Internal Medicine

limited-edition discharge summary vinyl

Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl

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NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be...

Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer

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WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
crossfit

New Mental Health Hotline Established for CrossFitters and Vegans

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Seattle, WA- North Seattle General Hospital held an emergency press conference today to roll out their mental health hotline for CrossFitters and Vegans that...
dialysis machine ATM machine

Nephrologists Propose Getting Rid of Sunday to Fit Dialysis Schedule Better

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WASHINGTON, DC—Most people enjoy their Sundays—a day off to relax, enjoy a boozy brunch with friends, watch football—but for hemodialysis patients and the nephrologists...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
paddles for defibrillation

Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

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MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was...

With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
Virgin Airlines Chlamydia

Breaking: Virgin Airlines Diagnosed with Chlamydia

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is scrambling after Virgin Airlines dropped a bombshell at a press conference earlier this morning revealing that...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...