Internal Medicine

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...

Breaking News: Scientists Almost Know What the ‘V’ in COVID Stands For

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TULSA, OK- In a major update in the race for a vaccine for COVID-19, we have learned of a promising development from the scientific...
daughter to hospital day

Hospital’s ‘Take Your Daughter to Work’ Day Not Such a Good Idea

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Hepatobiliary surgeon Dr. Jeanne Devereux was disappointed.  "How hard could it be?!" she fumed.  "Just hold the damn retractor and...
whole milk

Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations

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With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...

Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did

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EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment,...
verbs

Medical Scribe to Subspecialize in Verbs

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NORFOLK, VA - In her few years as a medical scribe, Kacey Agnarsson has observed how health care is getting more specialized with each...

Curious Med Student Smells Finger After Digital Rectal Exam

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BOSTON, MA – At the nation’s most prestigious medical school, Harvard Medical School, students were taught how to perform a digital rectal examination (DRE)...
troponin bump

The Scourge of Troponipenia

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MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, FL - Hospitalists are going crazy about the pandemic of normal troponins in Miami-Dade.  Jose Fernandez-Rodriguez-Hernandez-Alonso, MD -- “Mrs. Garcia, presented with...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...

Medicine Consulted for History and Physical

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IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in."  At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the...