Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients

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NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...
Nurses must now wear reflective belts

Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications

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NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....

This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall.  Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...
charting more charting meaning of life

Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting

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AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Salmonella Special

Cafeteria’s Salmonella Special Particularly Tasty Today

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MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Medical Center are impressed with the hospital cafeteria's offerings today, which include the usual stalwarts like the Burnt...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
patient takes health

Breaking News: American Patient Takes Responsibility for Own Health

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - During multidisciplinary rounds on a cardiology unit at the University of Virginia Medical Center (UVAMC), a glimmer of hope was revealed...

OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug

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Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal. NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
Teratoma

Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary.  It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week

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ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America?  In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...