Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys
NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...
‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned! This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...
Nurses Supporting Fast Food Workers Wage Increase to $15/Hour, 93% of Nurses to Benefit
SILVER SPRING, MD - The American Nurses Association (ANA) made a shocking announcement today: Over 93% of Nurses would benefit from a new proposal...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even...
Nurse Ratched Unretires to Become Preschool Nurse
SALEM, OR—Nurse Ratched, the villainous nurse from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has come out of retirement to become the new nurse at...
Nurses Required to Take Swim Test After Nurse Drowns in the Float Pool
KEARNEY, NE - Staff at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) were saddened to learn that a long-time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing float...
The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...
SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover
DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...