‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’
DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday. Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines,...
BREAKING: U.S. Patient Tests Positive for COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola, Bubonic Plague, Measles, Smallpox,...
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has identified a patient who has not only tested...
Toxicologists: Spice Overdoses Falling, Pumpkin Spice Overdoses Soaring
TERRE HAUTE, IN - Toxicologists all over the country have noted a disturbing trend with regard to street drug overdoses: while overdoses of Spice...
Endangered VA System Named 60th U.S. National Park
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to preserve one of the United States' most endangered areas for future generations, President Obama signed a law...
Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients
NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...
CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak
ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause. It...
Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the...
Doctor Sues Himself After Misdiagnosing His Own Medical Condition
BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made international headlines for his shocking decision to sue himself after he misdiagnosed his own illness. "I demand justice for...
Google to Deploy Self-Driving Colonoscopes
PALO ALTO, CA - Google has started to roll out their self-driving colonoscopies. "We are very excited about this new technology," said CEO Sundar Pichai....