Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...
Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky
CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...
Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale
SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency. Effective Jan....
Plastic Trophy Nursing Awards Given in North Carolina
RALEIGH, NC - North Carolina has the proud distinction of being the first state in the country to require nurse licensure. In 1903, the...
News in Brief: Medication IV Pump Coincidentally Runs Out at Change of Shift
DALLAS, TX – Nurses on Mercy Hospital’s floor 4, med-surg unit, are perplexed. "The Alaris pumps seem to always run out 20 minutes after...
God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning
HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...