Nursing

nurses station

The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet

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The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...

Mandatory Rectal Tone Checks Reduce Non-Emergent ER Visits

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NEWARK, NJ - Grace Regional's ER physicians complained to leadership for years about the excess number of patients going to the ER for non-emergent...
big sur Mother Nature

Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement

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BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
guitar

Clinical Scenarios & Songs That Pair Well Together

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We all know about performing CPR to The Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive.  That got us thinking: Maybe we should think of songs for other...

Northeast Hospital the First to Institute Eyebrow Covers

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A recent change in the rules governing the role of hair coverage has caused a frenzy among all surgical staff. Whereas before, a bouffant...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
normal saline

Medical Memes Galore!

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doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...