Nursing

OR Case Canceled Due to No Remaining Time Outs

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The first case of the day at Saint Methodist Maplewood hospital was canceled due to no remaining time outs prior to incision. Circulator, Renee Count...

Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously

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CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...

Nurse confines fidgety med student in OR to Bouncy Seat

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Phoenix, AZ: In what can only be described as an act of creative desperation, circulating nurse Susan Bremington found a novel way of dealing...
estrogen toxicity

Estrogen Toxicity Spectrum Disorder

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A recent study by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has identified categorized the strange personality and behavior changes of male nursing...
ipad for nurses

Hospital to Replace Clipboard Nurses with iPad Nurses

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SEATTLE, WA - Greater Seattle Memorial Hospital announced plans earlier today to replace its clipboard nurses with iPad nurses.  Specifically, senior-level nursing personnel who...

‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...

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COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned!  This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...
nurses bench press

As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters

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ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...
social worker

New Social Worker Way More Social Than She is a Worker

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NEW YORK, NY - It hasn’t taken long for health care providers at Mount Sinai Hospital to realize that Amanda Johnson, a new social worker...
yellow isolation ballroom gown

Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning

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PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by...