Internal Medicine

Ashley Madison Data Leak Possibly Linked to Spike in Hospital Admissions

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LOS ANGELES, CA - News of the Ashley Madison adultery website data leak is possibly leading to an unexpected surge in hospital resource utilization today,...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

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NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
hospital casino

Las Vegas Hospital Expands into Luxury Resort and Casino

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In a bold new plan to increase hospital revenue streams, hospital administrators at Las Vegas Medical Center have teamed up with...
physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye On this day we take the time to remember The loss of a fond friend, The physical exam Gone are the days Of the bedside...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Tired of Its Advice Being Ignored, CDC Kicks America Out of Its Practice

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ATLANTA, GA—Frustrated that no one is listening to their Covid-19 recommendations, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that it had...
frog, tadpole

Man with Frog in Throat Also Has Tadpoles in Scrotum

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HICKORY, NC - Jerry Thompson has been dealing with a hoarse voice over the past week, something not uncommon as temperatures cool with the...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...
call button nursing lockout interval

Amazing Survival Story: Patient Lives by Pressing Call Light 46 Times in a One...

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AUSTIN, TX - 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

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BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
malpractice attorney

Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths

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MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian.  He...