Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock
MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis
DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday. Dubbya said he...
FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in...
COVID-19 Breakthrough: Redeployed Da Vinci Can Swab One Patient Per Day
BOSTON, MA - In what is already considered the biggest breakthrough against COVID-19 in the United States, surgeons report that Da Vinci robots have...
NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades. Successful travel to and habitation of...
BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...