Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone. Her roommate,...
Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm
ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs
YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the...
Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage
SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
How Ironic: Entire Palliative Care Team is Full Code
ST. LOUIS, MO - Palliative care, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "an approach that improves the quality of life of...
ACC/AHA: Check Out the Curves on Dr. Frank, Dr. Starling!!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) & American Heart Association (AHA) have issued a joint statement, telling people to look over...
Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes
AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...
Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR
KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...