attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...
coffee cup hand rail abandoned

Irresponsible Intern Abandons Perfectly Good Cup of Coffee on Hand Rail

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BOSTON, MA - In news that can only be described as shocking and deeply disturbing, an irresponsible intern at Boston Medical Center has abandoned...
DNR

Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and...
decaf coffee

Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely

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NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup...

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

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After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
breakfast

Survey Finds This Year’s Residents Not Down for Breakfast

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ATLANTA, GA - Almost halfway into their intern year, survey statistics are showing a troubling trend. This year’s new residents are not down for...

Hospital Safety: Fire Marshall Bill Edition

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Fire Marshall Bill Burns taught us valuable lessons in safety for 5 years.  This one in the hospital was none other than the best....
N95 99 negative AFB sputums

Paranoid Intern Rules Out TB with 99 Negative AFB Sputums

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BOSTON, MA - Not taking any chances when it comes to his patient's and his very own health, July intern Reed Evans plans to...