chemotherapy

FDA Approves Groundbreaking Postmortem Chemotherapy Protocol

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BOCA RATON, FL - Sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, the Food & Drug Administration approved a postmortem chemotherapy regimen to be administered after...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...

Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria

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ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday.  24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
calling pathologist

Calling Pathologists Multiple Times Does Not Expedite Reports, Study Finds

0
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – A new study sponsored by the College of American Pathologists concluded that there is an inverse correlation between the number of...
emotional scar collagen

Pathologists Find Emotional Scars Also Made of Collagen

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CHICAGO, IL - A fascinating new report from the American Society for Clinical Pathology (ASCP) explains emotional scars are actually made up of the...

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

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LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...

Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus

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ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

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BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

4
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...