Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt
KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...
Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples
OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor? Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. ...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients...
Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General
WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...
CDC Wants to Remind Americans They Can Still Get Their Flu Vaccine Rectally
ATLANTA, GA - With influenza activity expected to pick up in the next several weeks, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) wants to...
COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days
NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now...
Doctor Sues Himself After Misdiagnosing His Own Medical Condition
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made international headlines for his shocking decision to sue himself after he misdiagnosed his own illness. "I demand justice for...
CDC Confirms ‘Something Going Around’
ATLANTA, GA – In a recent press briefing, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed reports that something has been going around. Constance Bentley,...