Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Thai Cave Divers to Locate Obese Patient’s Genitals
KEARNEY, NE - With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600-lb. man’s...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Ticks to Assist Phlebotomists With Patients Who Are Tough IV Sticks
There are many examples of animal helpers in healthcare. Examples range from assistance dogs to even modern day leeches that provide anti-coagulation to surgical...
CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
Nurse Finds Filing Incident Report More Efficient Than Completing Restraint Documentation
It all started when Kathy Matthews, an ICU nurse at Mercy Hospital in Detroit, was chided by management for documenting her patient's restraints ten...
Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...
BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...