Twas the Night Before Christmas in the ED
Twas the night before Christmas, the ED was quiet,
Not a creature was stirring, there wasn’t even a riot.
The patients slept soundly, so...
New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil
SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...
Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers
BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide. They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...
Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
Rosetta Stone Unlocks Mystery of Ophtho Notes
LONDON, ENGLAND - In breaking news, archeologists have uncovered a missing piece to the Rosetta Stone, the ancient stone slab on which the Memphis decree...
Patient Awakens from Coma, Hears About Trump, Requests Withdrawal of Care
BOCA RATON, FL - Area patient Murray Bernstein miraculously awoke from a coma after several years, only to realize that Donald Trump was the President...
Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich
CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room...
Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....
VA Patient Breaks Record, Quits Smoking 365 Times In One Year
BOSTON, MA - Joe Kamel, a 69-year-old veteran, has made his way into the Guinness Book of World Records. The Vietnam War veteran had...