Internal Medicine

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Facebook, OD

Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone.  Her roommate,...
excited woman

Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm

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ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

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ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
barrage pages

Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs

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YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
palliative care full code

How Ironic: Entire Palliative Care Team is Full Code

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Palliative care, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "an approach that improves the quality of life of...
curves Frank Starling

ACC/AHA: Check Out the Curves on Dr. Frank, Dr. Starling!!

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) & American Heart Association (AHA) have issued a joint statement, telling people to look over...
health record on post it notes

Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes

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AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...