The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...
Blood Sample Spontaneously Unhemolyzes Because Nurse Asks Nicely
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Sources from a local hospital are reporting a miracle, after a sample received by the laboratory spontaneously unhemolyzed following a discussion...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open
CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room.
"All the nurses and operating...
Local Nurse Receives Prestigious ‘Golden Nugget’ Award
"It’s an honor," gushes RN Katherine Quinn, wiping away tears.
"I’d always hoped it would be me, but I honestly didn’t think my work would...
Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...
No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment
BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...
Empowered Patient University Established, Medical and Nursing Schools Threatened
SAN JOSE, CA – A new university stands proud and tall in the heart of downtown San Jose. Empowered Patient University is enrolling its...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...