Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients
ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’
FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...
Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy
RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...
Bickering Chiefs of Medicine & Surgery Sent to the Principal’s Office, Yet Again
BOSTON, MA - In developing news at Boston Health & Science University, 51-year-old Chief of Medicine Kyle Jones and 53-year-old Chief of Surgery Maya...
Internal Medicine Resident Calls Rheumatology Fellow In at 2:00 AM for Fibromyalgia Patient “Fibro...
KANSAS CITY, KS - “I was just tired of dealing with her,” internal medicine resident Dr. Kara Gifford said. “She is allergic to every pain...
Report: July The Worst Time of Year to Be Sick
BOSTON, MA – A recent study demonstrated that July, the busiest time of year for teaching hospitals, was also the worst time of the year to...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
The Tale of the Enema and the Trailing Zero Error
LUBBOCK, TX - The Institute of Medicine in 1999 shocked the world when they reported that up to 100,00 persons die each year due...