thanksgiving

Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, ‘I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital’

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NASHVILLE, TN - Dr. Nick Johnson, a recent medical school graduate and internal medicine resident impressed his family at Thanksgiving dinner last night when...

Intern Excited to Take Care of Cobra Kai, Because They Never Die

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Herb Swanson has started his internship year off on a bad foot.  "I had 3 patients die on me in...
birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...

Next-Generation Robotic Simulation Patients to Contain Real Humans

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After years of experience building advanced robotic simulation patients, The SimCenter of America design team thinks they’ve reached another technological breakthrough. “Basically, we found that...
Landau

Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors

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MEMPHIS, TN - Like the stethoscope, the white lab coat has not only been a magnet for bodily fluids and random food products, but...

Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition

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ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Attending Does NOT Agree with Intern’s Plan as Noted Above

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AUBURN, AL - “This is absolute horsesh*t,” said family medicine attending Renata Bellows, as she read over her intern’s progress note.  “This is terrible....
emoji for orthopedic surgeons interpreted

Orthopaedics to Begin to Use Emojis in Progress Notes

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CHICAGO, IL - In a progressive move by the National Orthopaedic Society of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Orthopaedists (NOSOSO), emojis have now been approved to...
medical student

In Catastrophic Med-School Blunder, Student Gives Actual Feedback About Rotation

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In a rare but highly consequential faux pas, third-year medical student Kevin Garlander gave his actual opinion when asked about the quality of his...