Nursing

Updated 2016 Med/Surg Unit Inventory Guidelines

0
It’s that time of year to take inventory of what’s on our Med/Surg units.  These things are required for the quintessential Med/Surg experience.  Bust out...

AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...

0
Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

18
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...

Breaking News: Attending Surgeon Follows Management Advice of Attractive New Nurse

4
NEW YORK, NY - Earlier this morning on rounds at St. Daniel’s Hospital in New York City, surgical residents and veteran nurses alike were astounded by...

Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote

0
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...

Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables

0
With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround. “We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...
shag OR

Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’

0
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet.  One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...
mimosa

Night Shift Nurse Associates Sunrise with Mimosas

0
28-year-old nightshift nurse Rene Wilkins has come to appreciate sunrise for several reasons, one to include drinking multiple mimosas at John’s Breakfast Hut at...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

1
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...

Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell

0
9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to...