COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents

0
CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal protective equipment (PPE) but also so they can be redeployed...

COVID-19: New 10-Foot Stethoscope Allows Exam from Safe Distance

0
MAPLEWOOD, MN - 3M has announced plans to ramp up production of a new Littmann COVID-19 stethoscope specially designed with 10 feet of tubing to allow a health care professional to examine COVID persons...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets

0
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our nation's orthopods have taken it upon themselves to flatten the...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says the one touting the most...

Nation to Vote on Which Celebrity to Sacrifice to COVID19 Gods

0
Who will you vote to eliminate; Miley Cyrus, Malone Post, Kanye West, or all of the Kardashians? All we know is that even if it doesn't stop the virus, America still wins!

COVID-19: Derm Braces for Surge in Dry, Cracked Hands

0
SEATTLE, WA - As a result of a marked uptick in handwashing by the American public in response to pandemic coronavirus, dermatologists across the United States are bracing themselves for a never-before-seen surge in...

Orthopaedic Surgeon Spends Hours Wandering ICU Bathroom Looking for Pulmonary Toilet

0
NEW YORK, NY - When COVID-19 cases in Manhattan started ramping up, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley knew he wanted to help however he could.  So he went to the ICU at Elmhurst Hospital and...

A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer

0
BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into hand sanitizer. The Son of God could no longer sit idly...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

0
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide have signed up in crayon to help join the front...