Internal Medicine

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Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...

The Joint Commission Unveils New Mandatory Hand Hygiene Checklist

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In an earnest effort to remove barriers to hand hygiene and improve the abysmal national hand hygiene rate of 5%, TJC  just released a...
lab results

July Intern: ‘Potassium is Either 4 or 14’

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KEARNEY, NE - Residency is full of minute details and keeping these all together is hard when you're just starting out. So no surprise...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

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CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...

Doctors Getting Nursing Degrees to Stay Competitive

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BOSTON, MA - Nurse Shannon Wilkens on floor 4 West thought she saw someone she knew in scrubs walking into room 414.  "He was tall,...
work burnout

After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice

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ATLANTA, GA - For internist Karen Davenport, today’s shift was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  She struggled mightily as she was asked...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...
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Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
stethoscope fairy

Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow

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ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to...