Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...
COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients...
CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs
ATLANTA, GA - Say it isn't so! The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has just announced that it cannot and will not...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Report: Medical School Limiting the Number of Creepy Applicants to Cut Down on Creepy...
OMAHA, NE – Creighton University led the nation last year in normal to above normal applicants. "We have a pretty good applicant pool when...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a...
ICD-10 to Include Code for ‘Dr. Oz Says,’ Automatic Trigger for Level 5 Visit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ICD-10 has recently added a last minute section to include codes for an epidemic that has been creeping into US...
OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug
Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal.
NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...