Doctor to Hand Out Metformin for Halloween
HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November...
Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed
ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus
BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...
Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool
MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
Surgeon Takes Clinic Patient Home to Avoid 30-Day Readmission
BOSTON, MA - Dr. Johnny NoSleep, a local vascular surgeon, was sailing his way through his Friday afternoon post-op clinic until he was derailed...
Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection. The infection started in his left eye and has...
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Breaking: Biologists Reclassify Millenials as Fomo Sapiens
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As a result of the known high prevalence of fear of missing out or "FOMO" among millenials, American biologists have undertaken...
SEAL Team Six Assigned New Mission to Combat Burnout
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - In a sign health care has truly reached crisis proportions, Gomerblog reports that SEAL Team Six has officially been tasked...
Tide Pods Found to Have Dangerously High Levels of Gluten and GMOs
CINCINNATI, OH – The recent uptick in teenagers intentionally eating Tide Pods has been garnering a lot of media attention lately, but the real danger...