Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Internal Medicine

medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and struggling to stay afloat with two interns off today, decided...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization. The prevailing reaction to this news...
elevator ride

Conversation Starters While Riding in an Elevator with a Patient

Elevator rides can be an awkward time for health care providers who sometimes have to spend up to 3 minutes standing in an enclosed metal box with their patients. Striking up a casual conversation can...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Orthopods Now Offering Virtual Bro-fit Classes

Chicago, IL - Orthopaedists always figured their specialty was science-proof. "One day we will have a cure for heart disease, and the cure for cancer, but we will never have the cure for stupidity,"...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study examining the relationship between prescription narcotics and benzodiazepines and indoor...

New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely

BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday regarding a newly-developed surgical technique for weight loss that bypasses...
tip jar

Intern Spotted Rounding with Tip Jar, Asking for Spare Change

PITTSBURGH, PA - Medicine intern Randy McMichael has been trying to make his measly paycheck last each month.  Despite making the usual sacrifices - subsisting on a diet of graham crackers and cutting out...

Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack

Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea.  In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such a catastrophic event, we caught up with the University of...

Medical Subspecialties as Star Wars Characters

The release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is upon us. Before we re-watch Episodes I through VII in our respective break and call rooms, let’s take a look at healthcare’s cast of...

Covid and Cambria North American Tour Kicks Off with a Bang!

The new sensation that's sweeping the nation!