Internal Medicine

confused doctor

Nervous American Doctors Refusing to See Patients Who’ve Been to America Recently

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NEW YORK, NY—At the height of the Ebola epidemic in 2014, medical offices in America constantly asked patients if they’d recently traveled to Africa,...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...

Middle School Dance Put on Contact Precautions

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Following the shocking display of "grinding" at last Fall's Homecoming dance, local Gandy Middle School PTA President, Karen Sterling, pushed to prophylactically put the...
nutritionist

Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist

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ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...

Medical Student at Home Gets Thanked for Helping Fight Coronavirus

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At 9am Tuesday morning, medical student Colin G was making coffee in his PJ’s when he received a text from his Aunt Jan. “Hi Colin,...

American Cancer Society: Start Colon Cancer Screening at Embryogenesis

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ATLANTA, GA - Most people should start colon cancer screening not at age 50 as previously recommended but at embryogenesis the American Cancer Society...
discharged patient

Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…

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ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home...
summer camp

Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary

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To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...

Unprepared Patient Cramming for Tomorrow’s Rectal Exam

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AUBURN, AL - Forever the procrastinator, nervous and unprepared patient Johnny Sanders has started cramming for tomorrow's rectal exam in the hopes he can...
moonupping sundowning

Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...