red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

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PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options...

Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM

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MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...
pathologist

CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’

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ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...

Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

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DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report. At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...

Be Like Bill Medical Collection – Part 1

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screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

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LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...

Video: Thrift Lab (Parody)

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What, pathologists are people? And they are hilarious?!?!?! Check this unbelievable rap parody by the UF pathology team, and if you've seen it before,...