Internal Medicine

malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
Salivation Army

Salivation Army Collects Record Number of Oral Secretions for Those in Need

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LONDON, ENGLAND - The Salivation Army, an organization renowned all the world over for its charitable efforts, has announced that a recent donation drive ending...

NEJM: Acupuncture Finally Proven Beneficial by Using 14G for Respiratory Distress After Trauma

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Eastern medicine has long touted the benefits of acupuncture but, until now, studies have been equivocal. In a new study published by the NEJM...

Senior Medicine Resident Seen by PT, Recommended for SNF

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - After a month-long stretch on the general medicine service at a large academic hospital, senior resident Alex Perezoso remarked that he was...
Nintendo cartridge Super Mario Bros

Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
rectal exam

April 18th 2016, National Rectal Exam Day, Free Exams at IRS Building

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to ensure the health of all Americans, the United States government has officially made April 18th, 2016 as National...
attending thinks he is funny

Attending Shocked to Learn He’s Not Actually Funny

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TACOMA, WA - Dr. Gerald Wood, the Chief of Rheumatology at St. Johns, was stunned to learn this morning that he is not objectively...

Move Over Nephritic & Nephrotic, Researchers Discover 3 More Renal Syndromes: NephrAtic, NephrEtic, and...

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WASHINGTON, DC—Medical students everywhere have reportedly finally mastered the differences between nephritic and nephrotic syndromes, but just as they were preparing to ace their...
auto shop

Family Physician Leaves Medical Practice to Work in an Auto Shop

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If your doctor worked at the local auto shop, this is the kind of note s/he would write after looking at your car: Chief Complaint: "Hard...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...