Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...
ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise. "A little warning, next...
Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog has just learned that the anti-vaccination (or anti-vaxxer) movement has now pledged to refuse vaccination against the cooties, this on...
Local Man Has Ingenious Plan to Join Gym January 1st
LOUISVILLE, KY - Local man Doug Sims is beaming with pride today as he started his long over-due work out plan. "I had an...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer
BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...
Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant
NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...
Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19
BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and...
Qdoba Offering Free Hepatitis to Compete with Chipotle
LAKEWOOD, CO - Despite Chipotle’s recent infectious debacles, it still has maintained the loyal support of its hardcore fanbase, who are easily willing to...
Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success
ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube...