Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...
Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds
WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters to glory, Lockheed Martin and Under Armour teamed up once...
Former College Athlete Overusing Sports Analogies on Rounds
FRESNO, CA - Having just completed his intern year, medicine resident and former collegiate shortstop Logan Myers is brimming with confidence. "Man, during my rookie year, I didn’t know Lasix from lidocaine. But I...
Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2
He's back! The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more. Let's begin!
Dear Surgical Intern,
I've been having this kind of crampy pain on my right side under my ribcage. It only comes around...
Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”
BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming violently at herself in the mirror.
"I was walking by the...
Local Resident Physician Found in Respiratory Therapist Car’s Trunk
GLENDALE, AZ – Resident physician, Dr. Chad Rogers, was finally found after a 2-day manhunt. His wife states that he went to work 8 days ago and not coming home after a week triggered an alarm. "I...
Surgical Resident Delivers Mid-Case, Stays to Close
MASS. GENERAL HOSPITAL - Dr. Hannah Richards, a 3rd year surgical resident, was 39+0 weeks pregnant going into Thursday. She scrubbed into Dr. Alexander's hemicolectomy with lymph node dissection, a great case for her log.
"This...
Chief Resident Forging Attending’s Signature for Intern Assessment Forms, Praised for His Initiative
DROGHEDA, CO. LAOIS, IRELAND - Dr. Means was discovered yesterday to be filling out intern assessment forms and signing them with Mr. McGearry’s signature. The surgical SHO at Our Lady of Perpetual Austerity Hospital has...
Urology Resident Leaves Husband After Sizing Up the Competition
WHITE PLAINS, NY - Unfortunately we have to report on another sad tale of how graduate medical education can take a toll on families. It seems that Dr. Sylvia Smythe, a first-year urology resident, has filed for...
Seasoned ICU Nurse Forces Interns to Hand Over Computer Password to Correctly Enter Orders
CHATTANOOGA, TN – Veteran ICU nurse, Susan Billings, has been working in the ICU for over 25 years now and she is fed up with inaccurate and dangerous orders written by new medical interns. She has taken matters...
