Internal Medicine

Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...

Cupid Off Target This Valentine’s Day, Causing Massive Penetrating Traumas

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ROME, ITALY - Cupid, the chubby Roman god of love and all of its variations, has been unusually off-target this Valentine’s Day and is overwhelming...
mars

NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars

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MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades.  Successful travel to and habitation of...

Bicyclist Doctor Dons Scrubs Plastered with Advertising and Sexy Cute Buttpads

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Dr. Javier Dorfmann has perennially unfulfilled fantasies about competing in the Tour de France.  Just starting his second year of internal medicine residency at...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...

Nick Saban Okays IV Benadryl to Treat Tonight’s Healthy Scratches

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TUSCALOOSA, AL - Giving the official blessing and go-ahead to his University of Alabama sports medicine staff, Nick Saban has okayed the use of...
abdominal pain

Medical Student Almost Makes Rare Diagnosis

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ST. LOUIS, MO - National media outlets are abuzz today with the news that Nishant Kumar, a third-year medical student at St. Louis University’s...

NSFW: Uncensored Celeb Pics Never Seen Before

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1. Kim Kardashian - What is left when the internet has seen every inch of her? How about her placenta? Technically not part of...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
hospital administrators

Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic

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After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators...