Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected
BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. ...
Anesthesia Goes on the Offensive & Blames Everybody Else
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Throwing away the old blueprint of simply accepting the blame, Anesthesia has opened up a brand new playbook and is going all out on the offensive, blaming every else in medicine.
"F**K...
Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Patients on Floor
HOUSTON, TX - Finding it to be a particularly slow day in the operating room today, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been spotted running around Houston Medical Center, intubating med/surg patients on the floor at random.
Nurses were puzzled when they...
Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and could occasionally show at least a little interest and intubate...
RN, MD Confused After Patient Requests Pain Med That Begins with an E
ATLANTA, GA - An inpatient health care team has been baffled all day by a patient’s persistent requests for pain medication, but it’s not your usual suspect. The patient keeps asking for that pain...
Always Blame Nephrology
Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50.
Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis
Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today
Resident: Then, it is from the dialysis done 2 days ago
Intern: They just called...
OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked
KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to spar over their demands for the surgical drape wall. Both...
Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey Plagenhoef announced that "every sudoku puzzle ever created and placed...
In Cruel Prank, Surgeon Steals All of Anesthesia’s Drapes
SCHAUMBURG, IL - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has called a rare emergency meeting earlier today after one of its most highly-recognized members, Ryan Grossman, fell victim to an incredibly cruel prank: a...
Doing the Right Thing: Pilot Blames Turbulence on Anesthesia
DELTA 272 - Occasional rough patches of air during a flight isn’t uncommon, ask any pilot. However, to Delta pilot Captain Jack Wilson, who just flew from New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport to...
