New Journal of Negative Studies Announced
BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies. The journal, which will focus...
With Plug Pulled on Paris Accord, Planet Earth Eligible for Hospice
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - Hours after the world learned of the United States’ intention to withdraw from the 2016 Paris Agreement, Mother Earth...
Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General
WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...
Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...
Person Going for Run in 95-Degree Weather Clearly Doesn’t Have Decision-Making Capacity
ATHENS, GA - Clearly not considering dire consequences like severe hydration, heat stroke, and heat exhaustion, runner Michael Rabdo has shown he does not...
Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked
COLUMBUS, OH - A local hospital is trying a new, controversial but more efficient approach to medical care. “We have changed our guidelines, if you...
Urgent Care to Install Drive Thru Window
ATLANTA, GA - An urgent care center in Atlanta, GA will be the first in the nation to provide drive-thru service as part of...
Earth Day News: After 4.5 Billion Years, Earth Remains Full Code
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - After a two-hour long meeting with NASA’s palliative care service, Earth has decided to remain Full Code.
“Hey now, I’m...
CDC Recommends IV Dilaudid to Treat Foot Pain Caused by Stepping on a Stray...
ATLANTA, GA - Finally acknowledging it as the most painful thing a human being can ever experience, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...