A Breakup Letter to the Z-Pack

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Dear Z-Pack, We’ve had a good run together. But, my dearest azithromycin, it is time for us to end our love affair. It’s not you....

Congress Passes Canadian Health Care Act: ‘Let’s Just Mooch Off the Canadians’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - After the House of Representatives postponed the vote on the American Health Care Act (H.R. 1628) yesterday afternoon, a bipartisan group of congressmen...

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
mars essential oils

Mars Probe Discovers River of Essential Oils

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WASHINGTON:  Surprising revelations keep coming from the red planet, as NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) was able to direct one of the Mars surface...

COVID-19 Update: Palliative Care Makes U.S. DNR

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ATLANTA, GA - Accepting that COVID-19 is progressing despite all of our best efforts, Palliative has been consulted and has officially made the United...

Reason For ICD-10 Delay: Missing Critical Section on Injuries Due to ICD-10

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WASHINGTON, DC - While preparing for the introduction of ICD-10 in the US, physicians dealing with workers’ compensation realized that there was a huge section...

Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween

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HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween. “Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...

FDA: Keep Reusing Your Mask Until You Eventually Catch Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acknowledging the current shortage of both N95 and surgical masks, the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a very...

Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax

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ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...

Lion King Remake to Include Mufasa’s Prolonged ICU Admission and Futile Care Prior to...

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ANAHEIM, CA - Disney studios has announced that the remake of the Lion King, slated to be released in mid-2019, will feature a more...