Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog has just learned that the anti-vaccination (or anti-vaxxer) movement has now pledged to refuse vaccination against the cooties, this on...
Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...
Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella
DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella. Visitors to Disneyland...
Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%
WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided...
Report: Medical School Limiting the Number of Creepy Applicants to Cut Down on Creepy...
OMAHA, NE – Creighton University led the nation last year in normal to above normal applicants. "We have a pretty good applicant pool when...
Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional...
Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones
BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States
NIGERIA - Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided...
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...