COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available,...
Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday. Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
Sneezy Files $5 Million Malpractice Suit Against Doc
ORLANDO, FL - Sneezy, a sickly member of the so called, “Seven Dwarves,” filed a malpractice suit yesterday against his fellow dwarf, Doc, for...
Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs
MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations. In an unprecedented move...
Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...
Johnson & Johnson Doubles Down With 100% Asbestos Baby Powder
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Despite stocks plummeting 11% after a Reuters report claimed the company knew asbestos has been in its baby powder for...
Starbucks Offering Frappuccino Drips for a Limited Time
SEATTLE, WA - To help mitigate caffeine withdrawal in its hospitalized customers, Starbucks will be partnering with inpatient pharmacies for a limited time to...
Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st
LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an...