Internal Medicine

eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...
laughter is the best medicine

Study: Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine, Except for Cases of Severe Diarrhea

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SAN ANTONIO, TX – A new study published in The Medicine Journal demonstrated that laughter truly is the best medicine for medical aliments.  The study...
cdc

CDC Official: I Want You to Think Really Hard as You Personally Battle Ebola

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Hi.  I work for the CDC and I was assigned to your case I traveled from Atlanta as soon as I heard the news....

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...

Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

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Listen I have to confess I have not been appreciative of you You give and you give and you give But you also know when to pull back You...
anti vaccine brain

Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered

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Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers).  Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations.  Environmental...
NBME

NBME Announces Yet Another Board Examination STEP Up 4

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In an unexpected press release, the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME) revealed that a new Step examination for the United...
iv flush

Exciting New Treatment for ‘Status Dramaticus’ Released Today by the FDA and NIH

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BETHESDA, MD - Breaking news today from the FDA and NIH researchers in Bethesda,  MD.  A new treatment for Status Dramaticus (SD) has been...
buffet

Government to Mandate Scale-Operated Doors at All American Buffet Restaurants

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WASHINGTON, DC - At the urging of First Lady Michelle Obama, the POTUS has issued an executive order aimed at curtailing the staggering rates...
hospital specials

Commotion in the Hospital Cafeteria After Healthy Menu Installed

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LOS ANGELES, CA - A pediatric hospital has come under fire after revamping their inpatient food services menu. The director of nutrition at Coastline...