STAT Officially Means “Maybe”

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...

Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun

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The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
hospital discharge

Patients and Residents Use Buddy System to Reduce Handoffs

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The UCLA Medical Center is using a patient-resident buddy system in response to a recent study about restricted resident work...
intern physician worth it

“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern

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The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable.  No one in...

Breaking: Resident Answers ‘Yes’ When Third-Year Medical Student Asks if They Can Help With...

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CHICAGO, IL – It was approximately 4:15 PM last Tuesday when Clark Gunnerson, a 3rd year medical student on his pediatrics rotation, uttered the universal...
geriatric patient survived

Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital

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NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life...

Medical Student Accidentally Pimps Orthopedic Surgeon

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NEW YORK, NY - In what is being called a “total collapse of the medical training hierarchy,” third-year medical student Jennifer Hutchinson of University Medical...
nurses station

The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet

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The Joint Commission (JC) has abruptly reversed their ban on caffeinated drinks at physician and nursing workstations in light of new evidence that caffeine...

Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life.  "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...