Nursing

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...
explosion

Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust

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MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...

Updated 2016 Med/Surg Unit Inventory Guidelines

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It’s that time of year to take inventory of what’s on our Med/Surg units.  These things are required for the quintessential Med/Surg experience.  Bust out...
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass...
code doorframe

RN Shocked Code Isn’t Etched Somewhere on Door, Doorframe

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Confronted with a locked door with an electronic keypad, a nurse was shocked to find that the code was not blatantly...
Nursing Pages Per Shift

New Study: Physician Douche Level Correlates With Number Of Nursing Pages Per Shift

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HARTFORD, CT - A new study published in JAMA this week demonstrated a direct correlation between the physician douche level (PDL) and and the number...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...

‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...

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COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned!  This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...
styrofoam stetoscope

Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope

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ABSTRACT Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...
nurse float pool

Nurses Required to Take Swim Test After Nurse Drowns in the Float Pool

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KEARNEY, NE - Staff at Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) were saddened to learn that a long-time nurse Lara Kennedy drowned in the nursing float...