Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire
LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to...
Slow-A** Da Vinci Holds Up Lines, Taking Forever to Vote
WASHINGTON, DC - The Da Vinci Surgical Robot is proudly exercising his right to vote this Election Day, but here's the problem: he's slow...
Breaking News: Ah Crap, You-Know-Who is Back in the ER
YOUR HOSPITAL, YOUR CITY, YOUR STATE - Ah, crap. GomerBlog is sad to report… GomerBlog really doesn’t want to tell you this. But we feel...
After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Medical Student Draws Blood for the First Time, Prefers Using Markers Over Crayon
In a rural hospital in West Virginia, Vance Agarwal a fourth year medical student nearing the end of a rural medicine elective had the...
American Nurses Association Approves Call Lights with Lockout Intervals
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an effort to bolster nursing satisfaction, the American Nurses Association (ANA) have unanimously approved the replacement of current call...
Health Department Gives Parrots To Patients Who Need Reminding
MADISON, WI — The Dane County Department of Public Health has issued free parrots to 250 of the most frequently hospitalized patients in Madison....
Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey
CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...