Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's...
Santa Just Giving Everyone Influenza B for Christmas
NORTH POLE - He himself quarantined up in the North Pole at his wife's insistence, Santa is just bagging it in and giving every...
Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General
WASHINGTON, DC - Only months into her federal role, former nurse and Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has already confided to Gomerblog about her intense...
COVID-19: Derm Braces for Surge in Dry, Cracked Hands
SEATTLE, WA - As a result of a marked uptick in handwashing by the American public in response to pandemic coronavirus, dermatologists across the...
Search-and-Rescue Spots Man’s Penis Under Fourth Panniculus
CHICAGO, IL - Gomerblog has some exciting news to report: 59-year-old Fred Turntable is crying tears of joy this morning after he was reunited...
Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed
ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients...
Florida Physicians Open Moving Company: Two Docs and a Box
FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - Andrew DiCampo and Berger Winsome are your typical industrious and honest physicians who set out to build their primary care...
Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is...
Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered,...
CDC Director Resigns, Becomes CEO of Tobacco Giant Philip Morris
ATLANTA, GA - The Director of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Brenda Fitzgerald has officially resigned her CDC post to become CEO of tobacco...