Internal Medicine

intern, urine

Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...

Ask a Medical Coder

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Dear Medical Coder, Over the past few days I’ve become more short of breath with wheezing and productive cough, probably due to all this grass pollen....
ICD

ICD Interrogated, Confesses to V-Tach

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WASHINGTON, DC - GomerBlog has just received word that an ICD has finally caved to repeated interrogation and has finally confessed to the presence...

Orthopod Writes a Longer Note Than Hospitalist: Metaphysical Calamity Ensues

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KEARNEY, NE - Fatefully cleaving the time line in two, an orthopedic surgeon at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) wrote a progress note longer than...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...

Doctors May Qualify for Law Degree After Completing HIPAA and EMTALA Compliance Training

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A report by the Institute of Legal Education states that doctors are likely eligible for a Juris Doctorate degree after completing mandatory training for...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

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BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At...
DNR

Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...
aspirin 331 mg inflation

Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
medical pager

Physician’s Curiosity Piqued After Being Paged to Callback Number ‘6’

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BOSTON, MA - In a breaking development, hospitalist James Dugan was paged at 7:45 AM this morning to the mysterious single callback number “6,”...