Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones
SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them
out...
New IV Pumps Have Silence Button Lasting 24 Hours
GREENVILLE, SC - Hailing it as 2019's best new medical invention, a new IV pump by Shmalaris is like any other competitor's IV pump...
Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home
MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours...
How to Put on a Contact Isolation Gown
If you've never done it before, putting on a contact isolation gown can be quite tricky. It might be easier to put on a...
Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line
CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
Nurse Raises the Post-Nominal Letter Bar
PORTLAND, OR - Nurse Ruth Scrittle, ASN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, MBA, CEN, ACLS, CENP, FAEN, is actively petitioning to have additional letters added...