Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores
PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
Local Man Cures Diabetes After He Refuses His Insulin
SEATTLE, WA – After years of obesity, a high calorie diet and limited exercise Mr. Krendall presented to his local ED after feeling, “crappy”...
Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company
I am an emergent see room dock door. I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...
Physician Wins Award for Paying Off Student Loans
WASHINGTON, DC - Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price was pleased to announce this week that 58-year-old internist Dale Mitchell has been awarded...
Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van
PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday. A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...
Twas the Night Before Christmas in the ED
Twas the night before Christmas, the ED was quiet,
Not a creature was stirring, there wasn’t even a riot.
The patients slept soundly, so...
Inevitable Really: Batman Diagnosed with Histoplasmosis
GOTHAM CITY - Saying that it is pretty remarkable that he even went this long without catching it, doctors at Gotham City Medical Center...
Landmark Study: Fortnite Superior to Dilaudid in Teenage Males
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY - A groundbreaking new study conducted by CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Poughkeepsie) found that teenage males preferred access to the popular video...
Medical Journals Abandon Editorial Standards to Publish 5th Grader’s Book Report
In an unprecedented move medical journals across academia have done away with quality requirements to make data available to physicians on the frontlines as...