Internal Medicine

cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

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NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
mars

NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars

81
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades.  Successful travel to and habitation of...
vaccines

Jimmy Kimmel and Real Doctors Preach on Getting Vaccines

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Another reason to get your kids vaccinated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgpfNScEd3M
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

0
BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...
ambulance

Update: AHA Addends Recommended 90-Minute Door-to-Balloon Time for MI to Allow Cath Team 3...

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SAN DIEGO, CA—For the cardiac catheterization team at San Diego General Hospital, compliance with the 90-minute door-to-balloon time metric for STEMI patients is a...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

0
SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
verbs

Medical Scribe to Subspecialize in Verbs

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NORFOLK, VA - In her few years as a medical scribe, Kacey Agnarsson has observed how health care is getting more specialized with each...
fast train

Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train

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I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform.  I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...
pills

Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with...