Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients
Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without...
White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark move marking the resounding success of the Caucasian Physician Breeding In Captivity Program (CPBCP), the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service...
Doctor Diureses List with 80 mg of Lasix, Net Negative 14 Patients
ATLANTA, GA - Finding his census of 20 patients unacceptable, medicine attending Randy Evans did the only logical thing: he gave his patient list...
Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap
ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first...
Fake News: Tiger Wasn’t Pulled Over for DUI, He Was Post-Call
PALM BEACH, FL - Reports have surfaced that CNN's original claim that Tiger Woods was arrested for driving under the influence are false. It...
Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump
NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...
Hasbro Unveils Innovative Medical Teaching Tools: Mr. Rectum and Ms. Pelvis
PAWTUCKET, RI - In response to the paucity of volunteers for critical physical exam instruction, the Council on Undergraduate Medical Education (CUME) has partnered...
Medcomic: Pen the Doctor Borrowed
Pen the Doctor Borrowed (PTDB) is a condition that occurs when a student loans their pen to a preceptor and never sees it returned....
July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers
MILWAUKEE, WI - Migraines, elevated blood pressures, and heart attacks are just a few things nurses are trying to avoid this month as they...
“Miracle Cure” for Peripheral Vascular Disease Discovered at Major Academic Center by Medical Intern
The campus is aflutter with excitement as Dr. H. Simpson, preliminary medical intern extraordinaire, has found the cure for the incurable. No one in...