COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after President Trump declared a national emergency due to COVID-19, the House of Representatives passed a bill in a vote...
crying infant

Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’

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NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
herpes, Hillary Clinton

Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’

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WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week

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ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America?  In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...

Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax

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ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...

Oh No! The House Just Repealed Obama’s Care, Now Barack Obama Doesn’t Have Health...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The House of Representatives just passed the repeal of Obama's Care.  Now it is impossible for Barack Obama to have health coverage....

Nervous Rituals Now Billable As Preventative Care

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HEAVERNER, OK - Luck of the Draw Medical Center (LDMC) has been featured on GomerBlog before because of porcelain bedpan incantations proven to ward off...

Local Mom Decides Against New Brake Pads

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MICHIGAN - Local mom, Jennifer Leeders, brought in her Acura MDX for its annual maintenance.  Her mechanic recommended new brake pads, a routine recommendation....