Internal Medicine

Endocrine responds valiantly to Blood Glucose of 201

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Local Endocrine fellow and brand-new father, Dr. Patrick Tumble, reports unadulterated joy at getting 3 am phone call regarding a high blood glucose. Dr.Tumble...

Dilaudid & Morphine Shortage Prompts Pharmacy to Switch to Heroin PCA Pumps

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SMITHVILLE, AR - The ongoing rise in demand for opiate medications, combined with limited supply of intravenous narcotics has left physicians, nurses, and pharmacists...
reach out

In Attempt to Reach Out to Cards, Medicine Resident Falls Out of Chair

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BOSTON, MA - In an aging population that is becoming increasingly complex, it is not uncommon for inpatient primary teams taking care of patients...
gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

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BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...

Surgeon General Creates Downloadable ‘Home ECMO’ PDF

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As COVID-19 continues to spread through the population, we are increasingly finding the availability of PPE to be limited. Hospital staff are told to...

COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE

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BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...
bacon-eluting stent

Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents

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NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways...
morgue

Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”

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CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...

New Helmet for Spleen Allows Mononucleosis Patients to Play Contact Sports

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Athletes afflicted with infectious mononucleosis, a disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus and sometimes marked by splenomegaly, will soon be able to...