Nursing

urine foley catheter

Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones

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SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them out...

Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself

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JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure.  Starting to walk out of the room...

New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float

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The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
I try to be a nurse

ZDoggMD: I Try

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Dr. Zubin Damania aka ZDoggMD is at it again with a fantastic parody of Macy Gray: "I Try (To Be A Nurse)."  If you enjoyed...
call button nursing lockout interval

American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals

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SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...

Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left

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CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold. "You mean to tell me I started...
surgery

Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected

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KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7.  Dr. Knightsville took a...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
hospital

Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’

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Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient.  To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...