CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Why Not: CDC Recommends Adding Vanco & Zosyn to the Water

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ATLANTA, GA - Finally accepting the reality that antibiotic stewardship among health care professionals is just a pipe dream, Acting Director of the Centers...

Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an...

Amazing! Instant Pot Turns Graham Crackers Into Beef Stroganoff

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DALLAS, TX - Score another big win for Instant Pot and its followers: Following a brutal overnight call, second-year internal medicine resident and Instant...

Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication

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PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers.  Bale is a product...

CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak

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ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause.  It...

Breaking: Scott Pruitt Leaves EPA to Join Hospital Ethics Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald J. Trump announced over Twitter this afternoon that Scott Pruitt will be leaving his leadership role as Administrator of...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...

Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition

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Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years.  This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
Nurses must now wear reflective belts

Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications

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NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....
lab test

New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels

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BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...