Saturday, February 6, 2021

Local Nurse and Intern Declare EMR Documentation War‏

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COOPERSTOWN, NY - Citing a "clearly aggressive nursing note" which was felt to be "the absolute last straw," medical intern Edward Costa formally declared a documentation war on nurse Catherine Ragaz at 12:03 this morning. Costa reports...
white coat

Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds

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WASHINGTON, DC - With the completion of the Sochi Olympics and the success of their “Mach 39” high-tech aerodynamic suits in propelling U.S. speedskaters to glory, Lockheed Martin and Under Armour teamed up once...
doctor on rounds

Former College Athlete Overusing Sports Analogies on Rounds

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FRESNO, CA - Having just completed his intern year, medicine resident and former collegiate shortstop Logan Myers is brimming with confidence.  "Man, during my rookie year, I didn’t know Lasix from lidocaine.  But I...

Ask a Surgical Intern, Part 2

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He's back!  The Surgical Intern is answering the mailbag once more.  Let's begin! Dear Surgical Intern, I've been having this kind of crampy pain on my right side under my ribcage.  It only comes around...
surgeon yelling

Surgeon Caught Screaming at Nobody, Claims “Practice”

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BOISE, ID - In a bizarre incident last Thursday, Dr. Nikki Ivanovich, a general surgeon at St. Luke’s Hospital was caught by staff screaming violently at herself in the mirror. "I was walking by the...

Local Resident Physician Found in Respiratory Therapist Car’s Trunk

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GLENDALE, AZ – Resident physician, Dr. Chad Rogers, was finally found after a 2-day manhunt.  His wife states that he went to work 8 days ago and not coming home after a week triggered an alarm.  "I...

Surgical Resident Delivers Mid-Case, Stays to Close

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MASS. GENERAL HOSPITAL - Dr. Hannah Richards, a 3rd year surgical resident, was 39+0 weeks pregnant going into Thursday.  She scrubbed into Dr. Alexander's hemicolectomy with lymph node dissection, a great case for her log. "This...

Chief Resident Forging Attending’s Signature for Intern Assessment Forms, Praised for His Initiative

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DROGHEDA, CO. LAOIS, IRELAND - Dr. Means was discovered yesterday to be filling out intern assessment forms and signing them with Mr. McGearry’s signature.  The surgical SHO at Our Lady of Perpetual Austerity Hospital has...
printer

ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine

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WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing.  Instead, all 4th-year medical students and 2nd-year residents will gather for a skills combine to...
remote village

Impoverished Village Featured in its 500th Medical School Admission Essay

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MKUYUNI, MWANZA REGION, TANZANIA - A rural Tanzanian village is celebrating a major milestone today: being featured in its 500th medical school admission essay. The village, with its picturesque tin-roofed hovels and lack of piped water, reflected...