Internal Medicine

gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

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BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...

Researchers Discover Length of “A While”

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ST. LOUIS, MO -  It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago. So say researchers...
G-tube G-spot

The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot

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GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities. The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is...
laboratory testing

Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable‏

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
joint commssion tips

Petition to Rip Down All Joint Commission Tips and Pearls Sheets from Bathroom Stalls...

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How sick are you of seeing Joint Commission tips and acronyms printed out and taped to bathroom stalls?  If you are like most health...
drinking coffee

Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results

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SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens...
physical exam

AMA Holds Funeral Service for Physical Exam

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The American Medical Association held a large funeral service today in honor of the Physical Exam, which passed away earlier this month after a...
blood donor 10 units of blood

Now That’s Generosity: Man Donates All 10 Pints of His Blood

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MIAMI, FL - We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs.  Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...