Pathology

autopsy

Pathologist Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Autopsy in the Morning

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to minimize aspiration and prevent any further delays in management, forensic pathologist Dr. Jason Martin has made his...
morgue

Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”

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CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

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GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
premortem autopsy NPO after midnight autopsy

Pathologist Gets Head Start with Premortem Autopsy

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ATLANTA, GA - Inspired by the Food & Drug Administration's recent approval of postmortem chemotherapy, forensic pathologist Thomas Read recently decided to get a...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...