Nursing

patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...

Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE

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A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative. "I'm so happy to live in a country where supplies...
Mannequin Challenge

Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...
respiratory monitor

Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data

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Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in...

Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers

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A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...

By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER

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HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...