Nervous American Doctors Refusing to See Patients Who’ve Been to America Recently
NEW YORK, NY—At the height of the Ebola epidemic in 2014, medical offices in America constantly asked patients if they’d recently traveled to Africa,...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...
Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...
BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...
Bicyclist Doctor Dons Scrubs Plastered with Advertising and Sexy Cute Buttpads
Dr. Javier Dorfmann has perennially unfulfilled fantasies about competing in the Tour de France. Just starting his second year of internal medicine residency at...
COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island
NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on...
Patient Awakens from Coma, Hears About Trump, Requests Withdrawal of Care
BOCA RATON, FL - Area patient Murray Bernstein miraculously awoke from a coma after several years, only to realize that Donald Trump was the President...
In Drastic Cost-Cutting Measure, Local Hospital Restricts Use of Albumin in Landscaping
To help meet financial goals for the upcoming fiscal year, University Hospital administrators voted to implement draconian restriction criteria for the use of albumin...
FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride
PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...