Internal Medicine

medical call room

Empty Lubricant Packet Found In Hospital Sleep Room Creates More Questions Than Answers

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was surprised to find a used lubricant packet in in the hospital call room.  The doctor...
doctor patient

Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”

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CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...
sleeping patient

New Algorithm for Waking Patients During Morning Pre-Rounding Released

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In an effort to standardize the act of waking up patients in the morning during pre-rounding, the CDC has just released a universal algorithm...
doctors teaching

Tips for Interns: How to Respond to Your Attending’s Questions

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Here are a few short cases to help out our new interns! CASE 1 Your attending asks you during floor rounds: “What can you tell me about...

Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P

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QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
orthopedic surgeon ripping phone book bieps

Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...
elderly patient

Local Centenarian Attributes Longevity to Drinking, Sex, Survivorship Bias

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Lenny Jones, a retired pipe fitter and Navy veteran celebrated his 102nd birthday at the Greenwood Hills nursing home on Tuesday. When asked about the...
Fibro storm

Internal Medicine Resident Calls Rheumatology Fellow In at 2:00 AM for Fibromyalgia Patient “Fibro...

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KANSAS CITY, KS - “I was just tired of dealing with her,” internal medicine resident Dr. Kara Gifford said.  “She is allergic to every pain...

George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis

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DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday.  Dubbya said he...