Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum
LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
Military Doctors Petrified if Motrin Found to Worsen Coronavirus
Military physicians are on the edge of their seats after an opinion article out of France mentioned that NSAIDs may worsen Coronavirus infections. Extreme...
Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
Traffic Not Only Causes Stress, It Causes Syphilis Too
STUCK IN THE MIDDLE LANE (STILL), INTERSTATE 85 SOUTH, ATLANTA, GA - Traffic jams are modern transit’s strokes. At rush hour or any hour in...
Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital
When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience...
CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction
ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and...