After Meticulously Changing Wound Dressing, Nurse Looks Forward to Doctor Immediately Effing It Up
BIRMINGHAM, AL - After taking 20 minutes to meticulously clean and beautifully redress an elderly patient's dressing over her sacral decubitus wound, nurse Brittany...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved
MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius. Such is the case with Northrop...
Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing. Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...
Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...
ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...
Scrubs Teaches Us That “Everything Comes Down to Poo”
In the "My Musical" episode of Scrubs, we learn that no matter, whatever a patient suffers from, EVERYTHING comes down to poo! Watch this clip...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals? Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...