CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Reduce Carbon Dioxide, CDC Recommends Against Exhalation

0
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to help reduce atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) levels, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
cryptocurrency meningitis

Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis

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ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

0
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Director Resigns, Becomes CEO of Tobacco Giant Philip Morris

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Director of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Brenda Fitzgerald has officially resigned her CDC post to become CEO of tobacco...

Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship

10
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing.  Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...
hospital administrator

Why I Became a Hospital Administrator

2
After carefully surveying the shifting American healthcare landscape for the past decade, I retired from my increasingly headache filled private practice and said to...

Sexy Ebola Nurses Released from 45-Day Quarantine

6
MOBRIDGE, SD - The nation breathed a sigh of relief today as hordes of sexy Ebola nurses were released from the place of quarantine...

Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

57
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...
hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...