Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Intern Accused of Being a Poster Whore
OMAHA, NE - Ellis Simmons, intern in the Medicine-Pediatrics (Med-Peds) program, was discovered to be propositioning several pediatric hospitalists to work with him on...
Meteorologists Developing Radars to Detect Black Clouds, White Clouds
ATLANTA, GA - In a new strategic partnership with Emory University, meteorologists at The Weather Channel (TWC) has pledged to push the boundaries of...
Scientists, Spiritual Leaders Unlock Meaning of Life: Charting, More Charting
AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS - A week-long meeting of the world's leading scientists, scholars, and spiritual leaders at The Hague has culminated in a solution to mankind's...
Orthopaedics to Begin to Use Emojis in Progress Notes
CHICAGO, IL - In a progressive move by the National Orthopaedic Society of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Orthopaedists (NOSOSO), emojis have now been approved to...
Residents Dismiss Report They Rarely Wash White Coats: “We Don’t Wash Our Regular Clothes...
HYGIENE, CO—According to a recent study, doctors rarely, if ever, launder their white lab coats, a nauseating fact given that these coats carry and...
Assassin’s Creed: MICU
Ubisoft has done it again! It is time for the next installment in the epic Assassin’s Creed franchise. Gamers have enjoyed playing master assassins...
Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern
Dear July 1st Medicine Intern,
I’ve been wheezing a little bit more over the past few days and I’m worried that my asthma is starting...
AMA To Stop Publishing Guidelines, Focus Instead on Selling Insurance
The American Medical Association recently announced a plan to end its longtime role in CME and guideline publication and instead focus on selling term...
New Ophthalmology Intern Not Sure How to Spell Ophthalmology
IOWA CITY, IA - It was a rough start to the year for first-year ophthalmology resident Tony Beamer, who was recently caught trying to spell "ophthalmology," the name of...