Nursing

Hospital to Reduce Infections by Coating Patients In Anti-Bacterial Ointment

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CHICAGO, IL - Chicago General Hospital is beginning a new initiative to reduce infections in the hospital. Dr. Reiff Lightlier, CMO of the hospital,...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
nurse eye roll

Breaking News: Nurse’s Eyes Get Stuck After Aggressive Eye Roll

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ORLANDO, FL - Beth Stanfield, a middle-aged nurse, was transported to the ophthalmology department earlier today when her eyes got stuck in an aggressive...
call room

After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
patient survey

Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys

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NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...
naptime for medical residents

Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) just passed a new residency requirement that mandates residents and interns to take a 30-minute...
respiratory monitor

Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data

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Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
nurse lunch

Administrators Throw Nursing Appreciation Lunch, Nurses Too Short-Staffed to Attend

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“They just don’t appreciate our appreciation!” exclaimed CEO Benjamin Green, referencing the absence of nurses as he gathered with his fellow administrators in Good...