Internal Medicine

urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet

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NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he...
emr

EMR Cures Nearly All Physical Abnormalities Per EMR Physical Exam

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VERONA, WI – According to electronic medical record (EMR) manufacturer, Epic Systems, the implementation of EMRs has improved the physical exam toward normal in...
stethoscope fairy

Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow

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ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to...
surgical bouffant

Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap

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For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country.  Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...
medical SOAP note

Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages

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STONY BROOK, NY - On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital's final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend,...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
Iron Man hemochromatosis

Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis

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NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
YMCA

New Study Describes “Y.M.C.A. Reflex”

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BOSTON, MA—It has been observed for decades and is so commonplace as to almost be an afterthought.  And yet, after a thorough review of the...

‘Real World Medical School’ Canceled After One Episode

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SAN JOSE, CA - The Real World Medical School was immediately canceled by NBC after the first episode last night.  "Absolutely nothing exciting happened," said...