influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse

0
SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse...

Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2

0
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
virtual runner treadmill

Treadmill Drama: A**Hole Virtual Runner Won’t Move Out of the Way

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - With a rare opportunity to exercise, third-year surgical resident Jason Mann's excitement to go running on his apartment complex treadmill this...
heparin bridge

Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85

0
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...

No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day

0
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

0
ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...

CDC: Test Kits Are Low, Critically Ill & Famous People Only

0
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released new guidelines today to to help ration COVID-19 testing kits. They now ask to refrain from testing for...

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

26
WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...

Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...