Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications
NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it....
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...
Doctor Puts Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips and Salsa in Waiting Room, Business Booms
Dr. Dufunk, while watching Dancing with the Stars with his wife, noticed during a commercial that putting Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips out in your...
Hospital Debuts Combination Clinic/Pharmacy Drive-Thru
RALEIGH, NC - A brand new healthcare system opened in Raleigh last week, as Atlantic Healthcare System (AHS) unveiled its state-of-the-art drive-thru clinic/pharmacy to rave...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...
Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is...
Bob Costas’ Eye Infection Starting to Get Infected
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection. The infection started in his left eye and has...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Wow, That’s Bold: CDC Says ‘Zero People’ Will Catch the Flu This Year
ATLANTA, GA - Exuding tremendous confidence, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has announced that it plans on pitching a no-hitter this...