Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised

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WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...

Words With Friends to Add HIPAA-Compliant Messaging

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The popular mobile game, Words With Friends, just added HIPAA compliant secure messaging.  Spokesperson Gene Catterspolti said, "It was a highly requested feature as many...
lab test

New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels

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BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
condoms

Surgeon General Admits: Condoms ‘Kinda Suck’

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WASHINGTON, DC - During a press conference yesterday, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy admitted that, although very important, condoms do in fact “kinda suck.” The...
Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’

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DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...
burned out physician

Patient Care Cited as Major Hindrance to Workflow

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ATLANTA, GA - In a new study by the Centers of Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), patient care as been cited as the single...

Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City

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NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now...
honest patient

Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients

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SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...

Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs

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MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations.  In an unprecedented move...