impossible expectations heaped upon health care practitioners by administrators, insurers, and patients each and every day,...
wolfgang turkey

Hospital Hires Wolfgang Puck to Design Turkey Sandwiches for ED Lunch Trays

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DALLAS, TX – DOA Hospital group in Frisco, Texas unveiled a new initiative in partnership with Wolfgang Puck to provide "therapeutic gastronomy" for ED...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley,...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

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NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
bacteria

Mystery of Appendix Solved: A Private Space for Horny Bacteria to “Get It On”

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INSIDE YOUR APPENDIX—Admit it, when you place your stethoscope (that is, if you even own one) on a patient’s abdomen, you don’t really keep...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better

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WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...

Patient’s Heart Hears about Impending Discharge, Begins Fibrillating

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DES MOINES, IA - After overhearing a conversation about discharge planning, the heart belonging to 87 year old Thomas Munson decided at the last...

Coronavirus Tests Positive for Joe Exotic

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CHICKASHA, OK—Joe Exotic cannot be stopped. The self-proclaimed “Tiger King,” country musician, master illusionist, former Presidential and gubernatorial candidate, and gun-toting redneck simply cannot...