73 miles per hour

Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour

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BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern...

Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition

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ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

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Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to...
surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

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SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
doctor walking

Housestaff Restricted to 6000 Steps Per Day

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In an effort to balance resident wellness and service, the ACGME (Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education) has formally recommended limiting all housestaff to...
doctor on computer

Breaking: Residency programs agree to limit administrative emails to 87 a day

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Wichita, Kansas – 67 residency programs from 21 states released a joint statement in which they acknowledge the need to restrain the amount of...

ACGME Now Restricting Patient Hours, Cites Long Stays Not Helping Residents Learn

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CHICAGO, IL – ACGME released recommendations yesterday that inpatients now have a hospital hour restriction.  “We thought it was about time to limit the...

MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet

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BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today.  "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a...
excited medical students

Program Director Elated Residency Will Completely Fill This Year with Multiple Candidates Announcing His...

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TOLEDO, OH - Program Director of Internal Medicine Dr. Marcus Jones is ecstatic his program will fully match this year with the large amount...