Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding
ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48
SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November. Proposition 46 includes proposals...
Government to Mandate Scale-Operated Doors at All American Buffet Restaurants
WASHINGTON, DC - At the urging of First Lady Michelle Obama, the POTUS has issued an executive order aimed at curtailing the staggering rates...
Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC
ATLANTA, GA - A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, "just needs a...
Tips: How to Manage Your Pent-Up, Work-Related Rage
Many jobs, in particular ones involving working at the hospital, have a certain way of… how do you say… taking you there. One of the...
Cursed 110-Year-Old Describes Living Through Both Spanish Flu & Coronavirus Pandemics
NEW YORK, NY—Calling herself the unluckiest woman ever, 110-year-old Dottie Livingston is one of the few people who has been alive for both the...
Covid-19 Prevention: New AICD Delivers Shock Whenever You Touch Your Face
VOLTAGE, OR—In what can only be described as “shocking” news, the FDA recently approved a novel implantable cardioverter-defibrillator that not only senses dangerous arrhythmias...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries
DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...
Interventional Radiologist Uses Dental Floss, Chewing Gum to Fix Broken Pipe in Kitchen Sink
NEW YORK, NY - Newly-minted interventional radiology attending Dr. Marcus Jones scored a personal victory today when he successfully mended a leaking pipe leading...