Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever. The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass
NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results
SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens...
Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board
CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course...
NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant
BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...
Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot
CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...
Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement
BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a...