New Recommendations for Flu Vaccination: ‘Lick a Knob’ Campaign
DES PLAINES, IL - Doctors in northwest Illinois have a new method to help older adults stave off illness during the upcoming flu season.
Dr....
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... - After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter....
Secretary Tom Price Deploys Stryker Drone to Mass Vaccinate America for Flu
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh off ex-fixing the Washington Monument, new Secretary of Health and Human Services and orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has turned his...
Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
US Men’s Soccer Team Blames Loss to Trinidad On Anesthesia
COUVA, TRINIDAD - The US Men’s National Soccer Team sustained the most disappointing loss in Team history losing to Trinidad and Tobago eliminating them...
Placebo Gene Discovered, Thousands of Studies Invalid
CLEVELAND, OH – In what many are describing as the biggest biology discovery since DNA’s double helix, researchers have discovered the placebo gene.
A team...
Ronaldo, Neymar Admit Magic Soccer Sprays Contain Dilaudid
CHICAGO, IL - Two of the world's best soccer players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar, have told Gomerblog the secret ingredient that makes those magic...
New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...
Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog has just learned that the anti-vaccination (or anti-vaxxer) movement has now pledged to refuse vaccination against the cooties, this on...