Nursing

ER phone line

Nursing Advice Line Renamed ‘Go to ER’ Line

0
CHICAGO, IL - In a stunning announcement today, leadership at the Association for Telephonic Nurse Advisors reported that effective June 1st their flagship "Nurse...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

0
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Elderly Male Patient Enjoying Foley Catheter, Refuses Removal

1
SPANISH FORT, AL - South Hospital has taken a brave step to become latex free by 2016.  The board voted to replace the soft, elastic,...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

0
BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

0
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...

Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store

13
BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis.  While in the hospital for over...
pain in elbow

A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale

26
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management.  A new scale has been devolved...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

0
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

0
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

43
BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...