Attending to Attending Conversation Upgraded To Category 5
CHARLESTON, SC - The impending attending to attending conversation scheduled to hit the 6th floor this evening was recently upgraded to Category 5, bringing with...
Twitter Unveils New Electronic Medical Record, Tweet-MR
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Twitter announced today that it would enter the business of electronic medical records, or EMRs. Twitter CEO and founder Jack...
CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country. There have now been over...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
ABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Unable to develop a recertification exam that is satisfactory to all, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) now seems to be trying...
Sticks & Stones Didn’t Break Area Man’s Bones, Words Did
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local Ralph Merriam is one lucky man. Thanks to his medical team and over six hours of emergent surgery, Merriam is...
Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary...
Cardiologist Extremely Disappointed by Amazon Echo
DALLAS, TX - Unable to visualize any cardiac images let alone make any useful observations about the human heart, a cardiologist at Baylor University...
Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds
WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...