Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries

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DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks”...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Reduce Carbon Dioxide, CDC Recommends Against Exhalation

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to help reduce atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) levels, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued...

Millions of Men are Getting Bactrim for Summer

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With summer here a new trend is sweeping the nation among Mediterranean-descent men: Bactrim. When we looked into this odd trend, via google search, we...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...

VA Backlogs To Be Honored On Veterans Day

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PAPERWORK, USA - On November 11, 2014, the United States will be honoring its myriad heroes: the fallen fighters, the surviving soldiers, and the longest-surviving...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...

Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...

Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication

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PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers.  Bale is a product...