Game On: Fitbit Raises Target to 10 Trillion Steps Per Day
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In what they're calling an inevitable but necessary update for our country, Fitbit, the maker of health and fitness activity trackers,...
Actors Who Played TV Doctors Offered Honorary Medical Degrees, Can’t Afford Them
BOSTON, MA - Esteemed actors Hugh Laurie (House, M.D.), Zach Braff (Scrubs), and George Clooney (ER), known for their masterful portrayals of physicians on...
Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...
WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed....
NFL Players Now Expected to Wash Hands Before, After Each Play
NEW YORK, NY - Keeping his promise to "Play Safe, Play Smart" and uphold player safety, National Football League (NFL) Commissioner Roger Goodell has...
Luke(s), I Am Your Father
MODESTO, CA - A sperm bank in Modesto has confirmed what millions suspected.
Before he was Darth Vader, the leader of the dark side, Anakin was...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
Scientists Perfect the No-Wipe Poop
BLOOMINGTON, IL – Scientists at Fermi-Labs have discovered something more remarkable and useful to the human race than the God Particle: no-wipe poops. Dan...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary. It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition
OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...