Gastroenterology

rectal exam

April 18th 2016, National Rectal Exam Day, Free Exams at IRS Building

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to ensure the health of all Americans, the United States government has officially made April 18th, 2016 as National Rectal Exam Day. "Research has proven time and time again...
sword swallower reflux

Sword Swallower Wondering Why He Has Reflux All of a Sudden

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TAMPA, FL - With a quizzical look on his face and a first held to his epigastrium, circus performer and sword swallower, Matthew the Magnificent, told Gomerblog that he is stymied because he can't...

Google to Deploy Self-Driving Colonoscopes

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PALO ALTO, CA - Google has started to roll out their self-driving colonoscopies.  "We are very excited about this new technology," said CEO Sundar Pichai.  "Our self-driving colonoscopy drones have been sent out to millions...
colonoscopy

Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Gosh darn it!" exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff called him at home to remind him the scope was...
whole milk

Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations

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With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the nation are in a panic. Right and left they are...

IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board

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CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course he should "probably get Rheum on board." "Well, the waters are...
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

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BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close to uncovering the fifth abdominal quadrant. Modern medicine is almost regularly...
plastic grabber

Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot

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CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers from Home Depot.  Gastroenterologists are up in arms. “I can’t use...
big sur Mother Nature

Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement

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BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a large bowel movement on behalf of Mother Nature. "We initially thought...
Pikachu, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Pikachu Spotted in Man’s Colon

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ENDOSCOPY SUITE 9 - On the heels of Pokémon Go's release on July 6 that signaled a comeback for the 1990s Nintendo franchise, GomerBlog is on hand to report that gastroenterologist Jonathan Wilcox has found...