Schizophrenics’ Voices Get To Fill Out Patient Satisfaction Forms
MADISON, WI — When RN Tara Noluck got summoned to see her nursing supervisor about a low patient satisfaction score, she didn’t worry too...
Shaq Mistakes Male Nurse for a Murse
MIAMI, FL – Shaquille O’Neil held a public relations press conference yesterday explaining what led him to carry around a grown man for almost a week.
"I...
Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely
NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...
Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P
QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones
SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them
out...
CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
Daughter of Patient Shocked to Discover There Are Other Patients On the Floor
HAYS, KS - Earlier today Ellie Opter was flabbergasted upon the realization that there were other people on the medical floor that her mother...
RN Relieved to Find Out That Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse
HASTINGS, CA – Jenny Pasternak, an ICU nurse, was “very worried” about her shift tonight. “I have been working as a nurse for 14 years...
General Medicine Floor Smells a Little Less like Death Today
TUCSON, AZ - Employees of the general medicine floor at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital arrived to work on Monday morning to a unit that smelled...
CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing. This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...