Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000. This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
Contact Precautions Stethoscope Will Be Replaced With Drawing of Stethoscope
CHARLESTON, SC - In an effort to cut down on cost and auscultation, hospitals are deciding to change to a illustrated picture of a...
Breaking: Joy Behar Hospitalized, Wonders ‘Why Are There So Many People Pretending to Be...
NEW YORK, NY – Reports are coming in from NYU where Joy Behar was hospitalized recently. Due to her recent celebrity status among health...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...
MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets...
Level 1 Drama Algorithm for the Emergency Department
We have all been there when a Level 1 Drama call comes through the doors. New evidence has led to the creation of a...
Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye
ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up. There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...