Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1. Let’s go!
Nutrition
Translation: Like it or...
Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM
MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...
Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus
ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products
PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice. Unfortunately, few options...
Everyone, We Mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board
BALTIMORE, MD - With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Pathologists Running Out of Food (Terms)
SEATTLE, WA - At the national meeting for pathologists, a packed, plenary session on the impending crisis of pathologic terms was held. For years now,...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...