Nursing

annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
nightingale notes on nursing

Florence Nightingale’s Notes on Nursing 2016 Interpretation

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Florence Nightingale, "The Lady with the Lamp," is the modern founder of the nursing profession and wrote Notes on Nursing: What It Is and...
turkey in code cart

Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale

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SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan....
parrot on shoulder

Health Department Gives Parrots To Patients Who Need Reminding

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MADISON, WI — The Dane County Department of Public Health has issued free parrots to 250 of the most frequently hospitalized patients in Madison....
airplane faa npo after midnight

Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest

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DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing...
loser health care job

This Just In: Your Health Care Job Sucks

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Hey YOU, that’s right, I’m talking to you. Gomerblog just wanted to take some time to let you know that your job sucks. Really....

Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...

Contact Precautions Stethoscope Will Be Replaced With Drawing of Stethoscope

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an effort to cut down on cost and auscultation, hospitals are deciding to change to a illustrated picture of a...
back injury

Hospital Administrators Sick of Dealing with Clumsy Nurses and Nursing Injuries

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HARTFORD, CT - "Seriously, another back injury claim?" questioned hospital administrator Lawrence Gates.  "Why do our clumsy nurses always go and hurt themselves on...