CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction
ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and...
Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars
LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet. It...
AMA: Casino Cruise Business ‘In the Works’
CHICAGO, IL - The American Medical Association (AMA) was initially formed to represent the interests of physicians and "to promote the art and science of...
CDC Recommends Against Any Advice to “Eat Sh*t and Die”
ATLANTA, GA - Contrary to what that angry dude might have just screamed at you, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention recommends against...
10 Photos From the 2017 American Diabetes Association Conference They Don’t Want You to...
The American Diabetes Association (ADA) was relentlessly mocked on Twitter over the weekend for asking conference attendees to remove any tweets that contain photography...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care service, Earth has decided to remain Full Code.
“Hey now, I’m...
Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store
BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis. While in the hospital for over...
Tips: Is It Allergies or COVID-19?
With coronavirus (COVID-19) season starting up and allergy season fresh upon us, we wanted to give you some tips on how to tell the...
Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...