Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin
LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is...
Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data
Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in...
ICU Admits Patient to ED
BUFFALO, NY - In a stunning turn of events last night at Sacrebleu Memorial Hospital, Pulmonary & Critical Care fellow Damien Dunlope earned headlines...
Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation. A standard dictation line stated at...
Breaking: Penlights Extinct
CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports.
"It is with...
Brilliant Chemist Gives up Dream of Curing Cancer, Focuses Efforts on Inducing 3 ½...
CAMBRIDGE, MA - Citing practical reasons, 41-year-old renowned chemist and laboratory researcher Charles Kenzington, Ph.D. has formally ended his three-decade quest to discover a...
Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents
NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways...
Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission
SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating...