Internal Medicine

Delta WiFi bicarb

Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight

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DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta...
coumadin

Hospital Picks Up The Coumadin Channel, Will Bring Back for One More Riveting Season

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NASHVILLE, TN - Tennessee Health Sciences (THS) has decided to pick up the critically-acclaimed inpatient TV program known as The Coumadin Channel, which means...

Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield

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CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday.  This...
physician

ICU Physician Unveils New Self-Extubation Order Set

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AUGUSTA, ME - An ICU physician in Augusta, Maine is now using a self-extubation order set.  “It is a beautiful concept, really,” gushes ICU...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’

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ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around.  Constance Bentley,...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...

85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...

Carinii Sues Pneumocystis for Alimony After He Runs Away with His Secretary Jirovecii

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MALIBU, CA – GomerBlog recently came across a public filing Thursday that had shocking implications.  Carinii, long known to be the partner of Pneumocystis,...
feeding tube

New Policy Mandates Feeding Tube Placement in Surgery Interns

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BOSTON, MA - A controversial new policy at a premier surgical training program is turning heads. Last year, General Surgery Residency Program Director Dr. Philip McCocktosen...
doctors lent

PGY-1 Writes Admission Note That Does Not Contain a Single English Word

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PGY1 IM H&P HPI: 54M w/ MMP incl. COPD, HFrEF, stg. IV SSC (?1°, w/ mets to LLL c/b CAP x 3, mets to L-S c/b...