Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management
WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the...
Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions
KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
CDC Recommends 168 Hours of Extreme Exercise Per Week
ATLANTA, GA - Ready for a sweat, America? In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans,...
COVID-19: CDC Says “We’re Totally Effed” in a Zombie Apocalypse
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) says they're not trying to be curt but if we can't deal with...
CDC: “Don’t Forget to Check Human Orifices for Easter Eggs”
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) would like to take this opportunity to wish everybody a "Happy Easter!" and hopes...
“Rare Diseases” Give Jenny McCarthy Lifetime Achievement Award
LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday night the 197,788th annual Rare Disease Awards - formally known as the Common Disease Awards - brought the house down at...
Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years. She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
Local Man Overdoses on Homeopathic Medication
PORTLAND, OR – John Bale was recently infected with whooping cough, a disease making a comeback now due to anti-vaxxers. Bale is a product...