Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...

New Ophthalmology Intern Not Sure How to Spell Ophthalmology

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IOWA CITY, IA - It was a rough start to the year for first-year ophthalmology resident Tony Beamer, who was recently caught trying to spell "ophthalmology," the name of...
confused resident

MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note

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CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight...
black jacket

Long White Coats to be Officially Replaced By Black Fleece Jackets

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CHICAGO, IL - The long white coat has long been a symbol of a young doctor’s achievement in completing medical school and entering residency....
hospital party

Attendings Gather for Annual “Housestaff Fantasy” Draft

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Twelve attendings from Piermont Valley Hospital gathered in the hospital library last Tuesday at 7:30 pm for their annual "Fantasy Housestaff" Draft. Dr. Tom Droca,...
mad cow

Neurosurgery Intern Eager for First Solo Case: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Biopsy

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KANSAS CITY, KS - Two weeks out of medical school, newly-minted neurosurgery intern Bill Magoo is already getting his first solo operative case and...
autopsy

Nationwide Recall of Cadavers Issued After One Found Alive in Anatomy Lab

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ENCINO, CA—A nationwide recall of human cadavers was issued today after a petrified group of anatomy students at a California medical school discovered a...

New Face App Lets Medical Residents Know What They Will Look Like at the...

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Technology and innovation have done it again. FaceApp, a new application developed by the Russian company, Wireless lab, has become a worldwide sensation. It’s...
confused doctor

Attending Loses Perspective, Can’t Find it Anywhere

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NASHVILLE, TN - "I swear I just had it," muttered 57-year-old vascular surgeon Tom Hatfield as he feverishly searched for his perspective under stacks...
coffee cup hand rail abandoned

Irresponsible Intern Abandons Perfectly Good Cup of Coffee on Hand Rail

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BOSTON, MA - In news that can only be described as shocking and deeply disturbing, an irresponsible intern at Boston Medical Center has abandoned...