Nursing

Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

0
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...
preschool

Resident Goes Back To Preschool To Learn Basic Social Skills

0
Second Year Resident Jonathan Pratt was recently admitted to ABC Preschool to learn some basic social skills that are lacking in his hospital work....
nursing diagnosis

American Nurses Association Pulls the Plug on Nursing Diagnosis

0
WASHINGTON, DC - After a close 38-to-35 vote, the leaders of the American Nurses Association (ANA) voted to eliminate the nursing diagnosis from nursing...
drug shortages

Drug Shortages Lead OR Pharmacies to Issue Motivational Items

0
Nationwide drug shortages have forced physicians to consider alternative ways to take care of patients. At the forefront of this movement is the National...

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

27
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

19
CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

105
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
sounds of hospital

“Hospital Sounds” Debuts at #1 on Billboard Music Charts

0
NEW YORK, NY - The music industry was stunned this week to find out that Hospital Sounds: The Sounds of the Hospital, an album...
urine foley catheter

After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone

9
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating.  It...