Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape

0
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional...
black cloud white cloud

Meteorologists Developing Radars to Detect Black Clouds, White Clouds

0
ATLANTA, GA - In a new strategic partnership with Emory University, meteorologists at The Weather Channel (TWC) has pledged to push the boundaries of...
runner's high

Person Going for Run in 95-Degree Weather Clearly Doesn’t Have Decision-Making Capacity

0
ATHENS, GA - Clearly not considering dire consequences like severe hydration, heat stroke, and heat exhaustion, runner Michael Rabdo has shown he does not...

Physician-Americans to Be Listed in Next U.S. Census as Newest Ethnic Group

2
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Census Bureau has just announced that Physician-Americans will be listed as a choice in the 2020 Census survey.  Capitalizing...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children

0
ATLANTA, GA - Parents pay close attention: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a new warning to the American public against...

Insurance Company to Start Paying Clients in Monopoly Money to Cut Costs

0
NEW YORK, NY - Insurance companies have been struggling to stay afloat over the past 5 years.  Most are financially in the black as the...

No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day

0
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
pokemon go

Pokemon Go Video Game Gets People To Go Outside

0
CHICAGO, IL - Doctors are flabbergasted by what Nintendo has achieved. For years, they have been telling patients to stop playing video games and...

COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive

0
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients...