davinci robot

COVID-19 Breakthrough: Redeployed Da Vinci Can Swab One Patient Per Day

0
BOSTON, MA - In what is already considered the biggest breakthrough against COVID-19 in the United States, surgeons report that Da Vinci robots have...
clinic organ samples

Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples

0
OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor?  Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. ...

Study: Inverse Relationship Between IQ, Reproductive Capacity

0
BATON ROUGE, LA - A prospective, observational study out of Baton Rouge reports intelligence is inversely related to reproductive capacity.  Investigators quote compelling data...
dog vaccine

Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified

0
HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true.  Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism.  The news came following a monumental...

Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked

168
COLUMBUS, OH - A local hospital is trying a new, controversial but more efficient approach to medical care.  “We have changed our guidelines, if you...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

0
WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against Rolling Around Naked with Coronavirus-Positive Patient for Hours on End

0
ATLANTA, GA - In updated guidelines just published on its website, the Centers of Disease & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends against rolling around naked...
webmd kiosk

Health Experts Amazed at Diagnostic Ability of New WebMD Kiosks

0
CHICAGO, IL - A new plan unveiled by WebMD plans to take strain off of primary care physicians. "This is undoubtedly the next step in...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

9
BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...

Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs

7
MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations.  In an unprecedented move...