Internal Medicine

call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
death penalty

HHS to Add Capital Punishment to Possible Penalties for HIPAA Violation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In sweeping reversal of previous legislation, Health and Human Services (HHS) announced stronger punishments for violations of the Health Insurance Portability...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
routine ECG

ECG Tech Rejoices: ECG Ordered as ‘Routine’

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DURHAM, NC - ECG (electrocardiogram) tech Joy Foreman rejoiced as she came upon a true rarity today when it comes to the world of diagnostic...

Excitement of Black Hole Image Tempered by Concerns Over Galactic Coronary Artery Disease

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Last month the first images of a black hole were released to the public. Early excitement was quickly tempered by concerns from a...
intense rhabdomyolysis workout

New Fitness Craze, ‘RhabdoRage” Sweeping America

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MIAMI, FL - A new and exciting boutique fitness club has sprung up in South Florida, and if initial trends hold, it will take...
navy ship

Newly’Appointed ‘Ebola Czar’ Quarantines Entire Navy After Learning Ebola Can Be Transmitted by Semen

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold first move since his recent appointment by President Obama as “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain will quarantine the entire U.S....
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...
medical student

Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
laboratory testing

Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable‏

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...