CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’

0
ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!"...

Nation Washes Hands for the First Time

0
NASHVILLE, TN - The coronavirus from Wuhan, China is a global pandemic. People are terrified. Hoarding toilet paper, cleaning out grocery stores, and now...

Breaking: Scott Pruitt Leaves EPA to Join Hospital Ethics Committee

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald J. Trump announced over Twitter this afternoon that Scott Pruitt will be leaving his leadership role as Administrator of...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

2
KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...

Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...

AMA: Casino Cruise Business ‘In the Works’

0
CHICAGO, IL - The American Medical Association (AMA) was initially formed to represent the interests of physicians and "to promote the art and science of...

Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

0
ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...

Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl Wanders Off Medicine Floor, Gets Captured by Surgery

14
SAN ANTONIO, TX – Sgt. Bergdahl was being treated by an internal medicine team at Hope Mercy Hospital for routine care on Wednesday, when he...
Obese Guy with BMI Classification

BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”

0
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...

Telemedicine Doctor Probably Wearing Shorts, Possibly Only Boxers

0
BOCA RATON, FL -- Patients have long wondered what telemedicine provider Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram is wearing on the bottom half of his body during remote...