ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead
ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in...
Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
Miss Colorado Goes on “The View” Wearing Contact Precautions
NEW YORK, NY - Recently Joy Baher and her The View colleagues disrespected Miss Colorado, Kelly Johnson RN, and her talent of nursing. Nursing, a...
In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Urology to Use Nutcracker in OR During the Holidays
TOPEKA, KS – Urologists at Mercy Hospital have announced plans to perform surgery with the help of an 8-foot-tall wooden nutcracker during the holiday...
New IV Pumps Have Silence Button Lasting 24 Hours
GREENVILLE, SC - Hailing it as 2019's best new medical invention, a new IV pump by Shmalaris is like any other competitor's IV pump...
Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon
If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement. But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....