Study: Inverse Relationship Between IQ, Reproductive Capacity

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BATON ROUGE, LA - A prospective, observational study out of Baton Rouge reports intelligence is inversely related to reproductive capacity.  Investigators quote compelling data...

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

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WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...

Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat

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Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news.  One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...

Local Man Upset He’s Not Getting His Healthcare Money’s Worth

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DAYTON, OH - Local resident, Phil Summers, complained that he isn’t getting his "money’s worth" when it comes to healthcare.  "I am in top...

European Society of Cardiology Recommends Aspirin Before World Cup Final Kickoff

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Heeding the advice of the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) ahead of the 2018 FIFA World Cup Final at Luzhniki Stadium...

Nurses Excited to Make Their Own PPE

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A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative. "I'm so happy to live in a country where supplies...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention...
ketchup packet

Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working

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MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...
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GomerBlog’s Tips for Fixing Healthcare

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Hey, cave dwellers: medicine is broken.  To fix it we're going to need a little elbow grease. Here are GomerBlog's sure-fire Tips for Fixing Healthcare: Stall,...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...