Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys
NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...
Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen. “It has never taken me so long to...
Randomized Controlled Trial Finds #ThoughtsAndPrayers Superior to #Thoughts or #Prayers Alone
BERKELEY, CA - A recent study of millennial patients diagnosed with chronic diseases found that social media posts with #ThoughtsAndPrayers were more effective than...
Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit
DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%. Bowers...
Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts
CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...
Gastroenterologists Discover New Orifice in Armpit
In an earth-shattering discovery sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, a team of gastroenterologists have announced the presence of a new orifice deep in...
Veterans Affairs Honors Veterans with New Mega Motrin Pills
WASHINGTON, DC - Motrin has long been the cornerstone of treatment for any medical ailment of Active Duty Service Members and Veterans for decades. ...
Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo
After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects. We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...
Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR
KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...