Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...
Breaking: Batman Diagnosed with COVID-19
GOTHAM CITY - Less than two years after he was hospitalized for pulmonary histoplasmosis, Batman has bounced back to Gotham City Medical Center...
Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo
After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects. We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...
Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...
Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary. It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...
Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops. Dan...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...
Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE
A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative.
"I'm so happy to live in a country where supplies...