Internal Medicine

surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

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SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

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Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud...
burnout

An Administrator’s Tips to Health Care Providers for Curing Burnout

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Burnout is prevalent.  Most of you reading this are burned out.  What can we do?  How can we preserve our sanity?  We sat down...

Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool

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MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...

Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%

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WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided...
santa electronic record

Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime

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“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen.  “It has never taken me so long to...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
mouse clicks

Healthcare Professionals Sweep Medals In All Olympic Mouse-Clicking Events

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Healthcare professionals' historic dominance of Olympic mouse-clicking events has continued as competition nears completion. Doctors, nurses, physician's assistants, respiratory...
hospitalist place

Hospitalists Aim to Place All Americans by 2020

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced a new multibillion-dollar PBP initiative, which stands for "Place, Baby, Place!", with the...