Internal Medicine

Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo

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  Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Cons /...

Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor

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BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged.  Administrators may have found their answer...
hospital cafeteria food

Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format

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NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
screaming in ED

ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain

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SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...
tip jar

Intern Spotted Rounding with Tip Jar, Asking for Spare Change

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Medicine intern Randy McMichael has been trying to make his measly paycheck last each month.  Despite making the usual sacrifices -...
blood pressure heart

Physical Exam Tips: The Heart

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In this series, we review the physical exam, the intermediate step in a patient evaluation that ultimately leads to imaging.  There are so many...
mega motrin for veterans

Veterans Affairs Honors Veterans with New Mega Motrin Pills

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WASHINGTON, DC - Motrin has long been the cornerstone of treatment for any medical ailment of Active Duty Service Members and Veterans for decades. ...
hospital operator code blue microphone

Hospital Operator Fired for Relaying “Code Brown”

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NEW JERSEY – 27-year-old hospital operator, Jeremy Dickerson, was fired last week after accidentally relaying an incorrect message over the hospital PA system.  Dickerson, instead...
Super Bowl LI shootout

Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout

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HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...