Dermatologist’s Ears Bleed While Internist Describes Rash
NEW YORK, NY - Dermatologist Felicia Randolph was fielding a consult from an internal medicine colleague Martin Ortiz, when halfway through the horrid attempt...
CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country. There have now been over...
Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
Lame PCP Doctor Hasn’t Even Tried PCP
MADISON, WI - Quick! Hide your beer, get the Visine, because it's time to meet Dr. Dud. Well, her real name is Dr. Amy...
Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
Middle School Dance Put on Contact Precautions
Following the shocking display of "grinding" at last Fall's Homecoming dance, local Gandy Middle School PTA President, Karen Sterling, pushed to prophylactically put the...
Patient Awakens from Coma, Hears About Trump, Requests Withdrawal of Care
BOCA RATON, FL - Area patient Murray Bernstein miraculously awoke from a coma after several years, only to realize that Donald Trump was the President...
Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...