medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...
productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it...
aorta

Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering

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INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands.  At 5:42 a.m....
signed off sign off

Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique."  She narrowly beat another top...

Chief Resident Forging Attending’s Signature for Intern Assessment Forms, Praised for His Initiative

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DROGHEDA, CO. LAOIS, IRELAND - Dr. Means was discovered yesterday to be filling out intern assessment forms and signing them with Mr. McGearry’s signature.  The...

Physical Exam Tips: The Lungs

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Examining one lung is hard enough, but two of them??!!  TWO??!!  UGHHHHH!!  This is so much work!  If you only have the stamina to...
doctor lunch

Resident Appreciation Lunch Just Leftover Cafeteria Food

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Tampa, FL - Calling the event "Historic", and "The first of its kind", Hospital CEO Dale Gerald posed for cameras as he scooped hot...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

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CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
fetal position

Tips for New Interns: How to Curl into the Fetal Position

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We can certainly feel for all those interns starting this month: their minds are spinning and their cardiac rhythms are just shy of V-tach....
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...