cdc

CDC Official: I Want You to Think Really Hard as You Personally Battle Ebola

3
Hi.  I work for the CDC and I was assigned to your case I traveled from Atlanta as soon as I heard the news....
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

24
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
Doc McStuffins, Lambie

Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended

0
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...

Doctor Excited to Get New, Last Year’s People Magazine for Waiting Room

0
NAPERVILLE, IL - Dr. Nyugen's waiting room will be packed when word gets out they have the country's most-recent People magazine.  "I'm trying it...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...

COVID-19: Thankful On-Call ID Doc Paged Only 43,589 Times Today

0
BOSTON, MA - Despite America coming to a screeching halt at the hands of a pandemic caused by novel coronavirus COVID-19, a very thankful...

Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success

29
ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube...

Man Claims to Have Caught Ebola from Flu Shot

16
DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot.  The irony is found in contracting a...

A Breakup Letter to the Z-Pack

0
Dear Z-Pack, We’ve had a good run together. But, my dearest azithromycin, it is time for us to end our love affair. It’s not you....

Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus

0
BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...