Internal Medicine

Multidrug Resistant Superbug Susceptible Only to Brussel Sprouts

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KANSAS CITY, KS - Dr. Carlos Johnson was anxiously awaiting antibiotic susceptibility testing on his 70-year-old ICU patient with pneumonia and septic shock.  The...
constipation

Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation. "Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
anatomy, Independence Day

Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem

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WASHINGTON, DC - For those patients and providers in the nation's hospitals today, new special edition patriotic call lights, IV pumps, and pagers are...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

So Rude: Patient Has the Audacity to Code at Shift Change

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ORLANDO, FL - In one of the most selfish acts of which Gomerblog has heard in recent memory, a 72-year-old male patient admitted last...

ZDoggMD: Nothing Compares to Poo

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX1Ovx8guCg

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
blood sugar rises after Halloween

Overnight News: Nation Has 107 Point Average Rise in Blood Sugars After Halloween

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, reported that the nation’s average blood glucose level rose over 107 points per human last...
ASN logo

Nephrologists Still Unclear What the Guy in the ASN Logo is Doing

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A groundbreaking poll conducted by the American Society of Nephrology (ASN) earlier this month revealed that 98% of its members "have...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

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ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...