Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List
Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
Study: Doctors Can’t Operate an IV Infusion Pump Even If Life Depended On It
BALDWIN, NY - A new study in the New England Journal of Alaris (NEJA) confirmed something we knew all along: doctors can't operate an IV...
Piggy Bank in OR After Gruesome Attack with Hammer
ATLANTA, GA - Trauma surgeons at Grady Memorial Hospital, one of Georgia's Level I Trauma Centers, are working around the clock to piece back...
Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients
ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...
Resident Appreciation Lunch Just Leftover Cafeteria Food
Tampa, FL - Calling the event "Historic", and "The first of its kind", Hospital CEO Dale Gerald posed for cameras as he scooped hot...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m....
Old as F**k Attending Tells Team Story Called “When I Was an Intern…”
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a story to make our current generation of residents and interns roll their eyes so hard they'll require ophthalmology...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...