Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin
LOS ANGELES, CA - The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...
Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra
CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...
Plastic Trophy Nursing Awards Given in North Carolina
RALEIGH, NC - North Carolina has the proud distinction of being the first state in the country to require nurse licensure. In 1903, the...
Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses...
Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath
ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...
Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
