Internal Medicine

slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

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ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...

Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password

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DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...
excited woman

Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm

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ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...
upset patient

Patient Dissatisfied with Noise Level of Code Blue

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ANN ARBOR, MI – Following a prolonged code of her roommate, 46-year-old patient Karen Evans ranked her overall patient care experience as “below average.” On...
kidney beans

Nephrologist Feels Wrong Eating Bowl Full of Kidney Beans

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TAMPA, FL - Reluctantly bringing the spoon to his mouth after spending a few minutes swirling it in the bowl in front of him,...
constipation

Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation. "Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
tour de france

As Tour Winds Down, Epo Shortage Ends

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FRANCE - The Tour de France ends July 21st and nephrologist Dr. Ron Goldman couldn't be happier.  He told reporters, "The Tour  couldn't have ended...
hospital administrator

Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
single ply toilet paper

Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%

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MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a...