miss universal healthcare

Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare

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BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...

Joint Commission Announces Pyramids of Punishment for Patient Safety Violations

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CHICAGO, IL - In a recent press release, the Joint Commission (known as JACHO) announced the implementation of a punishment system for health care...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
nutritionist

Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist

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ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...

‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals is just a pipe dream, Acting Director of the Centers...
ketchup packet

Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working

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MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...
placebo pill

Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo

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After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects.  We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...
colonoscopy

Gastroenterologists Recommend Daily Screening Colonoscopy

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BETHESDA, MD - In an effort to improve colorectal cancer screening in the United States, where it is the second leading cause of cancer...

Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store

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BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis.  While in the hospital for over...