Internal Medicine

blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

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MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room...
Pikachu, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Pikachu Spotted in Man’s Colon

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ENDOSCOPY SUITE 9 - On the heels of Pokémon Go's release on July 6 that signaled a comeback for the 1990s Nintendo franchise, GomerBlog is...
gout

Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout

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NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
va hospital

Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...

The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals

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I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I...
coumadin

Hospital Picks Up The Coumadin Channel, Will Bring Back for One More Riveting Season

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NASHVILLE, TN - Tennessee Health Sciences (THS) has decided to pick up the critically-acclaimed inpatient TV program known as The Coumadin Channel, which means...
football wash hands play

NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play

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NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

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ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...

Breaking: Patient with Paper Cut Made DNR

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MIAMI, FL - Telling her patient that death is imminent in these situations, a palliative care nurse practitioner has made his 24-year-old healthy patient...