CDC Warns Man Buns Harbor Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control has issued a very clear warning: Do not date or interact with any men with man...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
Comey height tall

Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's...

Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...
Teratoma

Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary.  It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...

ID Clinic Handing Out Free Chastity Belts

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - An infectious diseases clinic is thinking outside the box in an effort to promote safe sex practices by passing out free...
Black & Blue Friday

ACEP Renames Black Friday ‘Black & Blue Friday’

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IRVING, TX - Recognizing Black Friday not as the first day of the holiday shopping season but as a day to "kill each other...

Clinic Patient Brings Meds in McDonald’s Bag, Must Be Compliant

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NEW YORK, NY - At 8:35 AM this morning, patient Philip Kruger showed up to his primary care clinic appointment with his medications stuffed...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Confused Michael Flynn Requests Immunity from CDC, Immunizations from Senate Intelligence Committee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Several health care and congressional sources have informed Gomerblog that they believe former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is very confused and perhaps altered,...
vanc Zosyn

ID to Prescribe Way More Vanc & Zosyn in 2020

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ARLINGTON, VA - Gomerblog is thrilled to report that the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) has officially revealed their New Year's Resolution, and...