Nursing

Particularly Rough Night on Inpatient Psych Ward Inspired Angry Turds Game Franchise

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BENTONVILLE, AR - In a classic example of art imitating life, a disgruntled inpatient psychiatric nurse created the now famous Angry Turds franchise of...
airplane faa npo after midnight

Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest

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DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...

New Study Finds CRNAs Just as Good at Taking Breaks as Anesthesiologists

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BOSTON, MA – A new study published in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists found that CRNA’s are just as proficient...
Foley, bloodbath

Patient Can’t Wait to Yank Out Foley, Cause Bloodbath

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ATLANTA, GA - In exciting news today, patient Arnold Starks has announced that later today he will yank out his Foley with "full force...

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...

Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care

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CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety.  The Joint Commission released in...
yellow isolation ballroom gown

Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning

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PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by...
hospital holiday party

Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises

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FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees...