Opinion: Like Michigan Leaders, I Also Prefer My Water Corrosive and Full of Lead
I’m sure you’re reading about the Flint water crisis and thinking the same thing as me: Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, the state’s Department of...
Crying Baby Really Trying to Say ‘I Hate You!’
NEW HAVEN, CT – A new study just published in Pediatrics this month demonstrated that countless parent’s suspicions and anxieties were absolutely correct: When infants cry,...
Captive Breeding to Stave Off Dwindling Population of Nice Patients
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With nice patients finally placed on the endangered species list, conservationists have been tasked with trying increase the population of nice...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
Wearing Santa Hat Not Curative for Burnout, Career Dissatisfaction
BOSTON, MA - A new study published in a special Christmas edition of the New England Journal of Burnout has unfortunately found that wearing...
FIFA Requiring “Soccer Biter” to Have Brain Biopsy to Look for Rabies
BRAZIL - In a stunning announcement today, FIFA officials will require Luis Suarez, the Uruguayan soccer player who bit Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini in the...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage...
“Minions” Movie Linked to Rising Rates of Pediatric Hyperkalemia
Emergency departments across the country have been seeing an alarming trend of rising rates of pediatric hyperkalemia since summer of last year. Hyperkalemia, which...