Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping Buttock Abscess Hospital (OLWBAH) in Tallahassee introduced a drug delivery...
Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees
BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of Memorial Hospital, Dr. Gina Stockdale, posed to her panel members....
Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War
COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation war on nurse Catherine Ragaz at 12:03 this morning.
Costa reports...
Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care
CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety. The Joint Commission released in a statement Monday, "If we truly are trying to improve...
Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing at Stapleton Airport due to an in-flight emergency. A 68-year-old...
Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not
Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues worldwide. However, what we have witnessed in the first three...
3:01 AM Lozenges Order Request Caught on Tape
BOCA RATON, FL - The following is an exclusive transcript of the explosive dialogue that has resulted in a formal reprimanding of Dr. Ann Hedonia by hospital administrators:
NURSE: “Hello?”
DOCTOR: “Yes, this is Dr. Ann Hedonia....
Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations.
"I had two patients in my ICU simultaneously," said lead author Dr. Jessica Kantor. "Both...
Reason For ICD-10 Delay: Missing Critical Section on Injuries Due to ICD-10
WASHINGTON, DC - While preparing for the introduction of ICD-10 in the US, physicians dealing with workers’ compensation realized that there was a huge section that was either neglected or purposely left out of the...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning questions that one would ask for a typical abdominal pain...
