Internal Medicine

Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
PGA pro turns hospital administrator

PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf

16
SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...
bad diet

Doctor Accused of Body Shaming for Recommending Diet and Exercise

0
TAMPA, FL - In a stunning display of insensitivity, Dr. Byron Myrtle is in hot water over accusations of body shaming and cyber bullying....
new medical interns

Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns

0
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...
U.S. economy crashes ICU

Breaking: U.S. Economy Crashes, Transferred to ICU

0
NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog has learned that the U.S. economy is crashing and is no longer stable for the medical floor.  It has...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

0
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
sick patient

Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns

27
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

23
TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

0
WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
ASN logo

Nephrologists Still Unclear What the Guy in the ASN Logo is Doing

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A groundbreaking poll conducted by the American Society of Nephrology (ASN) earlier this month revealed that 98% of its members "have...