Nursing

wound care don't care

Exhausted RN to Go Home with Home Health Services

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FORT MYERS, FL - Deconditioned, weak, and perpetually hypoglycemic from such a prolonged hospital shift, exhausted RN Catherine Weal will be sent home with...

Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween

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HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween. “Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It

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BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
Monty Python

Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration

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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983.  Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
double portions

No Way, Jose: Patient Request for Double Portions Denied, Made NPO as Punishment

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BALDWIN, NY - In a defiant stance against a patient Rick Moravsky's request for double portions despite his ongoing treatment for CHF (congestive heart failure)...

Patient Gives Hospital 1-Star Rating on TripAdvisor

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LANGDON, ND – After a recent 43-day admission, local resident Sylvia McElroy reviewed her stay at Cavalier County Memorial Hospital with a disappointing 1-star...
tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

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BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the...

Half Slice of Cake Left for Night Shift

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Keeping with longstanding tradition, med-surg dayshift nurses consumed all the break room cake except for half of a slice. “Thank you to all the doctors...

Shaq Mistakes Male Nurse for a Murse

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MIAMI, FL – Shaquille O’Neil held a public relations press conference yesterday explaining what led him to carry around a grown man for almost a week. "I...