Internal Medicine

“Hands Across the Globe” Fundraiser Aims to Stop Spread of Coronavirus

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WUHAN, CHINA—The 1980s’ supergroup USA for Africa, known mostly for its hunger-awareness-raising “We Are the World” tune and “Hands Across America” event, announced yesterday...

Breaking News: THE PATIENT POOPED!!!

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DURHAM, NC - HE POOPED!!!!  OMG!!!  Thank heavens!  GomerBlog can’t believe the news we’re about to deliver!  But he did it!  HE DID IT!!!...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
hospitalist

Nocturnist Found Answering Phone Call Without Passive Aggressive Feelings

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NEW YORK, NY – In an incident of astoundingly good professional behavior, a nocturnist in Titmouse County Hospital, NY was found answering a phone...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...

Orthopaedic Surgeons Attempting to “Re-learn” ICU Things 🤦‍♂️

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San Diego, CA - In light of the ongoing COVID19 Pandemic, physicians of all walks of life are preparing to be called upon to...

Woman Fakes Heart Attack to Make Flight Land at Her Real Destination

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GUNNISON, CO - A woman who couldn’t find a direct flight from Los Angeles to Gunnison, Colorado bought a ticket to Kansas City, Missouri instead....
fellow on rounds

Cardiac Cath Clearance: A Rant from the Renal Fellow

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Thank you very much for this very interesting consult for clearance for cardiac catheterization in this lovely man who is unfortunately having a myocardial...
Med Student, WiFi

Attending’s Feedback to Student: ‘Strengthen Your WiFi Signal’

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AUBURN, AL - It was the final day of his medicine rotation, and third-year medical student Scott Hannigan sat down with his attending Rachel...
N95 99 negative AFB sputums

Doc Takes Chance on Ill-Fitting Small N95 Mask Since Finding Regular One Requires Effort

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - After briefly weighing the risks and benefits of using an ill-fitting small N95 mask that's already there versus trying to search...