Internal Medicine

BREAKING: Kim Jong-un Not Quite as Dead as His Surgeon Will Soon Be

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Pyongyang, North Korea - Reports have been coming out that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's health is in grave danger after a cardiac...

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
rich historian

T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale

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In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...
BLS online

New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives

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PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory...
veterinarian

Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...

Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients

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ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...

The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission

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The Rübler-Koss model or 7 stages of grief is a series of emotional stages an admitting attending experiences when faced with an impending admission....

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
black jacket

Physician Strike Enters 3rd Week After Custodial Staff Purchase Embroidered Jackets

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Ann Arbor, MI – Physicians throughout Michigan Medicine have continued into the third week of a bitter and protracted strike with no end in...