Internal Medicine

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

0
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

0
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

0
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...

Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free

0
GALVESTON, TX – Charles Wilson is a typical pulmonary/critical care fellow who spends 130 hours a week at the hospital (officially 80), which totals $6.10 an...
elf getting sick

Collection of Hospital Holiday Decoration Pics

0
We want to thank our fans for these hospital holiday decorations crafted with hospital materials (don't tell the hospital administrators), exceptional wit, and extreme...
new medical interns

Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns

0
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...

Friday Afternoon Clinic Patient Surprisingly Sent to the Emergency Department

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The emergency department at Queen’s Hospital had a very rare event occur this Friday afternoon.  74-year-old Wilma Gooding, checked into the emergency...
alternative medicine

Homeopathic Burn Remedy Effective, Allopaths Stunned

33
DENVER, CO - Doctors, skeptics, and the scientific community as a whole, were stunned today when the North American branch of the Society for...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

0
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...

Intern gazes into view of the galaxies in Epic home screen, ponders meaning of...

0
Chicago, IL - While turning to the computer to place orders on ICU rounds, intern Dr. Exy Stential never made it past the log-in...