Internal Medicine

Curious Med Student Smells Finger After Digital Rectal Exam

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BOSTON, MA – At the nation’s most prestigious medical school, Harvard Medical School, students were taught how to perform a digital rectal examination (DRE)...
ebola virus

Ebola Virus: I’m Really Uncomfortable with All This Attention I’m Getting

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Good morning, American citizens.  Let me introduce myself: I'm the Ebola virus. PLEASE!  Calm down, calm down and please allow me a few words.  I...
nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

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CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...

Senior Medicine Resident Seen by PT, Recommended for SNF

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - After a month-long stretch on the general medicine service at a large academic hospital, senior resident Alex Perezoso remarked that he was...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
natural dilaudid spring

Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets

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GRINDELWALD, SWITZERLAND - A quaint Swiss town is experiencing the first wave of what is sure to be an epic boom in tourism this...
joint commission

The Joint Commission on Satire Releases Consensus International Butthurt Scale

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The Joint Commission on Satire (JCS) released the results of their 2nd annual meeting to include the first ever consensus International...
Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Charting Complication: Hospitalist Develops Stage 4 Sacral Decub

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalist Sofia Candelaria was simply being a good hospitalist by spending 90% of her day documenting things that needed to be...