Pathology

angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

0
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

5
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

0
BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
pathology slide

Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist

0
BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

0
DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

0
BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

0
We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
pathology

Dermatopathologist Unable to “Rule Out Pathology” on Skin Biopsy

0
NEW YORK, NY - After nearly six months of work up, local dermatopathologist Dr. Jerry Smith finally has to admit defeat. He simply can...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

39
BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...