Prima Donna Surgeon Can’t be Bothered to Dress Self
AUGUSTA, GA – Saying they are “sick and tired” of waiting on surgeons hand and foot (mostly hands), operating room nurses at nearby Mercy...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
New Law Now Requires Nurses to Obtain Hunting License Before Preying on New Interns
SACRAMENTO, CA – The controversial bill which aims to protect new interns from being exploited by hospital staff was signed into law by Governor...
Daughter of Patient Shocked to Discover There Are Other Patients On the Floor
HAYS, KS - Earlier today Ellie Opter was flabbergasted upon the realization that there were other people on the medical floor that her mother...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
NICU Patient Graduates High School
ST. LOUIS, MO – It’s a special occasion in the life of J’ramyah Boba Fett, as he overcomes the odds stacked against him by...
Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected
NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected. “We...
ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs
WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...
Hospital Administrators Sick of Dealing with Clumsy Nurses and Nursing Injuries
HARTFORD, CT - "Seriously, another back injury claim?" questioned hospital administrator Lawrence Gates. "Why do our clumsy nurses always go and hurt themselves on...