Pathology

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
pathology

Dermatopathologist Unable to “Rule Out Pathology” on Skin Biopsy

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NEW YORK, NY - After nearly six months of work up, local dermatopathologist Dr. Jerry Smith finally has to admit defeat. He simply can...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

4
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
fresh-squeezed frozen plasma

Outdoor Blood Bank Stand Offers Fresh-Squeezed Frozen Plasma

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In the hopes of luring more patients, Knoxville General Hospital has setup an outdoor blood bank stand boasting that their frozen...
feet

Pathologists Criticized for Having High Proportion of Terminally-Ill, Cancer-Diagnosed, and Deceased Patients

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CHICAGO,  IL - As greater attention is drawn to patient outcome and patient satisfaction, new specialty specific data has revealed that pathologist’s patients are...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

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RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
medical examiner

Medical Examiners Lobby For Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows To Be In Smell-O-Vision

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WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and...