Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe
NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near
THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...
Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project
RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...
The Similarities & Differences Between ED and ED
Now that you can't say "ER" anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing...
Nurse confines fidgety med student in OR to Bouncy Seat
Phoenix, AZ: In what can only be described as an act of creative desperation, circulating nurse Susan Bremington found a novel way of dealing...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We...
Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the...