Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
STAT Officially Means “Maybe”
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...
Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to...
Derm Applicant Shocked to hear Residency Interviews on Zoom, not Instagram Live
MANHATTAN, NY- Ms. Rosa Shea, rising M4 and dermatology hopeful, was busy adding finishing-filters to her Instagram story – an aesthetic and tasteful picture...
Internist Trampled to Death by Herd of Wild Zebras
ST. LOUIS, MO - Sad news today as a local internal medicine physician was trampled to death by a herd of wild zebras while...
Newly-Diagnosed One-Handed Man: Totally Worth it
CUMMING, GA – Doctors on Saturday struggled to find out why patient Robert Shaffer lost his hand. Dr. Virginia Sullivan, an intern on the...
Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern
Dear July 1st Medicine Intern,
I’ve been wheezing a little bit more over the past few days and I’m worried that my asthma is starting...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb
ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...
July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It
CHAPEL HILL, NC - University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today...