Pyxis Surgeon General

Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General

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WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...
polar vortex

Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth

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LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
sneezy

Sneezy Files $5 Million Malpractice Suit Against Doc

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ORLANDO, FL - Sneezy, a sickly member of the so called, “Seven Dwarves,” filed a malpractice suit yesterday against his fellow dwarf, Doc, for...

FDA: Keep Reusing Your Mask Until You Eventually Catch Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acknowledging the current shortage of both N95 and surgical masks, the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a very...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

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KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...
sensual rescue breaths

New AHA CPR Guidelines Introduce “Sensual” Rescue Breaths

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DALLAS, TX - In a change of course from recent guidelines which stressed hands on chest-only CPR for bystanders, the American Heart Association (AHA) has...
urological association

Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”

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It is the Season of Giving.  Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam....
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
staph staff

Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins

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DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to...