new medical interns

Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns

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COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
pathology tumor board

Pathology Resident Makes Up Disease at Tumor Board, Groundbreaking Discovery

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CHICAGO, IL - A second-year pathology resident, Dr. Daniel Platt, is being credited with discovering a new tumor following a presentation at his hospital's tumor...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

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After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...
73 miles per hour

Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour

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BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above

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AUBURN, AL - “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as she read over her intern’s progress note.  “This is terrible....

August Intern Pretty Sure This is Consistent with an ECG

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CHARLESTON, SC - August internal medicine intern Paul McCrady was called to the bedside because one of his patients had substernal crushing chest pain....
surgery resident

Signs You May Be a Surgery Resident

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If you have ever thanked God for the presence of a CRNA student and their multiple A-line attempts because it gave you time to...