Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...
Proactive Patient Does Own Admission Orders, H&P
QUEENS, NY - In one of the best examples in recent memory of medical self-ownership, a proactive patient not only sought medical attention but...
Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...
Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition
Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years. This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
Beef Rib Named Official State Fruit of Texas
LOCKHART, TX - Say goodbye to the Texas red grapefruit as the official state fruit of Texas. Texas legislators will meet later tomorrow in...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
TSA Takes Wrist X-Rays for Poorly-Insured Passenger
NEW YORK, NY - Shocked at the out-of-pocket costs he was incurring for the care of his recent wrist fracture, New York area resident...
Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding
BOSTON, MA - Clinicians, be alert: A new study in the New England Journal of Coronavirus has found that a physical exam finding known...
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...