New CMS Regulations Force Doctors to Literally Jump Through Hoops

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TACOMA, WA - Stipulations released last month by the Center for Medicare Services have added on to the already onerous documentation requirements necessary for...
dog vaccine

Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified

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HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true.  Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism.  The news came following a monumental...

Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey.  Capitalizing...
hospital ceo salary

Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction...

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CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other...

Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2

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IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...
millenials fomo sapiens

Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...
surgical bouffant

Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap

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For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country.  Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...

A Breakup Letter to the Z-Pack

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Dear Z-Pack, We’ve had a good run together. But, my dearest azithromycin, it is time for us to end our love affair. It’s not you....
gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

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BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...