ICU Accepts Patient During Change of Shift
SAN DIEGO, CA - This morning at Southern California Hospital, RN Craig Needstapee became alarmed when at seven thirty in the morning, he called...
Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...
North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
WASHINGTON, DC - The White House has announced that North Korea has successfully hacked yet another electronic staple of American life – the drug-dispensing Pyxis...
Hospital President Purchases Exotic Car, Maintains Non-Profit Status
MIAMI, FL - St. Mary’s Regional Hospital patients and staff were treated to a wonderful sight as they walked into the hospital Tuesday morning. ...
Peyton Manning No Longer Has The Arm Strength to Deliver Papa John’s Pizzas
DENVER, CO - According to Denver Broncos team doctors, aging 39-year-old quarterback Peyton Manning’s arm strength has significantly diminished to the point where he...
Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil
Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions.
Cons /...
Know Your White Coats
The physician white coat comes with a strong sense of entitlement. At $3,000 tuition per square inch, this is the most expensive coat that also...
Cafeteria’s Salmonella Special Particularly Tasty Today
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Medical Center are impressed with the hospital cafeteria's offerings today, which include the usual stalwarts like the Burnt...
Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted
BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....