Olympic Hospital Ready to Treat Athletes and Fans From Deadly Brazil

0
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - The 2016 games are predicted to be the most deadly since the 100 AD games when many Christians lost to...
Obese Guy with BMI Classification

BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”

0
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

2
MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

0
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
Cookie Monster Sexy Bod

Looking Hot! Cookie Monster Shows Off New Sexy Bod After Trading in Cookies for...

0
JUST WEST OF SESAME STREET - Holy sexiness, Batman!  So much has been happening in the news recently that it's hard to lose sight...

Run-4-the-Cure 5k Fun Run, 3 Runners Shy of Cure

3
ATLANTA, GA - The 23rd annual "Race-4-the-Cure Fun Run & Walk" released a statement Monday: "Our annual Fun Run & Walk fell 3 runners short...

COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks...

Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming.  President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go...