Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition

0
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years.  This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
used speculum tongue depressor

Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19

0
ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...

Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms

3
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz.  Let’s Knock It Off! has been...

Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles

0
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue...

Report: Hospital CEO Was a Big Help in Clinic Today

83
ST. LOUIS, MO – Outpatient care sources are reporting that Sacred Heart Hospital CEO David Larson III really helped out during clinic today. "Dave really...

Luke(s), I Am Your Father

0
MODESTO, CA - A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected. Before he was Darth Vader, the leader of the dark side, Anakin was...

European Society of Cardiology Recommends Aspirin Before World Cup Final Kickoff

0
MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Heeding the advice of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) ahead of the 2018 FIFA World Cup Final at Luzhniki Stadium...

George Bush: I Misunderestimated the Weapon of Mass Destruction in My Coronaries: Atherosclerosis

0
DALLAS, TX - George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States, had a coronary artery stent placed on Wednesday.  Dubbya said he...

Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas

0
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

7
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...