Internal Medicine

urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

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BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...

In Move To Further Gender Equality, HERpes To Be Renamed HIMpes

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With the gender specific city code revolution ongoing in Berkeley, California, the landscape of our language is drastically changing. Physicians throughout the country are...
surgeon tired fusion

Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service

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SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider...
team doctor

Embarrassing: Team Doctor Rushes Onto Field Without His Stethoscope Again

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DENVER, CO - New York Giants team doctor Scott Rodeo feels like a giant moron as he once again rushed out onto the field...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...
malpractice court

Physician with MD and JD Sues Self for Malpractice

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In a head-spinning display of legal and corporate maneuvering, a Midwestern physician who also holds a law degree has litigated himself for gross negligence...

“Hands Across the Globe” Fundraiser Aims to Stop Spread of Coronavirus

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WUHAN, CHINA—The 1980s’ supergroup USA for Africa, known mostly for its hunger-awareness-raising “We Are the World” tune and “Hands Across America” event, announced yesterday...

Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income

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In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you...

Doctor Signs Out Against Patient Advice

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HELENA, MT—Dr. Otto Hare, the on-call physician last night at Helena Health Center, apparently decided to leave the hospital mid-shift—in the midst of admitting...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to...