Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact

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When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them.  Last week, per the...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
baywatch cpr

Surgical Chief Resident Calls for ‘Baywatch CPR’ on the 98-Year-Old Nursing Home Patient Admitted...

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As the first wave of respondents to the “code blue” call arrived at the 7 North nursing station, Dr. Stephanie Smith was overheard saying,...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
fire

Breaking: Interns Literally Being Thrown into the Fire

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ATLANTA, GA - For brand new interns, July 1 is the day where they often feel like they're being thrown into the fire.  For five really...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

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BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...
Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern

Learn the Lyrics to “Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern”

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Are you ready to sing along to this Christmas classic?!  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Intro You know Thomas and Becky and Patrick and Vicki Connie and Colin and...
neurosurgeon

ACGME Caps Neurosurgery Residency Hours to 80 Hours Per Day

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In a surprising change in culture, the ACGME, in collaboration with the World Health Organization and several other human rights groups, have decided to...

Breaking News: THE PATIENT POOPED!!!

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DURHAM, NC - HE POOPED!!!!  OMG!!!  Thank heavens!  GomerBlog can’t believe the news we’re about to deliver!  But he did it!  HE DID IT!!!...