Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
Hospital Administrators Sick of Dealing with Clumsy Nurses and Nursing Injuries
HARTFORD, CT - "Seriously, another back injury claim?" questioned hospital administrator Lawrence Gates. "Why do our clumsy nurses always go and hurt themselves on...
Joint Commission Cites Itself as a Major Hindrance to Medical Care
CHICAGO, IL - This past Thursday, the Joint Commission officially cited itself as a major obstacle for patient care and safety. The Joint Commission released in...
Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift
MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday. At approximately 7:04 a.m.,...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Debtflix: View School Debt On-Demand Anytime, Anywhere
LOS GATOS, CA - Netflix, a leading provider of subscription-based on-demand streaming media to over 70 million people worldwide, revealed a new service called...
Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015
INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for...
Nurse Disappointed to Receive Patient on Broken Inpatient Bed
CHICAGO, IL - RN Rebecca Stanton was in shock and disbelief today when she received a patient from the OR backwards, soiled, and in...