Internal Medicine

the purge

The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’

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In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

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Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
reward stickers

Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum

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CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system,...
slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

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ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...
Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

PT and OT File for Divorce

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PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...
obesity epidemic

Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale

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ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
drinking alcohol

Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved

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MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius.  Such is the case with Northrop...
ideal hospital floor plan

Floor Plans for Inpatient Medicine Wards: Reality vs. Dream

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In reality, this is what 95% of hospital medicine wards look like...  ... and now for the DREAM inpatient medicine ward!
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

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ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...

Wellness Emails Send Physician Into Homicidal Rage

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Police were called to Quintac Hospital yesterday to subdue a "violent and deranged physician," according to a department spokesperson. Details are...