CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

To Combat Obesity, CDC Says Everyone Drop Down & Do a Billion Sit-Ups Right...

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ATLANTA, GA - In a novel approach to help combat the obesity epidemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that everyone...
pediatrics vaccines

Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence

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ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines.  It has been well documented that some...

1 in 4 Americans Have No Emergency Savings in Their Blood Banks

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WASHINGTON, DC - According to a yearly survey by the American Red Cross, more than 25% of Americans in 2014 have no emergency savings in...
herpes, Hillary Clinton

Hillary Launches New Public Health Campaign: ‘I’m with Her-pes’

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WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to raise awareness for the rising rates of genital herpes across all age groups in the U.S., Hillary...
ketchup packet

Toddler Goldfish and Ketchup Diet Somehow Working

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MASSACHUSETTS - A new study just released last week in the journal Nutrition demonstrated that the toddler goldfish and ketchup diet is somehow working; they just...

COVID-19: Purell Launches Dozens of Hand-Sanitizing Missiles

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an aggressive effort to mitigate the spread of novel coronavirus COVID-19, Purell has launched no fewer than 20 hand sanitizing...
washing hands

IDSA Recommends Washing Hands Before & After Washing Hands

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ARLINGTON, VA - Citing it as the best intervention to prevent the spread of infections in the health care setting, the Infectious Diseases Society...
butthurt anal resection

Breaking: Anal Resection Now First-Line Treatment for Butthurt

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CHICAGO, IL - In response to an exponential increase in cases of butthurt over the past several years, the American College of Surgeons (ACS)...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...
mother researching vaccines

Mother Does Research, Chooses Not to Vaccinate

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children.  “Research is...