Hurrican JCAHO

Breaking: Hurricane JCAHO to Obliterate All Open Beverage Containers in Its Path

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CAPE VERDE - The National Hurricane Center has detected the most powerful hurricane just yet.  Named Hurricane JCAHO, the projected Category 5 Cape Verde...

Michael Phelps Has a Few Too Many Cupping Marks Near Genitals

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Although Michael Phelps has already drawn attention to the healing technique known as cupping with multiple circular bruises spotted...

FDA Approves of the Administration of Food & Drugs

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing numerous benefits such as satiating hunger, prolonging life, and treating diseases, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) unanimously approved of...

Ronaldo, Neymar Admit Magic Soccer Sprays Contain Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL - Two of the world's best soccer players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar, have told Gomerblog the secret ingredient that makes those magic...

Telemedicine Doctor Probably Wearing Shorts, Possibly Only Boxers

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BOCA RATON, FL -- Patients have long wondered what telemedicine provider Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram is wearing on the bottom half of his body during remote...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes...
toilet paper

Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...
cold illness

NSW Health Official Confirms: ‘Nothing Going Around’

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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - When 38-year-old Sydney accountant Peter Preston presented to his local GP earlier this week with coryzal symptoms, lethargy and a high temperature,...

Exercise ‘Can Be As Good As Pills’

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Exercise can be as good a medicine as pills for people with conditions such as heart disease, a study has found.  The work in the...

Report: Hospital CEO Was a Big Help in Clinic Today

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ST. LOUIS, MO – Outpatient care sources are reporting that Sacred Heart Hospital CEO David Larson III really helped out during clinic today. "Dave really...