stairwell at hospital

Residency Programs Nationwide Call Jeopardy to Replace New Interns Lost in Stairwells

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CHICAGO, IL - Residency programs nationwide - including but not limited to emergency medicine, family medicine, general surgery, internal medicine, neurosurgery, OB/GYN, and pediatrics...
hungry patient

Patient “Starving to Death” After 1 Hour NPO, Actually Starves to Death Another Hour...

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NASHVILLE, TN - At midnight, patient Eric Stephens was made "NPO after midnight."  After one hour, patient complained to his nurses and physicians, stating...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
nurses station

The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet

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The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...

Intern Accused of Being a Poster Whore

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OMAHA, NE - Ellis Simmons, intern in the Medicine-Pediatrics (Med-Peds) program, was discovered to be propositioning several pediatric hospitalists to work with him on...

The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission

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The Rübler-Koss model or 7 stages of grief is a series of emotional stages an admitting attending experiences when faced with an impending admission....
thanksgiving

Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, ‘I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Dr. Nick Johnson, a recent medical school graduate and internal medicine resident impressed his family at Thanksgiving dinner last night when...
new medical interns

Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%

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BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Physical therapy hyperacute rehab

PT and OT File for Divorce

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PITTSBURGH, PA - In news that is making banner headlines in society pages nationwide and has left medical high society shocked and incredulous, Physical...

Mass General to Offer New Residency in Retractor Holding

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BOSTON, MA - The board of directors of Massachusetts General Hospital announced Monday that the prestigious center plans to offer residency training in the theory and...