Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship

10
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing.  Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital...

COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive

0
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients...
pepsi

Coca-Cola Lashes Out, Reveals What Happens 1 Hour After Drinking Pepsi

0
ATLANTA, GA - After a recent infographic caused a stir by revealing what happens to the human body within the first hour of drinking...

Nigeria Offers Aid to Measles-Plagued United States

6
NIGERIA - Local Nigerian government officials have released an official statement letting the world know they were grateful for the help the US has provided...

CDC: Test Kits Are Low, Critically Ill & Famous People Only

0
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released new guidelines today to to help ration COVID-19 testing kits. They now ask to refrain from testing for...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Reduce Carbon Dioxide, CDC Recommends Against Exhalation

0
ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to help reduce atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) levels, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets

0
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

28
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...

Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City

0
NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now...