Mob Boss Agrees to Shoot Man in Kneecaps Before Weekend
CHICAGO, IL - "I swore off horse races for 10 years, but I relapsed," Sam Hemsworth told us from his wheelchair. "Before I knew...
Dermatology Recommends Arctic Winter to Minimize Sun Exposure
ROSEMONT, IL - Continuing its campaign against arch nemesis, the Sun, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) has issued a new recommendation stating not...
CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked
COLUMBUS, OH - A local hospital is trying a new, controversial but more efficient approach to medical care. “We have changed our guidelines, if you...
Insurance Company to Start Paying Clients in Monopoly Money to Cut Costs
NEW YORK, NY - Insurance companies have been struggling to stay afloat over the past 5 years. Most are financially in the black as the...
Local Veterans Affairs Hospital to Merge with DMV
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to improve efficiency and patient satisfaction, a local Veteran's Affairs (VA) Hospital has announced it will merge with...
Brilliant Diagnosis Made by Naturopath; Cure Coming Any Day Now
SEATTLE, WA - Local woman Barbara Hootro was finally diagnosed by acclaimed Naturopath “Dr. Bob,” accomplishing what 6 different doctors before him could not...
Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Anti-Vaccine Proponent, is in Critical Condition with Measles
GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - GomerBlog regrets to inform the public that Dr. Andrew Wakefield is in critical condition at Blawarthill Hospital in Glasgow, Scotland with...
Obama: I’m Entering The Information As Fast As I Can
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president of the free world told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that he has been “hard at work” trying to...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...