Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt
BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out. This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
“Who’s my patient’s doctor?” to be a full semester course in Nursing School
Kearney, NE - Seasoned floor nurses know and new nurses learn quickly: Figuring out whom to call for your patients can be a serious...
Apple to Introduce New Surgical Gown 7 with No Sleeves
CUPERTINO, CA - Apple Medical just announced their new line of OR gear for the new year: iSurgicalGown 7. This new line takes a...
Nurse Has License Suspended for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich. "She delivered...
Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
Sexy Nurse to Dress as Regular Nurse for Halloween
ST. LOUIS, MO - Sexy nurse Bessie Seductiva says that Halloween is her absolute favorite holiday of the year, which is why she is...
SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover
DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance
NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...