Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper

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Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...

Nervous Rituals Now Billable As Preventative Care

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HEAVERNER, OK - Luck of the Draw Medical Center (LDMC) has been featured on GomerBlog before because of porcelain bedpan incantations proven to ward off...

Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States

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NIGERIA - Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided...

Amazing! Instant Pot Turns Graham Crackers Into Beef Stroganoff

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DALLAS, TX - Score another big win for Instant Pot and its followers: Following a brutal overnight call, second-year internal medicine resident and Instant...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
Johnson & Johnson asbestos baby powder

Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the company knew asbestos has been in its baby powder for...
polar vortex

Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth

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LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...

“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at...
whole milk

Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations

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With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...