new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...

Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question

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SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones.  Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin.  Austin, a new...
wound care don't care

ICU Fellow Inconsolable After Girlfriend Calls for Goals of Care Discussion

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NEW HAVEN, CT - It was supposed to be just a normal overnight shift at a prestigious Connecticut hospital when a hospital janitor found a...

With USMLE Now Pass/Fail, Residency Directors Dread Having to Read Rest of Application

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ATLANTA, GA—While medical students everywhere rejoice over the news that Step 1 of the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) is moving to a...

If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...

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MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets...
psychiatry resident

Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM

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Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am.  At press time Dr. Smith could not...
medical pager

October 16, 2015: National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day

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Finally.  Pagers are on their way out for good! To the delight of physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, nurses, and any other health care provider who...

Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions

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WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18.  (Click...

Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM

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MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...

Tinder Acquires Scheduling Software AMiON, Creating TinderResident App

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Following years of agony among chief residents attempting to input schedules into the AMiON.com interface, a major change is underway: Tinder is now acquiring...