Blood Banks Bring Green Blood to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

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CHICAGO, IL - The Chicago River has been dyed green to celebrate St. Patrick's Day every year since 1962.  Borrowing the idea to bring...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s...
Thanksgiving post-prandial

One Week Later, Americans Finally Waking Up from Post-Prandial Thanksgiving State

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FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA - Though Thanksgiving dinner took place one week ago today, serum tryptophan levels are finally receding and Americans are...
traffic jam Flonase

Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage

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CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Super Bowl LI shootout

Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout

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HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...

Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success

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ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...

Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website

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BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...