August Intern Pretty Sure This is Consistent with an ECG
CHARLESTON, SC - August internal medicine intern Paul McCrady was called to the bedside because one of his patients had substernal crushing chest pain....
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
Attendings Gather for Annual “Housestaff Fantasy” Draft
Twelve attendings from Piermont Valley Hospital gathered in the hospital library last Tuesday at 7:30 pm for their annual "Fantasy Housestaff" Draft.
Dr. Tom Droca,...
Podiatry & ENT Take July Intern to OR to Surgically Remove Foot from Mouth
PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a classic July intern move that would make Scrubs' Dr. Elliot Reid proud, intern Timothy Wilcox accidentally insulted a woman by asking...
After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its...
Residents Dismiss Report They Rarely Wash White Coats: “We Don’t Wash Our Regular Clothes...
HYGIENE, CO—According to a recent study, doctors rarely, if ever, launder their white lab coats, a nauseating fact given that these coats carry and...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
July Intern Really Excited to Cause His Very First Pneumothorax
ATLANTA, GA - Sometimes getting thrown into the fire is the best way to learn. At least that's what July intern Timothy McDuffy thinks....
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...