Ebola Virus: I’m Really Uncomfortable with All This Attention I’m Getting
Good morning, American citizens. Let me introduce myself: I'm the Ebola virus.
PLEASE! Calm down, calm down and please allow me a few words. I...
Words With Friends to Add HIPAA-Compliant Messaging
The popular mobile game, Words With Friends, just added HIPAA compliant secure messaging. Spokesperson Gene Catterspolti said, "It was a highly requested feature as many...
New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market
CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...
Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%
WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Why I Became a Hospital Administrator
After carefully surveying the shifting American healthcare landscape for the past decade, I retired from my increasingly headache filled private practice and said to...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops. Dan...
New OpenBed Medical App May Revolutionize Hospital Visits
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The makers of OpenTable, the world’s leading provider of dining reservations online, have released a new healthcare-based website and medical...
NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades. Successful travel to and habitation of...