intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...

Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2

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He's back!  The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more.  Let's begin! Dear Surgical Intern, I've been having this kind of crampy pain on...
maximal surgery

Surgeon Recommends Maximally-Invasive Surgery

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KEARNEY, NE - Dr. Billy Ali Colic, a surgeon at Kind Samaritan Hospital, pulled no punches and hid no excitement when he recommended a...
new medical app

New Duty Hours Generator to Help Residents Fudge Logs

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In an effort to help streamline the duty hour lying process, a medical student who goes by the name, Hack-a-Spleen, has created a “random...

Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly

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BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m....
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...

Senior Medicine Resident Seen by PT, Recommended for SNF

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - After a month-long stretch on the general medicine service at a large academic hospital, senior resident Alex Perezoso remarked that he was...
signed off sign off

Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique."  She narrowly beat another top...
upset doctor

Things Residency Has Stolen From Me

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Sleep... many many hours of sleep. Meals... 3 meals a day now equals one granola bar and a cup of coffee. Time… Having time to have a bowel...