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To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham...
urological association

Lyrics to the Men’s Health Christmas Carol Favorite: “Check Your Balls”

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It is the Season of Giving.  Don’t put your d*ck in a box to spread that Christmas cheer; instead, consider performing a testicular self-exam....

Program Offers Bone Marrow Transplant for Anti-Vaxxers

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A new program funded by a group of private donors will allow any healthy person who is staunchly opposed to vaccinations to undergo a...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of...
botox injection

Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron...

Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat

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Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news.  One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...
Tom Price

Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed...

Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop

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BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops.  Dan...

Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...

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ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise.  "A little warning, next...
Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino

Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino is a Colorful & Fun Way to Get Diabetes

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SEATTLE, WA - Starbucks' new limited-edition Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, available only from April 19 to April 23, is a fun, colorful, and magical way...