Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call
PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false. It...
Review of New Medical Dating Service: TheMatch.com
A new website called TheMatch.com uses a time-tested algorithm to pair you up with the residency of your dreams. You can sign up today...
Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now
LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying...
How to F***ing Shine on the Wards: A Med Student Guide to Getting Honors
We all want that coveted “H.” Here’s how to be a star on the wards:
1. On the first day of rotation, don’t forget the...
Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case
PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page. "At first I didn't...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Medical Student Writes Medical Satire Article to Add Validity on ERAS That He is...
CHARLESTON, SC - In an unprecedented attempt to seem interesting and a more well-rounded applicant than he really is, Brice Jargins, fourth-year medical student,...
Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield
CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday. This...
Intern’s Wheelchair Driver’s License Suspended
CINCINNATI, OH - On Friday, Cincinnati Regional Adults Surgical Hospital (CRASH) suspended the wheelchair driver’s license of intern Velinda Soo, who was cited for...
Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...