Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first...
New battery-free pager powered by residents’ sweat and tears.
In a seemingly limitless display of fiscal ingenuity, hospital administrators have invented a battery-free pager. Administrators have long lamented the hundreds of dollars wasted...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
OB Intern Interrupts Nursing Sign Out to Request Cervical Exam
Intern Ernest Smith reportedly interrupted nursing sign out in order to request assistance for a cervical check on one of his laboring patients 3...
Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War
COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation...
It’s a Match! Tinder to Replace NRMP Match in Residency Programs
BOSTON, MA – With an increasing number of medical school seniors applying for The Match each year, residency programs have admittedly been looking for a...
Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH -...
Hospital Quarantine Ended After Horrifying Smell from Post-Call Resident Deemed ‘Non-Toxic’
FAR ROCKAWAY, NY - A 24-hour quarantine of 18 medical students and 15 interns was called off after CDC officials confirmed that the fumes...
Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2
He's back! The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more. Let's begin!
Dear Surgical Intern,
I've been having this kind of crampy pain on...