Internal Medicine

Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween

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HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween. “Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
hospitalist place

Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective

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By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley Placement.  I like placement.  I like nursing home placement.  I like rehab placement.  I like acute rehab placement.  I like...

AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...

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Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out...

12 Days of Christmas – Hospital Style

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On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me, a prep with a colonoscopy. On the second day of Christmas my true...

Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today.  New studies just released by...
hospitalist

Nocturnist Found Answering Phone Call Without Passive Aggressive Feelings

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NEW YORK, NY – In an incident of astoundingly good professional behavior, a nocturnist in Titmouse County Hospital, NY was found answering a phone...

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

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WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...
cbc

CBC To Be Replaced By Cheaper Incomplete Blood Count

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NASHVILLE, TN - Looking to save a few dollars here and there in order to hire more hospital administrators, leadership at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) will...
telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...