CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:
COVID-19 is a...
IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter
ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health...
Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop
EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
CDC Recommends Against Loaning Out Your Pen if Someone Asks for It
ATLANTA, GA - Lost amidst the opioid and obesity crises over the past few years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star
NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream.
What’s...
To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...
ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...