CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
Hospital Opens New Outdoor Wintertime Med-Surg Unit
BIRMINGHAM, AL - This winter season has been historically busy with influenza A wreaking havoc on health care systems, which are filled to the...
Archeologists Discover Ancient Disability Papyrus
GREECE - Last week on the Greek island of Lesbos, a team of archaeologists unearthed a primitive disability papyrus signed by Hippocrates himself in 405...
CDC Director Resigns, Becomes CEO of Tobacco Giant Philip Morris
ATLANTA, GA - The Director of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Brenda Fitzgerald has officially resigned her CDC post to become CEO of tobacco...
Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”
It is the Season of Giving. Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam....
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...
Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices
ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!! The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated...