Tinder Acquires Scheduling Software AMiON, Creating TinderResident App

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Following years of agony among chief residents attempting to input schedules into the AMiON.com interface, a major change is underway: Tinder is now acquiring...

Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life.  "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
medical students

New Personal Statement Formula Wows Medical Residency Program Directors

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NEW YORK, NY - A new U.S. News and World Report survey has projected that the 2015 Medical Residency Match rate will likely hit 100% with nearly...
CRNA taking a break

CRNA Sets Record by Taking a Break While On Break

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BALTIMORE, MD - Nurse anesthetist Megan Poole, a veteran CRNA at Johns Hopkins University, set a new record on Tuesday morning by taking a break...
medical student

Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
pelvic exam

The American Board of Board Exams Will Adapt Vignettes to Reflect More Realistic Encounters

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The American Board of Board Exams (ABBE) announced on their hypoactive Twitter account that the move will modernize the vignettes to better prepare doctors...

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

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CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician.  She has been desperately trying to...

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

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After careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on Monday that residents will be eligible to receive a professional...

Thousands Sick with 80-Degree Flu Today

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - In what can only be described as the largest summer epidemic, experts are working frantically to find a cure for the...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...