Nursing

Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine

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PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...
CPR

CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler

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Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing.  This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...

Breaking News: THE PATIENT POOPED!!!

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DURHAM, NC - HE POOPED!!!!  OMG!!!  Thank heavens!  GomerBlog can’t believe the news we’re about to deliver!  But he did it!  HE DID IT!!!...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...
dick prick urologist urology

Short on Wound VACs, Surgeon Slaps On Hoover

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Nearing completion of the debridement of an infected wound but learning that the hospital was short on wound VACs, University...

Hospital Administrator: It’s Important to Have Work-Life Imbalance

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NEW YORK, NY - Hospital administrator Todd Williams told media today that he understands that burnout among health care practitioners is a very real...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Monty Python

Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration

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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983.  Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...