Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's...
FIFA Requiring “Soccer Biter” to Have Brain Biopsy to Look for Rabies
BRAZIL - In a stunning announcement today, FIFA officials will require Luis Suarez, the Uruguayan soccer player who bit Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini in the...
This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall. Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...
Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
Doctor Puts Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips and Salsa in Waiting Room, Business Booms
Dr. Dufunk, while watching Dancing with the Stars with his wife, noticed during a commercial that putting Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips out in your...
Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream
LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait. ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today. ZDogg...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...
Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs
MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations. In an unprecedented move...
Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact
When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the...
Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...