Internal Medicine

hospital gurney

Physician DCs Bed in Order to Get Patient to Leave Hospital

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DETROIT, MI - In a fit of mild rage and decisive action, local physician Dr. Enuf wrote his final order in the battle with an...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
baby aspirin

FDA Reminder: Baby Aspirin Not Actually Meant for Babies

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Looking to clear things up to the confused American public, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a reminder that...
medical zodiac

The 12 Symptoms of the Medical Zodiac‏

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Do you remember your constellations, in particular the 12 symptoms of the medical zodiac?  Bust out your telescopes, find your closest clear night sky,...
Barolo tap

Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap

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ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first...

Millions of Men are Getting Bactrim for Summer

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With summer here a new trend is sweeping the nation among Mediterranean-descent men: Bactrim. When we looked into this odd trend, via google search, we...

Breaking: Wandering Atrial Pacemaker Gets a New Home

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The American Journal of Borderline Interesting Cardiology published today that a wandering atrial pacemaker has finally been settled in a permanent location. Dr. Amy...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

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SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...

CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.

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Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...