Trying to Ration Its Supply, Palliative Care Team Offers Thoughts or Prayers But Not...
BROOKLYN, NY - In an attempt to preserve supplies and not dole them out like Halloween candy, a palliative care team at Maimonides Medical Center has offered a patient and his family their thoughts or...
Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI
AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he will acquire a urinary tract infection (UTI) within the next...
God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning
HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make patient Allyson Gerber NPO after midnight in preparation for a...
Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner
NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations! Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight year without any toner.
"Today is truly a momentous occasion, we cannot...
Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact
ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's bedside in the slim chance that the ventricular fibrillation (v-fib) is...
Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine
MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his family medicine rotation. “It sounds pretty good,” admitted a cautiously...
It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines
SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross Hospital is ecstatic to report that it has finally untangled all...
Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have Mexico pay for it has failed, President Donald Trump has tweeted his thoughts on a new Plan B: Have anesthesiologists...
Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea
BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented to Maimonides Medical Center with a left femoral neck fracture...
Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube
KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate. The brand-new intern was left alone with the critically-ill patient...