Finally, A Story About Weiner’s Junk that Gets Him OUT of Trouble

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NEW YORK, NY - Embattled New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has endured scorching attacks from the media on all sides about his questionable...

Unattended Orthopedic Surgeon Left in Hot Van

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PHOENIX, AZ - A tragedy occurred at Sacred Heart Hospital on Tuesday.  A couple of patients discovered an unattended orthopedic surgeon in a scorching hot van...

COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available,...
charting more charting meaning of life

Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting

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AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
beef rib

Beef Rib Named Official State Fruit of Texas

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LOCKHART, TX - Say goodbye to the Texas red grapefruit as the official state fruit of Texas.  Texas legislators will meet later tomorrow in...
toilet paper

FDA Recommends Americans Reuse Toilet Paper

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - It is well-known that we are still in the midst of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. In a...

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...

Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying

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“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...

ID Clinic Handing Out Free Chastity Belts

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - An infectious diseases clinic is thinking outside the box in an effort to promote safe sex practices by passing out free...

COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE

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BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to...