Batman Histoplasmosis

Breaking: Batman Diagnosed with COVID-19

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GOTHAM CITY - Less than two years after he was hospitalized for pulmonary histoplasmosis, Batman has bounced back to Gotham City Medical Center...
Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino

Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino is a Colorful & Fun Way to Get Diabetes

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SEATTLE, WA - Starbucks' new limited-edition Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, available only from April 19 to April 23, is a fun, colorful, and magical way...

Google to Deploy Self-Driving Colonoscopes

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PALO ALTO, CA - Google has started to roll out their self-driving colonoscopies.  "We are very excited about this new technology," said CEO Sundar Pichai....

Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy.  The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known...

Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016

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The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated.  The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here....
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
noodles that look like roundworms

Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms

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ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
vaginal bleeding

Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding

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My name is Valerie.  I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life.  I'm happily married and have two...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year

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ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...