Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
VA Success Story: Vietnam Vet Has Bamboo Shiv Removed
PHOENIX, AZ - Local Vietnam vet, Chuck Rhodes, was finally approved to see a doctor about getting a bamboo shiv removed that impaled his right...
Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed...
CDC: Talking About Scabies Can Give You Scabies
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has some unfortunate news for everyone: Talking about scabies can actually give you...
Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino is a Colorful & Fun Way to Get Diabetes
SEATTLE, WA - Starbucks' new limited-edition Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, available only from April 19 to April 23, is a fun, colorful, and magical way...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's...