ACGME Now Restricting Patient Hours, Cites Long Stays Not Helping Residents Learn

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CHICAGO, IL – ACGME released recommendations yesterday that inpatients now have a hospital hour restriction.  “We thought it was about time to limit the...

Mass General to Offer New Residency in Retractor Holding

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BOSTON, MA - The board of directors of Massachusetts General Hospital announced Monday that the prestigious center plans to offer residency training in the theory and...
lab results

July Intern: ‘Potassium is Either 4 or 14’

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KEARNEY, NE - Residency is full of minute details and keeping these all together is hard when you're just starting out. So no surprise...

Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True

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LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today.  An unfortunate error in...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters...
feeding tube

Resident Tries G-Tube Feeds: ‘Really Not That Bad’

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NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a...
glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

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PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout...
physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye On this day we take the time to remember The loss of a fond friend, The physical exam Gone are the days Of the bedside...
productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...