Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications
NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....
As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits More Football Players and Weightlifters
ATLANTA, GA — An old joke asks, “What do you call a nurse with a bad back?” The punchline is “unemployed.” As Americans get...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Video: 10/10 Abdominal Pain While Eating Doritos & Talking on Her Cell Phone
We sat down with Dr. Gomez, a doctor who treated a patient with 10/10 abdominal pain while eating Doritos and talking on her cell...
CDC Recommends Not Tying Gown in Back to Promote Airflow Through Ass Crack
ATLANTA, GA - After a thorough review of the evidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) will make the formal recommendation that...
How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000. This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell
9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...
Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy
NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters. He asked her the usual morning...
Blood Sample Spontaneously Unhemolyzes Because Nurse Asks Nicely
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Sources from a local hospital are reporting a miracle, after a sample received by the laboratory spontaneously unhemolyzed following a discussion...