Polar Vortex Advice: Urologists Recommend Setting Genitals on Fire for Warmth
LINTHICUM, MD - With the polar vortex forcing them to convene a rare emergency meeting, the American Urological Association (AUA) has issued new recommendations...
CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’
ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around. Constance Bentley,...
Breaking: New Earwax Impaction Guidelines Released, World Rejoices
ALEXANDRIA, VA - YES!!!! The American-Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery has dropped some serious knowledge on the world with their newly-published and much-anticipated updated...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have...
COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island
NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on...
Breaking: Covid-19 found in toilet paper
Cleveland, OH - Cleveland Clinic has developed a better and faster coronavirus test. With better testing available scientists have not only tested people but...
If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General
NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
Texting While Operating Now Illegal in 5 states
SACRAMENTO, CA – On Monday California became the 5th state to ban texting while operating. This new legislation came after Dr. Kenneth Fellet texted...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been...