Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients

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ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

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CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...
tips for patients

Annual Patient Symposium Publishes Top 10 Tips for New Patients

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Here are some great tips to drive the residents taking care of you absolutely crazy! 1.     Start by talking about your chronic pain. Even...
autopsy

Nationwide Recall of Cadavers Issued After One Found Alive in Anatomy Lab

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ENCINO, CA—A nationwide recall of human cadavers was issued today after a petrified group of anatomy students at a California medical school discovered a...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m....
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding

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In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays...
55-hour ENERGY

FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...

Anesthesia resident lauded for poise during intubation, admits he had no clue what happened

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PORTLAND, OR - Ms. Wee was prepped for her biannual joint replacement in OR 4, but this time would be different. Anesthesia resident Dr....
medical pager

Pages We Love to Get at Any Point During the Day

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These are probably the best pages any health care professional can ask for! "We're building forts out of drapes, wanna join?! - Anesthesia, OR 4" "Go...