Internal Medicine

gauze for abscess

Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun

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PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
placement medicine

‘Hospital Medicine’ Renamed ‘Placement Medicine’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced that effective January 1, 2017, the specialty known as Hospital Medicine will be...
hospital hallway

General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today

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TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
yelp hospital review

Yelp Awards Noncompliant Patient for ‘Checking In’ to Same Hospital Room 198 Times in...

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FRESNO, CA - Divulging too many details about your personal life or whereabouts are often frowned upon by many but it turned out to be a...

Intern gazes into view of the galaxies in Epic home screen, ponders meaning of...

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Chicago, IL - While turning to the computer to place orders on ICU rounds, intern Dr. Exy Stential never made it past the log-in...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
baby aspirin

FDA Reminder: Baby Aspirin Not Actually Meant for Babies

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Looking to clear things up to the confused American public, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a reminder that...
vaccination

New Vaccination Campaign Seeks to Eradicate Anti-Vax Movement by 2030

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WASHINGTON, DC—Jenny McCarthy, once famous for a spread of nude photos in Playboy and now for causing the spread of measles in the US,...