Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
Gastroenterologists Try to Eliminate Acid Reflux by Building Wall along Stomach-Esophagus Border
Laredo, TX— Earlier this month, at the annual meeting of the American Gastroenterological Association in El Paso, Texas, a group of doctors proposed building...
Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative...
Ashley Madison Data Leak Possibly Linked to Spike in Hospital Admissions
LOS ANGELES, CA - News of the Ashley Madison adultery website data leak is possibly leading to an unexpected surge in hospital resource utilization today,...
Newly’Appointed ‘Ebola Czar’ Quarantines Entire Navy After Learning Ebola Can Be Transmitted by Semen
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold first move since his recent appointment by President Obama as “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain will quarantine the entire U.S....
Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
American Association of Doctors Considers Offering MD Degree to Anyone With a Smartphone
CHICAGO, IL - Citing new evidence that most medical questions can be answered quickly, and occasionally accurately, online, a major physician-accrediting body is considering...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service
SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider...
No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All
PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology...