Internal Medicine

Newborn Nursery’s Infant Capacity Increases 50% by Hiring Former Tetris Champion

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ATLANTA, GA – The Newborn Nursery at Swedish Covenant Hospital has seen a dramatic increase in their patient capacity after hiring a former Tetris...
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Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker

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Chief Complaint: Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain. History of Present Illness: This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...

Cat on Ventilator, Still Full Code After 4 Years

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FREDERICKSBURG, FL - Local cat, Smokey, has been staying in the local vet hospital - in the ICU - for about 4 years.  This...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
drug side effects

Patient Asks About Side Effects, Gets Every Single One of Them

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What started off as a routine admission has sent shockwaves through the medical community. Doctors at Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) Hospital are reporting that...

Latest Research Suggests That a Nice Family Prognosticates Mortality in the Intensive Care Unit

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ABSTRACT Background A group of 1594 (667 were excluded for lack of relative personality traits) patients in a large metropolitan hospital were enrolled in a research...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
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Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars

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NORTH CAROLINA - Doctors and nurses are seeing unprecedented highs in morale and productivity three weeks after Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo Hospital installed...

Patient’s Heart Hears about Impending Discharge, Begins Fibrillating

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DES MOINES, IA - After overhearing a conversation about discharge planning, the heart belonging to 87 year old Thomas Munson decided at the last...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

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The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and...