Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact
When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the...
Medical Emojis Translated for the Masses
Are you new to medicine? Or born before 1991? We have all your medical emojis right here with the translation so you can get...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”
ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...
To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...
ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...
Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...
Opinion: Like Michigan Leaders, I Also Prefer My Water Corrosive and Full of Lead
I’m sure you’re reading about the Flint water crisis and thinking the same thing as me: Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, the state’s Department of...
Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...
Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states
SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating. This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...