Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds
WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Nationwide Recall of Cadavers Issued After One Found Alive in Anatomy Lab
ENCINO, CA—A nationwide recall of human cadavers was issued today after a petrified group of anatomy students at a California medical school discovered a...
Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body
CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become...
COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents
CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal...
Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home
PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note
CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight...
After Violating Work-Hour Minimums, Derm Residency Program on Probation
ST. LOUIS, MO - The Dermatology Residency Program at Washington University at St. Louis has been placed on probation after it was discovered that...