medical studnets

New Interns Looming: Hospitals Desperately Race to End Pandemic by July 1st

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WASHINGTON, DC—If you thought the Coronavirus pandemic was bad right now, just wait until July 1st, the date most new medical school graduates begin...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

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BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...

With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....

OB Intern Interrupts Nursing Sign Out to Request Cervical Exam

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Intern Ernest Smith reportedly interrupted nursing sign out in order to request assistance for a cervical check on one of his laboring patients 3...
surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming...
73 miles per hour

Study: The Average Doctor Moves at 73 Miles Per Hour

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BOSTON, MA - A new study published in the New England Journal of Things Involving Feet has found that the average physician in modern...
signed off sign off

“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List

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Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear...
wound care don't care

ICU Fellow Inconsolable After Girlfriend Calls for Goals of Care Discussion

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NEW HAVEN, CT - It was supposed to be just a normal overnight shift at a prestigious Connecticut hospital when a hospital janitor found a...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...