Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...
remote village

Impoverished Village Featured in its 500th Medical School Admission Essay

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MKUYUNI, MWANZA REGION, TANZANIA - A rural Tanzanian village is celebrating a major milestone today: being featured in its 500th medical school admission essay. The village, with...
polar vortex

Breaking: Polar Vortex Blamed on Subzero OR Temperatures

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Begging surgeons to keep operating room doors closed as much as possible, the National Weather Service (NWS) has cited the...
washing hands

IDSA Recommends Washing Hands Before & After Washing Hands

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ARLINGTON, VA - Citing it as the best intervention to prevent the spread of infections in the health care setting, the Infectious Diseases Society...
virtual runner treadmill

Treadmill Drama: A**Hole Virtual Runner Won’t Move Out of the Way

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With a rare opportunity to exercise, third-year surgical resident Jason Mann's excitement to go running on his apartment complex treadmill this...
winter outdoor unit

Hospital Opens New Outdoor Wintertime Med-Surg Unit

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - This winter season has been historically busy with influenza A wreaking havoc on health care systems, which are filled to the...

FDA Streamlines Drug Approvals by Eliminating Cumbersome Process of Reviewing Evidence

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new report published in JAMA (Journal Against Medical Advice) found the Food and Drug Administration's plan to streamline the process...

Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication

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PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers.  Bale is a product...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General

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ATLANTA, GA - In a statement earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended against the human immunodeficiency virus (or...