Internal Medicine

In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb

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NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...

Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
ER

Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid

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DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a...

NASA: Mars Rover Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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PASADENA, CA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, NASA has announced that Mars rover Curiosity has tested positive for coronavirus. This is a shock...

Nation Gives Fauci Permission to Take 15-Minute Power Nap

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UNITED STATES - American citizens have given Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, permission to sneak...
iv pole medical student

In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save...

Bicyclist Doctor Dons Scrubs Plastered with Advertising and Sexy Cute Buttpads

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Dr. Javier Dorfmann has perennially unfulfilled fantasies about competing in the Tour de France.  Just starting his second year of internal medicine residency at...