Hospital Institutes Popular “One for You, One for Me” Medication Policy
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a move being praised by providers and patients alike, local Have Mercy Hospital has begun implementing a "one for you,...
New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float
The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90...
New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who To Page About Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Office of the Surgeon General was thrown into chaos late last night when newly-appointed Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Sylvia...
CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing. This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire
LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to...
The Similarities & Differences Between ED and ED
Now that you can't say "ER" anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing...
Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday. Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...
Study Finds Lack of Turkey Sandwiches Correlates with Rise of Death in the ER
CHICAGO, IL - In a new study done by the Patients For Turkey Sandwiches (PFTS), it is found that a lack of turkey sandwiches...
CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left
CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold.
"You mean to tell me I started...