COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General
ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or...
Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
CDC: Test Kits Are Low, Critically Ill & Famous People Only
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released new guidelines today to to help ration COVID-19 testing kits. They now ask to refrain from testing for...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
New Recommendations for Flu Vaccination: ‘Lick a Knob’ Campaign
DES PLAINES, IL - Doctors in northwest Illinois have a new method to help older adults stave off illness during the upcoming flu season.
Dr....
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...
Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years. She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
This Day in Medical History: Patient Bled to Death When Only a 3 x...
THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1917 - Patient Joseph Hails suffered from a wound that was exactly 4 inches by 4 inches. His injury wasn’t unique,...
Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming. President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go...