Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Affordable Care Act to Close Donut Hole with Delicious Strawberry Filling
WASHINGTON, DC - For years, the Medicare Part D coverage gap or “donut hole” had always left senior citizens with a less-than-sweet taste in...
10 Photos From the 2017 American Diabetes Association Conference They Don’t Want You to...
The American Diabetes Association (ADA) was relentlessly mocked on Twitter over the weekend for asking conference attendees to remove any tweets that contain photography...
New AHA CPR Guidelines Introduce “Sensual” Rescue Breaths
DALLAS, TX - In a change of course from recent guidelines which stressed hands on chest-only CPR for bystanders, the American Heart Association (AHA) has...
Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...
Hospital Debuts Combination Clinic/Pharmacy Drive-Thru
RALEIGH, NC - A brand new healthcare system opened in Raleigh last week, as Atlantic Healthcare System (AHS) unveiled its state-of-the-art drive-thru clinic/pharmacy to rave...
Breaking: Scott Pruitt Leaves EPA to Join Hospital Ethics Committee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald J. Trump announced over Twitter this afternoon that Scott Pruitt will be leaving his leadership role as Administrator of...
Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his...
Product Review: P90X Kegel Edition for Urinary Incontinence
Pros / Tony Horton's new P90X Kegel program can transform your pelvic floor muscles from flab to fab in just 90 days, curing incontinence...
Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....