Nursing

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
hell

Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near

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THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count...

NP’s Now Able to Open Aesthetic Centers Without Physician Supervision in 23 States

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BOCA RATON, FL - With the recent legislative changes in several states, a total of 23 states now allow Nurse Practitioners to practice without physician...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...

Patient Placed on “Crazy Precautions”

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MANHASSET, NY - In a concern for a serious outbreak of crazy, Near Shore-Middle Island Jewish Medical Center went on high alert and placed...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

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BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched...
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Charge Nurse Forgets To Assign Herself Patients For Fifth Week In A Row

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Charge Nurse Cynthia Rollins recently forgot to assign herself patients….. yet again. She swears it wasn’t purposeful but rather simply a “senior moment” in...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...