CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

45
ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...

Local Man Upset He’s Not Getting His Healthcare Money’s Worth

0
DAYTON, OH - Local resident, Phil Summers, complained that he isn’t getting his "money’s worth" when it comes to healthcare.  "I am in top...
meatball sub

Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus

0
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Reduce Carbon Dioxide, CDC Recommends Against Exhalation

0
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to help reduce atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) levels, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued...

Actors Who Played TV Doctors Offered Honorary Medical Degrees, Can’t Afford Them

1
BOSTON, MA - Esteemed actors Hugh Laurie (House, M.D.), Zach Braff (Scrubs), and George Clooney (ER), known for their masterful portrayals of physicians on...

Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart

0
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth....
pediatrics vaccines

Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence

63
ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines.  It has been well documented that some...
injection

New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market

0
CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...

Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming.  President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go...

Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...